Sparklymango's Diary: "Who said this was ever going to be easy?" Day 0


#1

I might not be the stereotypical kind who you would find in this kinda place, but here I am trying to change since I’m struggling a bit I thought I would give this a go.

I hope that anyone else that’s going through the the same thing as me finds comfort that your not the only one and that you can change that for yourself.

I’m still hopeful since I’m still here.
So everyday I’ll just vent out on here since it’s not something I can easily talk to anyone about. :sob::joy:

Oh also if anyone owns an android there’s this great app called ‘Block’ check it out totally worth the download. Good for time management :+1:

Highest streak: 101


#2

It’s a good thing u r trying to change yourself.and don’t take so much stress man.you are the boss of yourself . Just ignore these lil fap problem. Concentrate on more things . Life is short . Don’t let it be wasted .


#3

Thanks man means alot :grin:
But it’s ironic for me since this thing I’m trying to quit was my way of removing stress.
So this place will be an outlet for me from now on :eyes:


#4

Take our 7 Days Beginner’s challenge . Let’s fight against other . You have the whole February month to strike your 7 Days streak . It’s a fun game .


#5

Ok I can do that👍and is there a thread for that?


#6

You have joined it already


#7

Okay yesterday I should have written something down at least anything but I didn’t know what to.

Anyway today’s been weird since I couldn’t sleep comfortably once I woke up. Good thing I got up instead of sticking on to my bed.

Started feeling stress but it’s alright so far maybe I should push myself to do more of my hobbies and drop some useless ones.


#8

DAY 0 (attempt 2 )

Today was supposed to be the 3rd day of this 7 day challenge I’m taking part of.

But here I’m at square one again ,I think I’ve done this too many times for it to even feel like I’d ever change. (But at least I never consume porn since I find it disgusting.)

And that’s a mentality I need to change.
I went to sleep early and woke up at 3am since I couldn’t sleep after having a dream about my old school and seeing some familiar faces.

So couldn’t go back to sleep since I just felt uncomfortable and I know if I stayed in that state any longer, I would try to relieve my stress through ‘that’.

So I’m awake all by myself while everyone else around me is asleep.

Maybe I should change this entry and try to post one in the morning and one before bed. Cause that’s the only 2 times in the day that’s likely to happen.

You know what I’ll change the title to something more of a wake up call.


#9

One day down and 6 days to go :joy:.
Maybe I took this too lightly since I could go through over 50 days of nothing.

Today was much better in terms of sleeping no nightmares or anything and I don’t feel any sort of stress.

I decided that I’m gonna try to get back into baking as a new way of removing stress. Chocolate cake here I come :cake: (let’s pretend that’s chocolate :sob::joy:) or maybe try painting again :thinking:


#10

Day 2 of the 7 day challenge (2nd attempt)
I’m back to where I left off, this time and I’ll make sure to get to day 3.

Today morning I had another dream then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Good thing it was 6am unlike last time.

My muscles was in so much pain yesterday since I decide to go out for a walk.

I didn’t wan’t to but my brother pushed me. His very athletic unlike me.

While I was at it, decided to buy some new skincare products specially something that could remove these dark circles.


#11

Day 3 of the 7 day challenge:

Well it’s been alright but I’m so exhausted that I don’t wanna do anything I’m feeling stressed due to some personal matters in my life.

Already dealt with that and should just patiently wait but I can’t :sob:

And I should start working again soon since this break won’t last forever.

Boredom and stress are my biggest factors for relapses.


#12

Day 4 of the 7 day challenge:

Okay today I didn’t really wanna write anything down on here but let’s do this since I should always be reminding myself even if I have no urges.

Alright morning, woke up at 2:30am from my sofa and ran straight to bed.

Woke up again at 6:30am but instead of getting up, I started wasting my time on my phone for about 30 mins.

Nothing innapropriate but that’s dangerous for me since the mornings are when I relapse the most.

The last 2 days have been my most productive days of this week.


#13

Day 5 of 7 day challenge:

Man it just gets worse. The stress is getting to me and I just feel so angry, annoyed and tired of all this.

To my mum I’m just a burden and a failure, but still I’m always the only one in this family that’s helping her and advicing her.

And everytime it’s the same thing I was right and she was wrong. Things could have worked out better if we both listened to one and another.

I guess I’m always acting like the older and more responsible child when I’m the 2nd kid.


#14

I can relate to you. I used to (even sometimes now and then) argue a lot with my father and this is very stressful. Even when I was right in the end, it just felt sad later. We apologize to each other later, but even now I still feel a little tense every time we begin some conversation. Then I reached a conclusion for me: it is better to be at peace than to be right. I do not try to prove to my dad that I am right or him was wrong. I just try to be together with my family in peace with love, because in the end, it is that what really matters.


#15

I really wish I could do the same, if I ignore my mum she makes comments that just make me more angry so I feel the need to say something back.

It’s a daily routine, first thing in the morning she starts with her complaining about every man in this household not caring about anything.

If my dad’s not here I’ll be her next target,I have to raise my voice to get my point across, that’s why I’m a very loud person. And the topics have nothing to do with me.
I don’t even know what whispering is :joy:


#16

So man, really is not going to be easy, I am not you but I think if you can to remain calm, listen to your mother says and try to reply in a calm, positive and respectful manner, it might not solve the problem, but can be less stressful. Better said than done, but it is worth, I know by own experience.
One thing I said to my father that helped me when was arguing was: “Ok, and how I can help?” and then I proceed ro help him.

These video helped me a lot:

Best of luck for you and your family, remember they are your best friends and always will want good things for you.


#17

Thanks for the video it was helpful, but it’s a root problem with my mum I have to get up and leave just to calm myself, I’m 21 :sweat_smile:

I’m hopeful that the current situation I’m in gets better and that my mum stops with her favouritism.

The biggest problem is I’ve always helped my mum, I’m her support in a sense unlike the other 4.


#18

I am 27 and the only child, still living together my parents, but I still learning how to be a better son. In a sense, this is helping me to leave that PMO because I am trying to be more helpful, leaving less time for that sh*t.
And congratulations for you for the effort you are doing to help your mother, even she might not say out loud I am sure she is proud of you, keeping going forward! :+1:


#19

Thanks means a lot hearing that from someone else. I hope the best for both of us in terms of overcoming this problem.

If I solve my personal life around me I’ll have less of a reason to go back to that addiction.
But I feel great today went to bed early and woke up early with no stress at all into day 6 of the 7 day challenge.

If you don’t mind me asking can I have your id?
Here’s mine: 1d3cba


#20

Sure bro! Let’s fight it together! Added you!
My code: e828d8
Interesting, we are the same streak too! It is my best streak in a long time and do not want to stop now and never!