Have you ever noticed that look in the eyes of women full with pity? As they feel sorry for you they might be friendly with you, but you can feel deep inside, that in reality, they don’t even consider you an option at all.
This probably happened to many of us. At times like that it is easy to get angry at them, feeling that they hurt your pride. Is it really them who hurt you? Do you have the right to be angry at them?
I can only speak on my behalf, but what kind of pride do I have if I don’t value any women as they are? If I jerk off to them like they are some object to satisfy shameful needs, than I disrespect all of them.
I don’t have the right to blame them at all. It is I who lost the pride the as a man, I could have. They are looking for someone worthy. How worthy I can be if my daily routine is to be unable to control myself and let the urges control me.
I am not a man, until I regain control over my own self. I am just a stupid boy.
I know this can be harsh and hard to take it, but from my point of view, it is only my responsibility where and how I am. If you are here, you shouldn’t be here to look for comfort or others to carry you through your problems because the first time you remain alone again, you will fail. Just as I did many times. You should be here for training to your fight. To strenghten your muscles and willpower.
I am still weak. I failed this morning as well. But in the past month I achieved some results that brought hope to me and showed the there is something worth fighting for. For me it is the inner peace that I did not experienced for years until a week ago.
I am here, because I want to stand up as many times as neccessary to be in peace forever.
Why are you here?