Starting this diary after 7 times failing for 2.5 years. Hope to write this diary everytime i feel the urge or strength to encourage all of others here
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Day 2 (April 11th, 2021)
Starting again after my wife found it AGAIN i did the bad habit AGAIN. Feel so shame for myself like i dont know what should i do to solve this problem. As i write on the first post, i already failed 6 times in this 2.5 years
Now she still doesnt want to talk to me. I fell so ashamed, feel so guilty, feel so down, more dirty than a trash. It fells like no more goodness in myself. Can’t do my duty, cant think clearly…only guilty and sin. How could I disappointed her like this after so many times i failed her before.
Have to wait and ask for her forgiveness…want to ask her to accompany me to solve this problem but i feel embarassed. But i dont know any other idea to stop this bad habit
Day 3 (April 12th, 2021)
Still got no words from her. I must be really a dissappointment to her. Want to ask forgiveness but i’m feel ashamed. I doubt that she would forgive me. I’m to scared to hear her anger or scream. I’m scared that she want to leave me. What should i do…
Today i’m still strong to hold any temptation. Unfollow any girls accpunt on my instagram. Turn away from any photo that show sexiness or nudity. Oo god please make this is the last attempt for me to stop this dirty habit. You are the only one I can count on. Please get rid of any evil wishper and tought…