This is my diary where ill post my self improvements and what’s going on in my life, I’ll even post what streak im on occasionally.
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Day 19
After abstaining for quite some time my confidence has improved and ive been wanting to go out there, start to talk to people more and I want to make some friends of my own, maybe close friends, but I haven’t started going there yet as I’m quite shy and I don’t talk to people much, im pretty good at talking to people, when I get to know them but it’s sparking a conversation that im not very good with, but I’m good at talking to my family, because I’ve lived with them my whole life. Tonight I was confident and was talking to both of my siblings including my older siblings BF, we were all having conversations about different things I was a little overconfident and I think I was cutting in conversations without realizing, they didn’t say anything, but I think they were talking about something important which is why they don’t want me being involved in a conversation. Because I have got ADHD and Autism, I find it hard to tell whether they have finished talking or not, and when I go to talk, they will start to talk and I get frustrated but I keep these frustrated thoughts to myself.
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Introduction, timeline of how long ive been addicted.
So yeah, im 18 years of age, ill be 19 in October, ive been addicted to PMO for 15 months I first got hooked on musturbation at age of 17 in May 2020 last year during the first covid lockdown. I had been fapping to ig models on ig it soon escalated and I was fapping 2 to 3 times a day, I never went to actual sites, it was always just to ig models I was only a couple months into doing this when I realized that I was addicted I tried to stop, but within 3 days I would revert back to jerking off again, this cycle continued for a couple months until about September or October, I found an app called Fortify and I was able to go 8 days, then I would relapse, over the next few weeks I would relapse but then I would achieve a higher streak of 10 days and relapse which was 2 days after my 18th birthday, about a month later I went higher with 14 days, but I fapped without P and later that day I was back to looking at Ig models, for about about a week in a half I was struggling and I was doing alot of peeking and edging until I relapsed on 8th of December after that I went 15 days But on 22nd I relapsed and the next day I had a binge and relapsed twice 4 days later I had another binge and after that I was stuck in the chaser effect and couldn’t go more than 4 days, this continued into the new year and I gave up trying for a while which was rock bottom for me I had just lost interest in trying to become better, it wasn’t till the end of January 2021 until I started realizing that things aren’t getting better, they are getting worse, so I shifted into a mindset where I don’t give up trying no matter how hard it was, I was still stuck in the chaser effect, I still couldn’t go more than 4 days, but I didn’t give up because I knew that I would improve if I kept on trying which I did, the chaser effect remained a threat until March, but it wasn’t until April that I started to make progress again, I was able to go 11 days but relapsed, then at the end of April to the first 10 days of May I went 19 days which was the highest but then during may and most of June I could only go 2 weeks without it before I would relapse again, but then from 29th of June until 21st July I went the longest I’ve ever gone without PMO it was 22 days and I relapsed twice, and the next day I did it again then I relapsed 2 days later, and then from 25 July until now which is my current streak ive gone 19 days while keeping up with that excercise, meditation and cold showers, so I don’t relapse, im hoping that I can reach a month this time, without focusing too much on counting the days, that way there will be less pressure on me. I feel like every day I’m getting better and better and that is because I have never once gave up.
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Today is day 20
Ive reached 20 days of no musturbation and no ig models, tomorrow will be 3 weeks since I quit this addiction for good, im also 2 days away from beating my previous streak of 22 days, last time I relapsed because my schedule was empty I was in my room alone while on my phone and the blocker was not working due to a bug or glitch but it was fixed, and this time im going to win, I’m gonna keep busy, im going to get past 22 days, im not going to fail, I’m going to beat it and then I’ll head towards 30.
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I think im entering flatline because I’m feeling tired today and have spent most of today lying in my bed.
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That’s my dream goal brother, i am glad that you are at this stage and you broke your previous record.
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21 Days
I’m now 3 weeks sober, I haven’t peeked once, and I haven’t touched my dick either, except for when im urinating or taking a cold shower, ive been doing this the hard mode way and have been very good at controlling myself, and ive been forcing myself into the cold shower when I feel my body about to go into auto pilot and ive been doing meditation at least once a day to strengthen the prefrontal cortex and ive been lifting the weights every couple of days. I’ve been doing nofap the cold Turkey way since I first joined nofap nearly a year ago.
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Day 22
Well I have just completed day 22 for the first time, its my second time going 22 days, as of tomorrow, the next day and the day after that, will be the the longest I’ve ever gone without PMO. I’m now heading towards 30 days.
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23 days
I beat my highest streak of 22 days and now I’m heading towards day 30 which is the longest I’ve ever gone.
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Day 30
I took a break from rewire companion for a few days but while I was away things have been very successful ive now gone 30 without PMO, in the lead up to 30 days, my urges got very strong, they were very strong yesterday and I almost gave in but I stopped myself, I spent most of yesterday with strong urges, which I called code red urges 
, today my urges haven’t been too bad, but that’s because ive been out of my room most of today.
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Ive been getting urges on and off today and then I remember how far I have come and how strong I really/truly am, and knowing how strong I really it strengthens and fortifies my ability stay clean and im able go longer without PMO, my previous record was 22 days, but ive reached 30 days which is the longest I’ve ever been, and I look set to go even longer without it, maybe 60 or 90 days, as always there will challenges along the way, but with every successful day I make it through I will become stronger than I was yesterday and today, challenging days will become more easier to overcome, as I progress further into recovery, I will also become stronger than I was before I started Nofap. Only time will tell whether I succeed or not.
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Day 31
Another successful day, almost no urges today
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1 month
So yesterday I reached 30 days of sobriety for the first time, as always there are also challenges so the day before I had urges, yesterday I had urges which weren’t as bad, but when I was at work I was stressed and started to entertain the idea of giving in, for when I get home, but I was able to recognize the thoughts, and I was able to take control of my actions, I stayed away from my home until the dark when the night hit, and I went for a big walk and kept on walking until the urges had completely gone and it was already after dark, then I made my way back home. Today is day 31 and it’s currently night time, it’s been easy today, I went fishing, did the leading the heart training in week 6 training on Fortify and ive had little to no urges today, which has made today easy.
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Day 32
Today is 32 days since my last MO session with Ig models, I’m feeling stronger every day I go without it.
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I’m taking a break for a couple months, but ill be back at the end of the month to complete a challenge I started at the start of the month. Im not giving up on my recovery though, I’m already a month in, and ive got other apps that will help me in my journey to freedom, but anyway I wish you all luck in your recovery and journey to freedom, I hope you all do well!
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Day 37
The days I have been going through have been easy lately, including today, ive been getting these random urges which im currently on top of, this is a normal part of recovery, but I find that as I go further into nofap, the urges get much easier to handle, because my brain has been learning how to handle them.
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Day 39
I’ve now completed 39 days of NoFap Hardmode, I’m currently in flatline where im feeling sad and feel like I wanna cry, but flatline won’t last forever and I will get through it, this is my first flatline I have ever experienced, because 39 days is the longest I have ever gone, my previous high streak is 22 days.
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I’m taking a break until NoNut November, there are loopholes in this app that were leading me to temptation but I caught myself before I ended up peeking, I’m going to block this app for a while and ill come back when im stronger and have gone longer into Nofap
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