Tanuk's diary - just a diary really

Hey there everyone,
You pretty much read it in the title already, this is my diary. I will try to post regularly, anda ll of your advice/reactions/random stories are welcome in here. Let’s make this world a better place to live in.

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Day 0:
Ok, so as bad as it seems, it’s day 0 only from a hardmode point of view : haven’t released in more than a week. Anyway, I’ve been getting less sleep in the last 2 days because of checking internet and going trigger-fishing. So I’ve decided to reset my counter, as this makes no sense.
But I haven’t introduced myself yet! I’m a 17 year old male, french, living in Germany. I love sports and music, and I want to study to become a doctor. Here you have it, may add details along the way later.
So here I go with this shot, good luck to you all and stay healthy (that comes with a smile😁)!

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Day 1:
It actually feels like my dick is taking a nap after days of partying around all night : just plain sleep, plain recovery. Hope I wont get the hungover part though…
Other than that, doing fine, having a math exam today and feeling down to it.
Have a nice day!:grin:

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What is a Tanuk ? …

A tanuki is a japanese animal, something like a raccoon, there are lots of legends about them!

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Day 2:
Not to brag about it, but I edged a bit last night. Thankfully, I was able to stop myself before losing the mayonnaise, if you see what I mean.
Now some of you will tell me this is a relapse, but I don’t feel this way, and it hasn’t impacted my discipline or anything like relapses usually do.
The fact is, yesterday, we had a challenge with my girlfriend where we agreed to wear classy clothes at school as we both mever do it. So I put on a shirt, and she arrived wearing a dress that made her look… well really there’s no word. So I was in a state that you could imagine, and last night I edged to that memory of her (which of course doesnt make it right).
Apart from that, did well on a math exam, got a physics exam on friday and had an awesome workout yesterday. Also took a cold shower this morning, which hasn’t happened in a long long time.
So i’m still on my way!
Have all a nice day, and keep that smile up on your face!

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Brother, read your original post where you told that your girlfriend was giving you chaser effect and you wanted to set things right for your life.
Look now, you just did the same, i suggest you reset the counter and give me your sharing code. I want to follow your diary.

Sure man, my code is j3ejr8.
Progress is slow and steady. I don’t feel like a relapse, and honestly I don’t really care about my streak anyway! I just want to be free… and I feel now like last night didn’t set me back in this way.

Day 0 again:
Resetting my counter seems a bit more logic now that I have really PMO. Honestly, I think my chaotic sleep schedule is most to blame. I’m exhausted, and angry that everything in my life goes relatively well except for that addiction that makes simple tasks more difficult. Now that it’s the weekend, I will make sure to set a healthier lifestyle for myself and hopefully, this will help with my other issues. Thankfully though, my exams are going well and I am fairly motivated for work.

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Day 2:
Been really busy, but it’s coming to an end in the next few days. Urges hit hard today, I will go to sleep early to prevent a late night relapse. Also tried making my bedroom a nicer place by adding photos in it, the result is quite nice.
I would like having 2 days in a row without exams… Anyway, I’m still alive and happy, so that’s that!
Good luck to all of you and keep up with the good work!

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day 2(again):
Ok guys. I’ve discovered something. We were talking about M 2 nights ago with my girlfriend, and how I wasn’t able to make a streak last for long. Then it came to me that I had never tried masturbating in a controlled, healthy way (of course without P and O).
So I tried doing this, and honestly, I hadn’t felt anything similar in years. It sent me back to my early teenage days, when I used to have this habit under control. Been doing it for 15 minutes, totally controlled, on the last 2 evenings. I haven’t experienced any PMO classic symptoms, like brainfog or sexualizing women. However, I am still concerned I will overdo this and return to my old addictive PMO techniques. So today, I won’t do it at all, even the plain natural type. The plan is basically to replace my old unhealthy fapping habit with a new healthy and controlled one.
I am conscious this is dangerous, and I may relapse suddenly or not experience so many bemefits as going “monk mode”. However, this gradual withdrawal and replacement help staying in control of the urges, and so far so good. Basically, I am testing this new strategy, and so far, it is working.
So it’s been 2 days since I last saw any sexual material, and the urges are definitely here today. But I don’t give in. Talking through this with my girl really motivated me.
So tomorrow will be the first day 3 of this diary. A trifling victory, but a victory nonetheless!
Good luck and let me know what you think of this!:grin:

day 4:
Today’s been rough, masturbated a lot but not so much in a bad way, as I would qualify a relapse. Most importantly, I was able to stop myself. Then I experienced terrible urges for the rest of the day and even this evening, they are still strong, but I’m holding on for dear life and my will feels unbreakable.
I’ve studied a bit today for exams next week, I have a german diploma exam on tuesday. If I pass, I will get the native level in german certified, which would be really nice. Also got 2 maths exam, in algebra and natural logarithmic.
One reason why I was so aroused today was because yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my girlfriend, and we saw each other naked for the first time. We had a good time, but it was strange and exciting at the same time. We did not have sex. This all is very new to me, so I’m taking some time alone this evening to think about it and reflect upon my life and choices a bit. It also feels nice to be alone sometimes.
I think I always saw sex as a kind of “supreme good on life”, the kind of thing that would completely satisfy you and make you a real man, popular, accepted, respected and loved. This is one reason why I developed my PMO addiction, as I so longed towards this thing.
But now that I stand on the threshold of it, now that I start to see the truth about all this, I clearly see my mistake. Sex seems nice all right. But it’s no close match for what I had imagined, and completely different too. There’s chance, uncertainty, fear, excitement, fun, communication, all these things that I hadn’t imagined were part of it. And when I see all these things together, I understand why it’s called an “adult thing”. I mean, when you understand how it feels to do it the right way with the person you love, it seems like a mountain to climb, a tremendous task. A task I’m not so sure if I 'm ready for now, or even whether I actually want to do it.
Anyway, these are some of the questions going on my mind at the moment, if you have amy advice or thoughts on them, please comment.
I’m definitely at a strange and crucial point in my life.
Have a nice day and week!:grin:

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It’s been snowing! Since some of you guys don’t see snow that much, here it is!


Also on a good streak right now, so double good news!

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Looks really beautiful :slight_smile: it’s sunny where I am right now :joy: