Ritesh's Dairy. M[21]

I will not let myself have negative thoughts they are not even worth shit. When I will have the skill I will get a job im still young and working towards it so I will not let the devil doubt come in.

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Morning my friends:

You can delay but the time will not.

November 2
:x:Got up at 9:10

I fucked up last time. It’s been a year and I’ve not heated this addiction I’m not going to let it continue like this.

Last week Study : 28 hours
Last week Mobile Usage : 13. 116 hours.

This week’s goal is 35 hours of study, 6 days of Recovery nation Workshop & Reading Fortify Book cover to cover.

Evening my friends:

I got a interview offer today in axis bank going for it tomorrow wish me luck.
:x:Got up at 7
:x:20/20/20
:white_check_mark:Positive affirmations out loud
:white_check_mark:Journaled
:white_check_mark:Nap at 2:30

Work:
:x:Studied only 1 hour.
Will do recovery workshop now
:white_check_mark:Exercise
Meditate
Read my goal and reason for why I want to be a person who doesn’t watch porn and why it’s bad for me and what I’m going to gain from not engaging in that vice.
Read book 1 hour
Journal and mobile shut off at 8:30
Sleep by 10:30.

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Hey brothers.

I went for the interview, even tho I was super scared to even go. I gave it with full confidence but it was a training fraud maybe so I didn’t do it.

I have clarity tho after sitting for 2 hours there that I don’t want to waste these precious moments of youth and just settle for small amount of money but follow my dream tho gather the skill set and then go for a job or internship.

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Now coming to the Streak and Nofap discipline.

Nov 4:
I stayed off the poison that get fed because of escaping from the real emotions of life. I responded in a healthy way of contemplating over the thought as a third-party and knowing that positive thoughts result to taking actions and actually moving towards the goal while negative thoughts ultimate turn into snowball effects and results in paralysis which results to nothing and karma will train out irrespective of me doing something or not doing something so when this is my life I will do and turn my fate in the direction I want it to be.

Porn is poison for me as it makes my anxious, depressed and sad which are the emotions that are not what I want my life to be about. I want it to be serene and lovely and not chaotic so that’s why I’m doing this. This is my only chance theres no option of relapse. I have gone all in this time. I’m going all in ie

No touching
No thinking
No fantasizing
No sexual thoughts
No looking at inappropriate images or videos.

No masturbation and no porn for 91 days is the goal.

Star routine and posting
Constantly think of my reasons
listening to motivational videos
daily read/learn about the addiction I’m up against
Mobile and laptop shutoff at 8:30&10
No reddit, discord, or Instagram

Are the system.

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November 4:
Goals and routines

Morning:
:x:Getting up at 7
:white_check_mark:20 mins yoga/stretching, 20 mins meditation and journaling, 20 mins learning/Ted talk/audiobook
:white_check_mark:Skin care routine
:white_check_mark:Aloe & powder.
:white_check_mark:Thinking positively and squishing the negative thoughts.

Work/afternoon:
:white_check_mark:4.5 hour study
:white_check_mark:Less than 1 hr of phone usage
:white_check_mark:Nap and walk after lunch
:white_check_mark:Squishing the ants
:white_check_mark:Star routine @ 5

Evening:
:white_check_mark:Recovery nation Workshop
:white_check_mark:Posting on Recovery nation
:white_check_mark: Exercise 45 mins
:white_check_mark:Podcast
:x:Meditation and wim hof breathing exercise
:x:Newspaper
:white_check_mark:Skincare
:white_check_mark:Soak sprouts
:x:Read book 1 hour.

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Morning friends.

November 5:
Cultivating the inner garden of love in dark times to reap in the good and bad ones.

Morning:
:x:Got up at 7:30
:white_check_mark:20/20/20
:white_check_mark:Thinking positive and squishing the lusty and the negative thoughts/ talks.
:white_check_mark:Aloe and powder.

Work:
:white_check_mark:2 hr work
:white_check_mark:4 hr study
:white_check_mark:Lunch & stayed positive and talked out the negative down putting thoughts.

Evening:
:white_check_mark: Exercise & and amazing podcast
:white_check_mark:Recovery nation Workshop
:white_check_mark:Connected with my family & friends.
:white_check_mark:Meditation , newspaper, wim hof
:white_check_mark:30 min book reading.
:x:Soak sprouts.

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November 6th:

Morning:
:white_check_mark:Got up at 7
:white_check_mark:Aloe and powder
:white_check_mark:20/20(Journaled meditation and removed the negative and anxious thoughts that were coming)
:white_check_mark:Will read book 20 min
Study 2 hr then
Then do eye exercises.

Work:
:white_check_mark:3 hr study
:white_check_mark:2 hr work
:x:Workshop
:white_check_mark:Thought positive and accurate thoughts rather than negative and anxious ones.

Evening:
:white_check_mark:Walked 16 kms.
:black_circle: Meditation
:black_circle:Recovery workshop
:black_circle:Newspaper
:black_circle:30 min book
:black_circle:Soak sprouts.

My brothers. I’ve an announcement to make that I’m on day 6 nd I have a reason not to back up now coz I’m loving this shit​:heart::laughing:

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I lost the purpose and relapsed last night. I choose porn rather than the compulsive reaction. Been tensed for a few days and ultimately resorted to porn and masturbation. Sad to say thism

So sad… Just after your announcement of day 6. Almost 1 week.

Yes my friend. I was so confused and irritated and the worse is I choose porn. I did the star routine and then choose it.

Hey my friends.

I’m back went on a break for a week.

I have been loyal to myself and you guys,Masturbated 2 times both times without porn.

Goal is to not watch porn or masturbate and now that I have this kind of hatered for orgasm I guess there’s no point in saying if I want to orgasm or not.

I was struggling with the loop of negative mind set and anxiety but have been practicing the “Replace BLUE thought with accurate thoughts” so that place is good.

I am going to give up porn masturbation and orgasm uptill 10 January not a goal or stuff like that, I’ll just give it up. I’ll be disciplined to switch off electronics at 8:30 including internet and also Exercise, take naps every afternoon and follow my diet plan. Will be uploading photo of progess in physique, skin and over all mentality shift.
This shift can’t happen without daily reading or with not being disciplined.

Heylo brothers.

I made appan with myself that it’s a one time offer and if I get it I’ll gift myself a crucial 4gb ram and crucial mx500 250 GB SSD card.

Few months back I wanted these so bad then gave up on the idea but now I need it for programming and machine learning so it would be a great gift.

I have started taking control of the inner dailogue for emotions nd thoughts feeling great nd having success with it

Hey mates. Total bramhacharya of thought and action is needed. When you offer 0$ vs 0$ there no option to choose anything else so not giving any other shit to myself. It’s not the brain that is lusty but me so I’ll change myself.

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One thing I would like to share is that mostly when people go for porn is when they are facing an identity crisis ie they don’t resonate with anything, they shut themselves in a box and just forget about the result of the action. Everything has a reaction.

Get hold of your life no one else is going to do anything for you if you want to get out of it you have to do it and it’s just a simple secret ie don’t give even a bit of permission to go out of discipline. I have previously failed just coz of this but now I understand don’t give up the discipline of cold shower, Exercise, meditation and studying . Change your life for better find an identity and stick to it.