Im new here but ill try to be as active as possible. I realized almost everytime i meet a girl thats Nice to me i get a crush feeling about her, and suddenly start sexualising her, like seeing her body parts and craving for them. I think this is a major wall between being a better person in relashionships. Even now im struggling not to FAP thinking about a really Nice girl i met. Sometimes i wished i didnt have this feelings. Its Hard being like this. I want to stop but everything feels like pulling me down.
Yes had same depressing feelings for 3 years .
Now I am somewhat improving but still for some days it occurs …
Only thing you can do is be more open to them .
Treat like your close friend.
This may help.
I think this is clearly the effect if p. For me, it is still hard to deal with women. I mean, I learned how to communicate with them. Thank God I have good comminucation skills, but man when I get to know a girl a bit better, the same thing happens as with you. If I get closer to them it is because they can accept my pervert jokes. Sadly they are quite used to it nowadays. However they are way more emotional than we are. And I realized that they sense it, that I can’t deal with emotion that well. Why can’t I? Because p kills honest emotions and replaces them with desires. Desires of the eyes, of the body. We desire to own something, handle something, f… something. While we didn’t even realize that we lost our true emotions. We however will always be shut out by the real women because they can sense it. NoFap is the way to change this.
I am past my 26th day and I experienced way better conversations than before. There was more honesty in it, than before. Also realized that I can care now a little bit more about others. Not so selfish as before. Previously I tended to look for company only to be around a hot girl. Now I simply go wherever I want and can enjoy random people’s company.
One more recent experience. I watched a movie only for a few minutes just a few hours ago and there was a pregnant woman. It was never my fetish or such, but usually it came to my mind that: oh that good looking girl was done good. This time I just smiled at it and in the back of my mind thought, that the gift of life is beautiful. It was the first time that this came to my mind. I realized this only later on, before I started to comment to you.
I told you this, because it felt good to share it and I hope that it can motivate you to go on with nofap, because it will change your view on women. Even through the harder days, I am so glad I’m doing this and can sometimes experience the change first hand.
All the best to you Bro!
Thanks for the reply bros! Really helped. I really see myself in your stories and for a while, even if Just for a bit, felt free from this. Today im meeting with this girl i met walking with my dog, really sweet girl, wish me luck
Ok, I’m a girl btw for who doesn’t know me …
How can you say about someone who is stucked on when I see any man I believe the full story the story of he is the one … he will do the first step and marriage and pregnant …
but always doesn’t happen …
What can you say about that crazy in my head, yes yes, it’s not so far …
I don’t know why I’m sharing this with you, but I think that there are in touch in between (you want this but unready in the same time)
I know that the solution is to be in this journey , yes … no fap is the most unbelievable challenge that I 'm very proud of it all the advices are the same all the process , we all know it but who is ready to do it honestly and with courage
I hope for you to get your desires soon .
Sorry, I don’t quite understand everything you say. But it seems clear to me, that you girls are also used to make this similar mistake, but from an emotional point of view. Do I understand correctly?
We boys fantasizing about s… with the girls. You girls fantasize about having that movie like romantic relationship and family with the boys?
Yes, you understood me a little, and what you are talking about the goal of both the man and the woman and the desire and tgeir needs of each of them about the connection is the general and normal form, but I hope for each of us after a period of no fap journey that we arrives to understand the peace of relations about the acceptance of no needs when we need so much and versa .
Stay courage .
I have dealt with similar situation. One thing is clear NoFap will definitely help you with better interaction. First in nofap mode a guy have more control over their desire, emotions.
Second it’s fine to have these feelings but it’s foolish to act on it. I personally think it’s natural to have the sexual feeling toward an attractive girl. Yes but it’s important that if feeling isn’t mutual then you should be able to talk to them as normal human being. It takes practice there is nothing else you can do.
This is one of my fav topic about the evolution of human brain, why reproduction is important in living beings and male-female polarity.
All living beings are programmed to do just one thing in this world - reproduce. Continuing of species is our instinctual goal.
All the plants and animals have a season to mate and expand their hierarchy in timely manner. But only one specie on earth that overrides this rule are we humans.
All humans are instinctually attracted to the looks - a curvy full grown lady (for men cuz she can carry his babies safely for 9 months take care of them lately. Since being more curvy can be correlated to more estrogen) and well built man (for ladies cuz he carries healthy seeds, can protect the family and provide food on the table even during the hard times[high testosterone]).
But with the evolution things have changed and becomes way more novel and sophisticated than other living beings and our ancestors. Therefore the interaction has become little complex but not as many things.
In the present ages, here comes the porn, sexually suggestive songs, daily soaps, movies and finally the elites themselves who know how to be successful by cultivating their sexual energies- i.e. making the concept of sexualising as a very cheap. Cheap in the sense be like its healthy to indulge in debauchery. And 99.9% doesn’t even know how our brain, sexual energy [semen precisely] and dopamine are inter related and finally end the lives as experimental rats.
Things which can be kept simple and the results obtained can be more fulfilling and made broken.
Like porn destroying men’s mindset about ladies as mere objects. Whereas they can be the best thing happening to a man if attended properly.
A lady wants grounding, leadership and heart in his man’s action. Whether it be while making love with her, taking care of children or even society. And even guiding her in the empowering decision of her life.
We men basically cheat our ladies for dopamine hits from sex but if a lady cheats her man it will always be for love, attention and care.
Hope all know this quote for ladies- A shoulder to lean on is a dick to ride on.
Therefore giving her ear will do the trick for long lasting relationship. And man need to avoid ejaculation by having moderate sex to maintain a masculine frame cuz we all men know how it feels when we burst our nuts and that dopamine hit subsides.
Or we cultivate our sexual energy to delay as much as possible and keep her happy.
Again, the quote - full stomach and empty balls is dangerous myth. I would prefer to say full balls are the best.
@FaithlessKnight , all you need is to avoid sexually suggestive triggers as much as possible and ground yourself by diving into spirituality. You will start to see the living being in every lady you see rather than she being a sexual object to you.
By the way, its human tendency to observe distortion. Like curves, bumps or a swelling. It is common and observing a curvy figure for men or a big crotch for females is common. The thing that matters is how your brain interprets it.
If you made this far for reading, thank you for your patience.
Well, you can add me as your companion if you want.
Sharing code - l7po4p
Current streak - 81 days
Highest streak - 99 days
Age - 25
Gender - M
Location - INDIA
Bro your quotes. Gave me goose bumps.
Funny quotes with deep meaning…
But I agree with this brother it is only human beings who are overriding the reproduction rule…
We see animals involved in reproduction only in the breeding season. A few times in a year. Their sole purpose is to fertilise…
But human beings are having sex the entire year more then once a day at times… masturbation and porn…other fantasy non reproductive…
Also all other things I still don’t know luckily.
Things to be concerned because we call ourselves civilized and animals uncivilized.
I would say-
Animals are more disciplined by staying in touch with their natural side.
Kudos to them and god save us.
My experience. I’m on day 65 right now, but have been practising noPMO for… 1 or 2 years? Idk…
Okay so let me tell you about an elastic wristband trick… You put the elastic around your wrist and every time you have a dirty thought, you smack your wrist with that elastic band… I’ve been doing thaz for 3 months and on the first day, I used it 100+ times, but nowadays I use it barely once per week.
At around day 30 a girl started talking to me and it was the first time I’d actually see her for her beauty and georgeous character rather than her body features…
Fast forward 1 month, now, we’re together. Not officially, but we have our… moments:) but intimacy is not the point here, rather the growth you are experiencing with this person.
So. The point here is to keep your journey on NoFap, because the brain pathways that are connecting the inner you to adult videos will always be there… They just become weaker and weaker… Until you have it under control (beware, I’m making a big mistake here by being over-confident)… Correction… Until you are enough self-aware to do the right thing.