I’ve been thinking about this since quite a while now.
The thing I call ‘streaks’ go like this…
Number one, all good and ready to quit PMO
Day 5-6 is the prime of it and I’m like, ‘I don’t need hentai/porn and I’m feeling good’
Day 10 (Here, something goes off)
After day 10 I start getting strong, afternoon or nighttime urges which cause me to relapse.
Okay, so what happens after or on day 10 is that I suddenly start to crave for hentai/porn.
My mind takes sometime to convert this thought into urges and then I relapse while trying to sleep. EVREYTIME!! Yes, everytime I relapsed, it was due to urges while trynna sleep.
This is exactly what are called porn diets
going on streaks and the relapsing within a specific time… PORN DIETS
My stupid way of thinking…
Also yeah, this may sound weird but, " I feel like I don’t want to quit this shit most of the times. I feel like why am I even doing this? I am not heavily addicted as many people out there… Who cares if I’m addicted or not, I’m not being harmed yet. There’s no point in quitting."
It feels like I don’t want to but since many tell its bad, I won’t do it too. (Peer pressure)
This pressure is good, I know but then still, when I’m past or on Day 10 I convince myself that I will relapse after a long time so then no can say anything. That exact thought gets me through chaser and the first week.
It’s wrong. Its all wrong. I know! But then, still, my mind doesn’t let me outta this.
It’s like my inner self (good one) is being held into one place.
I keep telling myself that I can actually sleep better even with PMO. And sometimes
I FEEL LIKE I DON’T EVEN WANNA QUIT PMO.
(I wanna change. )
I am still working on the sleep urges I get that cause me to relapse but then, the mindset issue remains.
I know this though, it’s gonna be wayyy easy when this mindset changes! Just don’t know how…
I didn’t tell you guys before to not ruin all the energy that was present.
I was going to quote part of your post and say “same”, but as I kept reading realized that I would need to quote it all. But, especially the nighttime urges part. Almost all of my relapses happen the day after having lots of urges/temptations in my sleep.
I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard a lot of people recommend reading “Easy Peasy” and it helps with this “porn diet” concept. By the way, that is a great way to put it.
To elaborate on what you identified very well, based both on my experience and what I’ve read from others, the problem is that PMO is medication for problems in life. Stress, loneliness, disappointment, failure… PMO makes those negative feelings go away (temporarily). And so the reason we keep dieting and then going back to it, is because we take away the PMO, but still have the negative emotions of life.
But we have to deal with those negative emotions somehow… and diet/binge cycles of PMO aren’t much better than regular PMO. The answer is two parts. First, to get rid of the bad, by avoiding PMO. The second part is key: to replace that missing medication with something wholesome.
Of course its easy to say and hard to do, and it takes some time for our brains to heal and rewire throughout the process, but it works.
I hope this helps. Great post, I enjoyed reading and responding to your thoughts.
My problem has always been the masturbation related to watching pornography or using any visual stuff such as videos, photos, insta and so on.
I believe that if we get struck by a huge urge and catch ourselves relapsing…the goal would be to just use the mind, and, for god sake, do not use any ‘visual aid’ during the relapse.
At least, I think that this would prevent us to have Porn Related Erectile Dysfunction… believe me, guys, this symptom kills the self-esteem