Sharing my story, some motivation and offering help,on 86th day of No PMO

I was a smoker, 25 cigs a day and I quit it cold turkey 5 years ago.
I didn’t go to classes often and when I go, I am a back bencher and it looked like I will not graduate from IIT, but that turned around in my final year, graduated with the class top 3 rank in my final semester with a sgpa of 8.76/10.
I was diagnosed with anxiety few years ago, I tried hard to get over it, received help even and I am out of it.
My life was always full of flirtings, romances with women, spent a decade chasing them, stopped all of it few months ago.
I had so many accounts in dating sites, apps to find sexual partners, apps to find girls for sextings etc, removed all of them few months ago.
So the final straw was quitting PMO, I was doing it multiple times a day since 9 years and I did quit 85 days ago…

So… No bad habits, no girls, better in studies, no apps to meet women online… Left with, few close friends, tv series for fun, studying for jobs, working out to cut down my weight, helping parents, thats it. Thats my life. I have clear conscience, no guilt, no secrets, happy with myself, loving the way I am, enjoying all the time I have for myself.

As I am 28 years old now, may be after year or so, when I am over everything, may be find a nice girl and get married?

I have been through another addiction but I am not willing to disclose, and I quit it cold turkey too along with cigs. So, if anyone is struggling with any kind of addition, let me know, may be I could be of help.

So guys, although I said so little, It was a roller coaster for me, if I go into more detail, probably I would come out as the weirdest one. There are so many secrets in my life which I can never ever share, yeah they are the worst. I am out of all of it and anyone can… If I tell you that I never experienced happiness for 4 years, would you believe it? So, no matter what your situation is, what you are experiencing, no matter how bad or worse it is, never give up hope. Its gonna take time, patience is needed, but one or the other day, you are going to live your life exactly the way you want. Picture yourself the way you want your life to be, how you want yourself to be and work towards it. Step by step… One day at a time. Keep dreaming… And remember, You are the author of your own story.

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@JonSnow001
Your story will be an inspiration , remember this … Remember that there is light after the dark tunnel .

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Hey man,
Thanks for your story! Can you give advice on how to counter urges when studying? When I struggle in studies, I find that urges get stronger, and that makes it harder to focus and to continue the streak.
So yeah, if you had a tip to remain calm and focused on studuing despite urges, that would be of some help…

@Pierretomas181

You mentioned that you are struggling with studies, urges during studies may mean that you want to avoid those worries about studying by wanting to masturbate. When we are in a state or worry, masturbation is basically avoiding the actual issue. Like for example, I recently brokeup with my gf, I still love her and I cant get over her. So whenever I think of her, my brain tells me to masturbate… So its basically avoiding the pain. Our natural instincts are that… Lets say I masturbate, will the pain go away? No. here the masturbation does nothing, other than giving me 5 mins break from all those bad emotions… I still have to find a way to be over her. The right way is to take a bit of time, mourn the relationship and move on,… The right way is deal with the pain.

So your issue might be similar to that or…

You badly want to masturbate, so your brain is telling you to do that during important things like studies and disrupting it. In general you are not masturbating and your brain is craving for it, so it has to tell you in a situation where you cant say no. That infact makes it even more strong that you are dealing with addiction issue here. When I quit cigarettes, I had this word circling in my head like I need a smoke, literally all the time, nonstop. Here the bigger problem is masturbation, the feeling of wanting to do it. More than than studies, more than job. All though your first instinct is, come on studies is the important thing, but with addiction issues, we cant go anywhere in anything. Important thing is to solve it first.

This applies to both the scenarios - when the urges come during studies, Remember that saying NO to urges is the most important thing than the disruption it causes. Doesn’t matter how big or how worse the disruption is…
And secondly, take a piece of paper and write why you want to quit in the first place, just pour your heart out. write the positives you are hoping to accomplish, write how you see yourself without the addiction and how it is like being that guy… Just keep it somewhere, purse or something. when the urges come next time, make sure you open that paper. , make it a habit, read it all again, feel all that again, take a 5 min break, while the urge is happening, imagine all that you wrote. Just day dream a little bit about the future where you are free of addiction. And then when you loose the urge, go back to studies.

If the issue is the first scenario - along with what I have said above, know that, its okay to struggle in studies, the plan is to find a way to get over that struggle but not by quick fixes like masturbation. Also, patience is very important, no matter whats happening, remember getting out of addiction is the utmost priority.

Hopefully that helps, Good luck bro.

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Thank you @NhTbH, True, there is always light. :blush:

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