Ritesh's journey [21 M]

Hey guys. I’m back after being kind of free from this addiction I’m back into the trap of porn and I know I can’t beat it alone without being accountable. So here I go.

It’s May 5 today and I plan to beat this addiction once and for all (that’s the only approach that will or has worked for anyone who has gotten out.)

I have had my relapse just a few moments back and I’ve fucked up my sleep routine too. So this is how I’m goibg to start.
Let’s start.

55 days to this quarter and complete reboot.

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Stay strong bro, you can beat this Addiction.

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How did you free yourself and how did you get into it again? It would be interesting to know.

You’ll make it again :muscle: !

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Day 1’s been good. I had a few instances of desire for sexual something but instead I kept my head straight.

For all the people struggling I’d recommend reading 1) Fortify 2) easy peasy book these have been the supporting pillars

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Day 2 was chill too. I respect the resistance that I know can beat me to the ground any time but I also know that I’m facing an addiction it’s not a streak game or a joke. It’s serious threat to my happiness and growth that I’m facing here so I’m going to give my best. It’s just about momentum guys the most important advice I can give is to build a routine of shutting off your phone at 9:30 or something like that and sleep at the same time and get up at the same time every day ut keeps your emotions stable and over the day you’re able to make better decisions. That’s all this is.

Best of luck. Today is yet another non zero masterpiece to be made so let’s win today that’s is all that matters no streak game just today.

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I had won over today. There was a few odd urges that were in between the urge to watch porn and the general sexual stuff. Not a big deal , very tired currently. Goibg off to sleep. Switching off my phone and sleeping early.

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Be strong . Keep going . You will get success in life.

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Got through today as well, I felt horny in the evening, but shrugged it off pretty easily. From tomorrow I will not use YouTube much as today’s hiccup was due to that only. Porn is a resistance to progressive development. I had a breakup with a girl I loved a month back.

It was partly due to the porn addiction as I was getting my fix from the addiction so I didn’t give enough attention to her over the course of our relationship (4 years) I feel guilty as u now realise that this addiction is not just a fucker when you’re in a relationship but this unhealthy level of inflated sex drive makes you enter the relationship itself and when a relationship is found on lust its base isn’t strong so I got to get this over with my entire life’s happiness from relationship depends on getting this out. I’m not scared of the bully that the urges are but now I have a stronger why than before so I know I’ll be able to escape this porn trap.

I hope to inspire you, it seems so small issue but over the course of your life you’re going to end up a non dominating male and that path leads to hell. (When you suffering and you know you’re the cause that’s what hell is. So stand straight with your shoulder back and take responsibility for your life. It’s gonna be tough but you’re going to be a man.) Real one.

See you guys tomorrow.

I held love for myself higher than lust today and cleared the day.
I was listening to Joe rogans podcast and liked a line by Joey Diaz " I didn’t kick the fucking cocain by just deciding one day that I’d no longer do it, I removed the actions that have been leaving me with no choice other than cocain." So today I took action towards that and after a fight with my ex intentional to create more hatered that’d be easier to get over her. Like a man I told her all goodness I wished for her and confronted my behavior to her that ik I’ve been an asshole during this relationship and I’m grateful that we had this exciting relationship and be happy with your life id help if I could in future in any way and we ended it in a very positive point. I want to be even better now coz I know she’ll be watching me and enough us enough .

There was a line I read “This porn is a trap and that’s why the addicts don’t quit before it has ruined thier entire life” I can relate with it now.

Studied 4 hrs today
Exercised
Meditated 30 min
Listened to a book
Will plan my week and go to sleep by 10:50 pm

I take the responsibility to beat the resistance today no other time matters.

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Good to see you bro after a long time…
What is haunting you?
Is p.rn was the reason for your Relapses mostly?

Porn is the relapse na bro. I’m just fed up of that undisciplined lifestyle. It was better when I was keeping note so.

Today was chill. I don’t value peaking or porn anymore this is our problem we don’t understand it’s not us that’s using porn its porn using us so now I know it’s of no use I’ve realised it. Im living the past second time and this time I am who is going to decide my actions with glasses of love and happiness.

Before every action that your conscience doubts even a bit. Ask "Will this be worth it after an hour, a day, a month and a year if it’s positive do it else atleast try to not do it. "

Let’s not take worst of both worlds it’s easy to escape the trap after you understand what you want.

I’m a sexually inclined guy and I don’t want to give up the entirety of sex and become a monk or something like that so every second Monday ie 2 Mondays a month I will take my time and enjoy a session of masturbation. Ive tried quitting masturbation but it’s stupid coz I don’t want to be a monk and my relapses happen coz I want to have sex (had a chance earlier) I can date girls now too I’ve lot of girls that are interested but nah I want my ex back so will do this will keep updating here. Oh sorry most my relapses happened coz I was horny and then I’d go break my promise by masturbating and watching porn but now ni porn or anything but masturbation stays.

You guys can try this strategy too the book “Easy peasy” recommds it too so next masturbation session will be on 17 may.

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Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. Doing good, very good actually just stuck in a small trap of not completing my to-do list tasks.

I remember why I started this and with stronger vigour I’m going to go forward. The menacing thought comes that ooh you’ve never gone uptill 90 days what says you can do it now.

Positive thought for that is change us possible whenever and at any moment and that is the moment now. Our lives are not going to improve even a bit if we don’t take responsibility and I take the responsibility now that the addict that was making the decisions is dead now he has to die theres no other choice . I have hit dead bottom and I don’t intend to stay there any longer so this is it. I have heaven or hell to deal with and I’ve stayed in hell for too long now. Now I have to pick up my scattered pieces and do a favour to my future self of not fucking this up and I promise you guys that I will get to the other side by hook or crook this time.

I have used it the last time on 6th and that’s it. I’m done for life.

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A great day. Completed my studies ache se. But the evening was spent talking to friends and exercising. Worth my time now I will clean up and meditate and read books and sleep by 11. Good night friends

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Starting a no YouTube and Movie for 60 days challenge tomorrow

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Great bro. Keep going…

I’m not a weakling to have a relapse, I apologise but I am 13 days in and now a relapse is part of the journey. Let’s keep moving forward. I’ve been doing the star routine to keep the reaction to the urge at bay coz urges are part of the game I know.

And I will persist longer this time around I’ve rectified my mistake.

Keep supporting

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Be strong bro. You can beat this Addiction.

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Good morning friends. Let’s conquer the day.

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Going good still. Let’s get it.

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