I was so close to looking at Porn, and I didn’t. Here is why:
I’m on a 8 day streak, was lying in bed and suddenly felt the urge. This is the first time in four or five days. And I tried to find out why. While I thought about it it actually got worse, I asked myself “why do you want this all of a sudden, you know it’s bad” and my subconscious replied “i don’t know exactly, I feel like it somehow” and I asked “how?” and it said “just…bad, somehow unsatisfied and shaky” and I tried to find out where this feeling came from.
Guys, this may sound funny, but I was actually thirsty. I didn’t think about it because I was trying to sleep and too tired and lazy to get a glass of water, but then I did and it actually helped.
This is ridiculous, but all the same eye opening. I feel this weird “I’m not well” - urge a lot, and I think like this time it’s always connected to some inner unrest. And I promise myself this, here and now: every time from now on I will find out what it is I need, be honest about it and overcome those hindrances like laziness etc.
Have you guys experienced something similar? What was it that was lying beyond the mere urge to pmo?