So I’m on day 276 and I think it’s time to talk about how I got addicted in the first place and what I have learned so far.
The start of viewing porn:
I started watching porn around age 12. I never thought it was right what I was doing, but I was taking advantage of God’s grace.
Also I hadn’t been given ‘the talk’ so porn was the way I found out about the birds and the bees.
My first time mastubating:
So my first time mastubating happened a little while after I watched porn that had a girl and a guy. I remember after that first time I didn’t do it for a while, but I was dumb I did it again and I slowly fell deeper in to my addiction.
After I started mastubating it become difficult to stop. At one point I just thought that I would live my life like this way forever. There was times that I cried myself to sleep because of this. I felt like the worst Christian on earth. There also was times that I so badly wanted to be dead in an accident or in a hospital so I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore.
What’s different this time? Is the question. The big difference is that I cut myself off from almost every trigger. For me that was Instagram, Google, YouTube, and some times the Google play store. I locked my google and Google play store with an app lock. I also deleted YouTube from my phone. I did this for about 4 months. The password for the app lock, I just put it in a book far away from my bedroom.
This is the first time I got someone who has the same problem. I’m also addicted to Google Play Store. It’s not related to no fap, but I always go there to check for new apps, download them, but I can’t keep using something for a prolonged period of time and soon uninstall them. I check for updates a lot of times in a day even when no updates are available. How do you manage this? Did you disable Google Play Store as well?
App lock is simple. I can easily disable it or uninstall it.
I heard about playstore addiction for first time . Just keep yourself busy doing things with high priority. I think it is easy to get rid of this because it does not give high dopamine hits. You just need to break some neural networks. 21 day theory will work here.
. Just keep yourself busy doing things with high priority. I think it is easy to get rid of this because it does not give high dopamine hits. You just need to break some neural networks. 21 day theory will work here. 