@Dane1989 Hey brother, I’m very sorry for the late response, school has started up for me again and haven’t had the chance to write a journal yet. I don’t find your previous post creepy at all, always feel free to write as much as you need here bro 
I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your girlfriend, I’ve been in similar situations, knowing that they want to end it but not wanting to lose them. It seems to me that your original comment on her profile picture was reasonable, but I guess her past experience could affect her feelings toward that.
But you most definitely should not feel guilty for it, you said what you said, and maybe you wouldn’t say it again if you could go back, but you didn’t have intentions of hurting her by it. If she wants to take it that way and wants a break, that is sadly her choice. But your right, you can only control how you act, and it’s good that you’re taking the initiative to stop chasing her.
Always remember brother that you deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else, addiction or no addiction. But you must find that love from within first, learn to love yourself, so that you can be independent and not be afraid to lose anyone, because everyone makes their own decision regardless, and we can’t stop that.
I hope I am not coming across as a lecture, I just learned these things myself from past relationships and it is an ongoing process. I used to always be a needy boy in my relationships, and I realized it was because I never loved myself truly and never took care for my own needs, so instead I looked for love elsewhere. But by doing that, I became needy, and pushed away those I loved and my friends.
I still didn’t realize all this though until I got into a bad relationship, I hated being in it, but I was too afraid to tell her I didn’t want to date anymore. And so I waited, but that only made things worse, I was more miserable each day and she was more attached to me each day. After talking with my sister on a hike one day, she made me realize I needed to cut it off and that I was not happy. And so I did. It was really hard, but I stuck through it, and I didn’t go back to her, even though my mom kept advising me to do so because my mom really liked her.
That was one of my best decisions, and after I left I realized how I got myself into that predicament in the first place. I had never loved myself and so I was not listening to what my heart was saying.
Sorry for the long story bro, but I hope maybe that will help. I know I don’t know your whole situation, but maybe you can take something from my story and it can help you. Maybe you need to let her go? For your own sake, and learn to love yourself. Or maybe not? I don’t know, but I’m sure you know in your heart what you need to do. But remember, put yourself and your needs first (it’s not selfish, but instead it allows you to love better when your needs are met), and know that we cannot stop anyone from leaving or entering, we must be able to be content with ourselves no matter the circumstances.
Here’s a series of videos that I found recently, that really helped me to remove the bad thoughts I had about myself and to learn to love myself:
Anyway bro, stay strong out there, I’m here for you and cheering you on 
P.S. I like the new profile pic 
Day 15 - Jan 21, 2021
Streak-wise things have been good, I had some decent urges yesterday and almost started scrolling through Steam’s community hub like I used too, looking for pictures and such. But I stopped myself, and remembered what EasyPeasy says about peeking. It’s not just one peek, it’s asking for the addiction all over again, for the miserable nights, for the feelings of self-hatred and despair.
No thanks, if I could go back to when I was a kid and never look at porn, I would. So why would I look at porn now? It’s the same thing. I’m free right now! But if I go down that slippery slope again, it’s back to hell.
Things have been kind of stressful this first week, chaotic and difficult. My biggest worry really is just my Physics 2 class. It’s so ridiculous on the workload.
But I’ve gotten through it last semester and I can get through it again. If I have to, I’ll scrape by.
Anyway, got to get to class, hopefully I can get my journal in tomorrow morning. Hope everyone is staying well 
keep going brother you are on the best way , I will follow this way no matter what there is no excuses. Peeking and brain 
tricks oh hell I know that feel. Can’t remember how often I fall because of that, we need to avoid this with all the willpower we have left! Those are the things I always relapse ( peeking ).
being the „nice guy“ who feels guilty everytime even if it not my fault!
. But I got myself together and relaxed again it’s not worth.
.
I saw that smoking give me no benefits nothing good, instead it made me weak , could not breath good anymore after a few steps upwards. Guess what I did , I stopped instant and never touched a cigarette again because of my willpower. Iam smoke free 5 years and believe my when I drink a beer with friends I have huuuuge urges to smoke even if clean 5 years. So what I want to say is we need to be ready to beat this addiction mentally! The mindset is what us bring forward , identifying the lies we always face before relapsing, it’s always the same pattern. Let’s end this addition together brother we are long enough into this , iam hyped up and extremely carefull now because the time is running. We are to young for this time waste! Let’s go bro