Sahas Journey Part 2 : From Day 0 To ♾

#21

DAY 5
They laugh at me

My head tremors when i am in a social situation.
I walk like a loser … an idiot.
I have no confidence and energy.

My actions are funny. People make fun of me… behind my back. They say… look at this idiot… whats wrong with him.

I want to be a normal human being.
I want to be normal around people.
I want to lead a good life.

I have to do it. … Cant live like this anymore… I want to change change for good… i want to change myself… i want myself back… .
I want myself… back… i have to join my broken pieces… i have to build myself. … to be as strong as unbreakable…
Superhuman…

6 Likes
#22

Your doing good my friend. Expect that urges will come. Before they come picture yourself getting through them and how you do it. Practice this mentally. When they come it will be easier. You got this.

1 Like
#23

DAY 6
Rise in Energy

Feeling better.
A rise in body energy.
Done good workout.
Studied a bit. I need to increase my study time. Too much indulgence in smartphone is bad.

5 Likes
#24

@Sahas
It seems that you are really struggling hard for years, with inadequate support as you made so many accounts.

  1. Resurgent
  2. Resurrection
  3. Awakening
  4. Courageous
  5. Life of god
  6. Sickboy
  7. Sahas
    (Data Source - @anon63822457)

May I know for how many years you’ve been desperately trying for freedom in the Hell of PMO ?

1 Like
#25

I tried for one year… then i gave up the fight When i was 14 yrs old. I got defeated … i remained a slave after that for a decade.

At starting of teen … it felt good … but my inner self said… something is wrong… and i myself was aware that i was addicted… but i couldnt helped it that time… and soon i was lost.

At 25 yrs of age… somehow… came to know about nofap and thus… i decided to won my lost kingdom… i mean to try again to defeat myself or this addiction.
So…

Now, i am 27 … and my struggle continous… 2 years
I have firm belief that i am going to get my freedom back.

I know i am so close to win.
I am a winner.
I can do this…

FREEDOM IS OUR BIRTH RIGHT… AND WE MUST HAVE IT.

I AM A CHAMPION.
I AM A WARRIOR.
I AM A CONQUEROR.
I CAN DO THIS.

THIS TIME VICTORY WILL BE MINE.
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

6 Likes
#26

Very very inspirational words brother.

More or less i have same story as yours. Am 25 years old now. Been addicted to this for a decade or so.

Am happy that you are still trying even after 2 years. Am also on the same track.
Am with you.

Since we have been addicted to it for such a long time, its logical that it will take some time to rewire our brain back to normal.

All the very best for your fight.

NB: Please feel to delete the post if i spammed your diary.

2 Likes
#27

DAY 7
My Life is A Hell… Dont believe me… Then read this… and decide… all credits to Orgasm

@Kaito_Kid1412 Read this… These are my reasons to become a Brahmachari … hard mode… Beware … it can happen to you or anybody.

Orgasm/Masturbation/Porn are the cause of my miserable life
It has bring following problems in my life :

  1. FEAR : it came to me after my 1st year of masturbation.

  2. Zero Confidence : my confidence deteriote over the years. Within 4 years of fapping i lost belief in myself.

  3. Cervical Dystonia : this disease Happened to me after 6 years of fapping.

  4. Depression : Happened to me after 5 years of maaturbation.

  5. Anxiety Attacks/ panic attacks : after 7 years of fapping.

  6. I cant sleep without prescribed drugs.

  7. I remain inside my home… i dont like to go out of my comfort zone.

  8. Social Anxiety…

  9. Weak Body

  10. My situation now :
    I cant survive in this world on my own. I am a Loser and a patient.

Todays diary :
Didnt get a good sleep.
Defeated an urge.
Anxiety, fear and lonliness are killing me.
I am a living example of hell.

Dont sympathize with me.
I have caused this to myself and only i will correct it.

3 Likes
#28

I dont mind comments on my diary. I am happy that you commented on it.

1 Like
#29

Just like every rose has it’s thorn,
just like, every night has it’s dawn…

Never give up bro. You will do it.

1 Like
#30

Great going @Sahas
Just one suggestion. Don’t focus so much on nofap instead focus on your goals and ambitions. Focus so much that you don’t even get time to think of anything else. I think you are getting obsessed with the wrong thing (nofap).
I admire your courage and conviction but I believe you are not doing nofap the right way.

1 Like
#31

Hi Sahas,

I am not judging you but i think your mindset could be holding you back… Your determination and sense of responsibility is a virtue! However, I keep noticing you are in hell and serious pain. I am not going to comment on how to fix this because we all have our own battle to fight and cross to carry. I do want to tell you that this hell you created is in your mind. Just like @_KarmaYogi says: focus on your victories. You are allready on day 7! Focus on the benefits and progress.

Best of luck!

4 Likes
#32

What do you expect from a dead man…

Nofap is my Resurrection.

My life depands on nofap… You have misunderstood me.

I am not normal like you.

I have gone in the depths of hell that you cant imagine.
So dont judge me …

If i offer you to live one day in my life… then you may understand … how miserable is my life.

#33

I agree with you.
Benefits are real and thats why i am marching towards life otherwise i would have commited suicide long ago.

#34

DAY 8
Getting Better

Studied a bit.
Made a Cooking recipe.
Separated husk from rice grains.
In evening i will do some excercise.
Playing Pubg when stressed.