Last night I had another vivid sex dream about my ex (who, despite having it ended badly and being deeply in love with my fiancée, I still miss sometimes and find more attractive) and its got my emotions and desires all jacked up. I’m having a hard time wanting to say no and not dealing with some pretty intense withdrawal. I’m 13 days in, and really feeling it. Any tips for me in times like this? Anything that might help me stay strong when I have more dreams like this that fuck me up physically/emotionally? Thanks!
this might not be a good way to cope with the urges, but maybe it helps at least trough a tough moment until you can get yourself to focus on something different (which is what you always should try to do in the end. Don’t let yourself be taken by boredom): if those dreams are about your ex only, and it ended badly, try to think about it for a second.
Breath. Let the urge flow through you. Feel it. Try not to give in.
Then think about why it ended badly with your ex. Make the connection. Realize that what you crave right now is having a connection to this person. It might help you to get grounded in reality again, taking the picture of your ex out of your fantasy and forming a realistic one.
Of course, you might feel shitty after this. And doing this in the long run might be a bad way, because in my opinion you should always fight the bad feelings that come with our addiction with positive feelings that are connected to other parts of our lives.
But still, it might give you the initial strength to turn away in a crucial moment
Hi, I wrote this the other day on a group and hope it helps you too: Fapping is a vicious cycle, the brain tells you it’ll make you feel better when you feel shitty (in your case cause of the dreams), but we tend to forget that feeling shitty sometimes it’s a part of life, and to try to feel good at all times is not possible nor good, you just have to endure, next time when you feel the urge, remember the release you’ll feel after fapping, remember that it’s an artificial pleasure, kinda like a destructive drug, it’s not helping you in any way, it’s like the craving for alcohol of an alcoholic man, your mind will try to trick you and tell you you’ll feel better after doing it, but remember you’ll be back at square one, this is the time when you show your real strength, when you feel weak and still manage to endure and not break under pressure.
You are not a special case, we all deal with such problems and rise again like a champion.
My advice give yourself SHOCK therapy
🖑🖑 Two tight slaps on your face but first say to yourself why you started it and remembering your past shity life slap yourself.
It will bring you to your senses.
It worked for me.
I’m on day 14, and it’s getting rougher everyday too.
But I’m fighting hard not to PMO, so you should too! We all have different reasons but our end goal is the same.
Add me if you want me on your companions list.