I woke up from sleep with the anxious feelings again, kinda weird that I haven’t been getting them much considering the situation I’m in.
Disconnecting from everyone has its benefits and drawbacks. For one I’m no longer getting myself into drama and I’ve distanced myself from negative people. But on the other hand I just feel so lonely like I lost something in all this. The trust and good faith I’ve had in people, it’s all gone.
I wonder if a day will come and I’ve said this before where I’ll truely be happy and content with myself, when that is I don’t know.
Anyway I forgot to do this on the 30th day where I reflect back on the last 10 days of my nf journey:
*I didn’t exercise in the last 10 days (besides walking)
- Didn’t do any work (not even an hour)
- My internet usage average is about 5 hours 54 mins
- Didn’t go out everyday,
- Only cleaned my room 2 times this week,
- Haven’t been keeping up to date with this journal
- Neglected myself in everything (my emotions were all over the place)
*But I made it through another 10 days
So I guess I need to sit down and just let things out instead of bottling it up , I tried to bring something’s up but then I just get shut down.
I decide to download Reddit and I looked over at the depression subreddit and honestly I was just so surprised at how many people I could relate to.
I no longer felt like I was alone but I can’t say for sure if I’ve got anxiety or depression since I’ve never been diagnosed.
I feel okay now and not too bad about it like I did the day before.
God’s got better plans for me and you too.