Samaranjay's diary (A New Arc) 24M

Tbh I hate this :joy:, getting good sleep should be the criteria not waking up early, it would have been great if classes were from 9-9:30, 8 is too early :smiling_face_with_tear:
But ab mc hoon aur isme aaya hoon toh krna pdega adjust.

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Samaranjay be like :-

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Nice brother. You completed all tasks even though you are busy. Your work ethic is amazing. I will try to keep the same.

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Me who has to sleep 10 - 5 everyday and gets nightfall if I sleep longer -

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When you fap too much in one day:

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True. After 6 I also have tendency for nightfalls

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Then there’s me who never woke before 6 except maybe 10 years back :joy:.

Thanks bruh, I kind of messed up my tasks today though, I’ll try to cover what I can, tomorrow’s a holiday so I am also planning to play.
I am making time for my self improvement habits because I realised it’s so easy to fall for negative thinking or fall for urges and cravings when you don’t keep a check on yourself and some of my habits really help in this aspect and also for overall mental and physical balance. No matter how much I study or attend classes, if I am not taking care of my body and brain I am not doing something right.
I realized all of this when I missed almost all habits on 1 or 2 days.

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6 Aug 3:12 pm
I almost messed up last night :sweat_smile:.
I used insta for some time, stupid mind, I don’t know even why I opened it, I made some searches intentionally which fall in this category might be/might not be triggering, I came across some mildly triggering pictures but as soon as this happened I realized what my mind was doing, it was playing games with me/tricking me, I closed the tab and browser after that, listened to a bhajan and went to sleep. ThankGod, I really really don’t want to relapse, I won’t be able to handle this place otherwise. It’s been almost one month free from p** and my mind still has remnants and weird thoughts related to my last session, some of which were playing last night in my mind.
I am thankful that I chose to not relapse last night.

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Yes right bro

I can relate with my own experience

Here relapsing means fucking yourself up for no reason

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Agreed :joy:.
And it literally means the same too :joy:

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damn irony :joy: :joy: :joy:

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Day 27

  1. Studies:
    1.1 :white_check_mark:Attending all classes
    1.2 Investing atleast 1 hr on old concept revision/interview preparation
    1.3 Self study course content/class notes
  2. Sleep:
    2.1 Going to sleep by 10:30 pm last night: sometime after 11
    2.2 :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night
    2.3 :white_check_mark:Waking up by 6:30 am
  3. :white_check_mark:Visualisation
  4. :white_check_mark:Morning Exercise: sudarshan kriya
  5. :white_check_mark:Affirmations
  6. :white_check_mark:Cold bath
  7. :white_check_mark:Reading:
    7.1 :white_check_mark:Easy way to mindfulness
    7.2 :white_check_mark:Bhagawad Gita
  8. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  9. :white_check_mark:Meditating: 5 min
  10. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  11. :white_check_mark:Practising gratitude/gratitude journal
  12. Using mobile/laptop only when necessary

In the morning I just did sudarshan kriya, took a bath, no other habits, revised notes a bit, had a banana shake and went to classes from 8-1, after returning, I had soya chaap roll and chowmin for lunch :joy:, I wanted to check rolls at that place for a couple of days now, it wasn’t too good tho, then spent a lot of time talking to parents, friends and chatting for quite some time, took a short nap (15-20 min), went to play, we had really good games, I even met a guy from my old college basketball team, he was practicing with coach he is doing Phd here now, he told me that trails are pretty simple but you have to train with basketball coach everyday after that, I’ll go for trails anyway, we’ll see what to do after that, washed some clothes and had mango kulfi after dinner, it was mother dairy’s ek dum aam and it was awesome :fire:, talked with mom after that, now going to sleep :v:. I have one assignment to make for tomorrow and I’ll also be going for a haircut.

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I shifted this from 10-6 to around 10:30-6:30, 10 and 6 felt very early :joy:.

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Hahaha true bro. Can feel that.

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Isme kya hota hai?

1DumAam

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Oh yeh galat likh lia it’s trials.
Coach will test if we are fir for the team

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8th Aug 2022
So I relapsed last night :sweat_smile:.
Last two days I was acting lazily and this led to a relapse.
Where things went wrong was those around the perimeter searches I made two days ago, my mind took it as a chance to search some other things of same order and without even realising I crossed that barrier. So stopping right when my mind tricks me to indulge in anything remotely related to pmo should be my priority now, if in case I need to use insta I’ll just stick with my feed and messages nothing else, no going to search section, I’ll avoid using insta altogether tho, but even if I do I have my boundaries set now.
Also I am getting a little doubtful about myself now because just two days ago I said I am not relapsing no matter what and here I am :man_facepalming::joy:. So not making any unrealistic promises.
I have had this experience multiple times now, as long as I just focus on myself rather than making promises about not relapsing or crossing x number of days, I do fine, like I can think to myself it’ll be great to be omna good streak but I am not gonna boast about it or make promises to complete particular days or anything, and at the same time I need to get my routine fixed.
Sleeping early is causing such a huge pressure on me :sweat_smile:, I don’t have any problem with waking up early, I can wake up whenever I want but sleeping early is the real challenge can’t fall asleep before 11:30 or 12, even if I keep lying on my bed, and it’s a necessity now because if I don’t sleep on time I am not very focussed in classes or throughout the day. I will have to look for some tips/videos on this matter and take proper action.

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Don’t fight masturbation, it’s a losing battle because you can’t change the laws of physiology and the laws of your body.

It’s like drinking water and trying to fight back the urge to urinate, and that wouldn’t be a smart idea.

If you read books and do your own research on willpower, you’ll read about studies that show that trying to resist only drains your glucose and willpower and then leaves you unwilling.

Willpower is limited, and you do not have infinite periods of it, except that you have the ability to self-control.

If you learn more about exercise, you will pass on the phrase “train smarter, not harder.”

Professional athletes are very careful about how they use their energies because they want to get the maximum amount of progress without any excessive or compromising or direct their time and energies to training and acquiring good habits to get the best results.

If you fight masturbation you will burn your wastage of time and energy, and you have nothing to do to make it happen.

Instead, use your energy to install new habits in your life to build willpower such as sleeping early, exercising, eating enough calories, following a plant-based diet, drinking enough water daily, writing a diary, thinking positively, and extending rewarding relationships.

When you fight masturbation, it will definitely take your attention and anything that catches your attention will have power over you.

The best use of your energy is to be in good health, following the previous instructions, and not to try to resist disease.

For example, fruits and roots, do not waste your time picking bad fruits (masturbation is like bad fruits) because they have no end. Be smart and follow the fruits to their roots and then cut the roots and they are (the bad habit that produces bad fruits).

Note: I mean that you don’t focus on fighting masturbation and don’t waste your energy on thinking about time or fighting masturbation by saying, for example, I must stop, I must stop without real action to strengthen your will and actual change of your life from prayer, enough sleep, and enough healthy eating Drink plenty of water, exercise, think positive, write your diary, acquire new good healthy habits, and practice a hobby that you love.

Like the one who wants to lose weight when he says to himself, “I want to lose weight,” then puts his attention on words rather than actions.

What will happen?

He will remain following the diet instructions for two weeks, for example, then he will be lazy and lose his goal.

But if he makes his goal to say: “I will not eat the chocolate that I love, I will eat vegetables instead,” and makes his focus on implementing that for a while, and then he gets used to that to move to change another behavior from the wrong behaviors, such as leaving idleness and laziness and starting to exercise, and so on, it is inevitably He will advance and will not lose the goal and will not lose his energy and will.

Hard work, hard work!

We must measure our progress on the road to recovery by what we have done, what we have gained, and what we have implemented in this recovery plan. This is the real success.

But if we focus our attention and spend the day, for example, without porn or a secret habit, this is not real progress in reality.

Why?

Because you simply did not do anything to strengthen your will and change your life with it for the better by acquiring new healthy habits rich in new pathways in the brain that forget the brain pathways associated with pornography and masturbation.

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That’s absolutely correct! You explained my observation in detail. Nice

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When I was on that streak of mine I had been doing well, I had replaced most of my habits with good ones, I still struggled with junk food though, my social skills improved, i started going to the gym, there was no peeking, no looking for triggers, I actually felt I was on the right path this time, then one day which started off as a normal day of me living my life changed in a blink of an eye, which had lead me to my relapse the following day

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