I have been on this journey for about a year and half and with a little success of my highest streak of 72 days…
I noticed I am more addicted to PMO than I was ever before…
After my highest streak I had around 10 2-3 week streaks but not more than that and everytime I relapsed I indulged more in it…
Thrice a week…once a day and now some thrice a day…I just can’t control it…when I relapse its like I have no control over me over that day or a series of days…
This addiction is getting stronger and my self respect is getting lower and lower with every relapse…
I feel like giving up on my life after all who would want to lead such a life filled PMO…but the thought of my parents stop me…
I just feel like am good for nothing…
No matter what I achieve in academics if I am entrapped in PMO I feel like a sore loser who is just miserable…
I feel like I would never be able to overcome this…
The more I try to quit this the more it engulfs me and I have no power over it😔
A bit long read…
Brother i know it is tough as i have failed several times and ive had relapses 4times a day sometimes. Believe me we’ve all had darkest of times but the thought that our lord will forgive us if we keep trying should be in your mind.
Now try to remember very carefully what made you relapse and put 3-4 times effort on that particular area and try to maintain the protection of that area.
For example if you have a relapse because of frustration then try to think all the factors that would make angry or frustrated.
For me there are a number of problems including overthinking, fantasizing, frustration and anger and some other things too but these are the major factors for me.
Now ill tell you how iam trying to prevent these situations to occure in my nofap journey.
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I have uninstalled all social media except whatsapp(only for college purpose and talk with my parents)
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Stopped watching movies, tv series, anime, games, listening to soundtracks of games and series, etc…
Also removed or disabled all browsers from my phone
Diverted my attention into reading books -
As a muslim we all must pray 5times prayer mandatory but for men it is also compulsory to go to masjid and pray.( if you are a muslim then i highly recommend you to fix this area if not already done)
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I try to make sure not to miss the daily supplications of morning and evening instucted to us all by prophet Muhammad(saw).
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Daily 1.5-2km run to drain energy and eat healthy food .
Engage with people and make good relationships with people with trust.
And last but most importantly follow this procedure with discipline and consistency.
Though iam doing this for only short period of time if followed properly then can be effective
Good luck brother never give up…
U can add me as companion if you need support or motivation
Heres my code: l6ankk
Thank you for sharing your difficult experience.
Here are some thoughts that may help you:
The chains of addiction are very subtle. If you just sit there and do nothing, it doesnt really matter if you are chained. So what? But, if you try to break free, suddenly you realize that those chains are tough.
So, when you say that the harder you try the worse it gets… yeah. For a time that is true. But, eventually you will become stronger than those chains. Eventually you will even be able to break through them. And then it will get easier.
Remember that if you are chained down, you still have some ability to move around. (Depends how long the chains are.) Sometimes we move around, dragging those chains, and think “oh yay I am free!” This means when we do not relapse, but neither do we truly get rid of the addiction and replace it with something good.
This is easier said than done. It is good that your parents are motivation for you. Church leaders therapists, trusted friends… any help that you can get, get it.
These people can metaphorically help you to wear down the chains and break them so that you will truly be free.
Best of luck on your journey. Keep fighting!
what you resist, persists… I made the same mistakes. The only time I got success what when I stopped even thinking about PMO, accountability, all that BS… just focused on what was at hand whether it was my internship, studies, or workout… but yes, good company goes a long way. And I don’t mean tell everyone in your life about it… just keep socializing, this shit fosters in isolation.
Godspeed!
Does it matter what happened?
No
Do you know what is going to happen?
No
But you know what’s happening now, and you can choose what to dream about. That’s very important. Your good memory about your past and your expectations toward life should not be a problem. You’ve reached 70+ days. Are you going to count them your entire life? Let them go…
Same is with me… I don’t know how it happened… I think the more you think about nofap Or fap… Your mind would go towards lust…now you have to not think about a pink elephant with yellow tail…did you noticed what just happened?!.. Just focus on your work and just don’t care about fapping or nofap… Relax a bit
Stay strong. I’m also trying to quit it for over 1 year and my best streak so far was 17 days. Keep going.
The main problem is I have to sit at my table alone for atleast 12 hours a day…
I am a student who is having one of his main exams of his live in 3 months…
So I have no other option…
Overthat the frustration related to studies I used to be one of the best in my whole state cracking national level exams with a good ranks and that too effortlessly but now I am working hard but I can’t even consistently remain at the top even at my coaching…
Overthat previously I used to have a girlfriend…here I am not saying see I had a girlfriend and all that…but I thought this relationship had some scope but it broke off…
This has effected my dreams too much like today
only I had two dreams about it earlier when I felt low sometimes I had dreams about PMO but now these too…This the second reason of my relpase my dreams after I wake up I feel low and I have no control over myself…
The third reason maybe I feel a bit depressed due to the pandemic because I haven’t moved out of my house for more than 6 months…
I chat with my friends about studies occassionally but only that much and previously I used to be talk with people a lot and have a lot of fun…all this a year ago and now am miserable and feel lonely…
I feel like a addict who is gloating about his past how amazing it was and how this addiction ruined everything…
But it is my fault only I cut off from all my friends when I had a break up…
And now I feel lonely like hell…
So yeah these are my main three triggers:
- Frustration due to studies
- Dreams
- Loneliness
Best solution i got for being free from all frustations is staying away from your smart phone. If its not necessary stop using smartphone and you will feel more motivated to study and your mental clarity will be at its peak.
Try going for jogging in the morning because i have the same frustration problem regarding not only studies but also when iam overthinking. And draining myself of energy from running not only helps the frustration to go away but also saves from fapping.
When something doesnt go my way i get frustrated.
But my reason of frustration and overthinking was due to boredom and watching of movies and tv series, anime etc.
I just to keep thinking of the scenes which i didnt like and got frustrated over it.
So stopping movies and all… Is helping me to replace with the things that iam doing now(fitness ,books ive read)
The frustration will take time to go away…
As for loneliness i would to keep sharing your situation in this community so that u dont keep thinking about it yourself.
Find a companion and contact him through whatsapp and talk on daily basis and help each other.
I don’t use my smartphone that much but if u say so let’s try giving up my smartphone for a week…
I hope this would help…
I can’t get out of my house due to this pandemic…I am not allowed and this is frustrating but yeah I cannot risk my health 3 months before exams…
So yeah I can’t go Jogging…
And as for movies and animes I Don’t watch any movies but yeah an anime episode a week…
May Allah make way for you to be healed
in sha allah
Remember any and all triggers should be removed but as u said you are at home all the time. Then try watching something which has less triggers.
But as far as i know every anime is a virus for us.
Because almost every anime ive watched has some peverted character and they sexualize women.
The harder you try, the worse it gets. I gets worse and worse and then reaches to the point where it can’t get anymore worse. And that’s when you start making progress. That is my understanding. When a sorrow had hit me it had happened to me. You can try too I guess