Risinglion123 - The Daily Vlog

Hi I am Risinglion123 , I’ve been in this forum for almost 2 years. People who know me here may ask me this most eligible question of this century. Why ? Why again.

Well I don’t know is the only the honest answer I can say right now. Regarding my current timeline , I relapsed after almost a month of No fap.

This diary is to make myself come back on track asap. Now another question arises. Why not use the old diary. Well my mind is giving me some screwed up reasons preventing me to continue from that.

For the people who don’t know me. This is my story in a descriptive manner

Story

I am typically an introvert who prefer spending time alone rather than spending time with my classmates. Why I am an introvert? Probably because my dad and mom are introverts. My dad used to say that he was an introvert in his childhood but he was forced to become an extrovert because of his job which involve a lot of communication skills. My mom used to be a nerd in studies and expect me to become like that.

That’s all about my family. Even though I used to be an introvert, I am really determined to succeed in life since childhood. My favorite sport I love to watch is Cricket. Whenever MS Dhoni or Virat Kohli make our country win during stressful situations, It gives me goosebumps and at the same time, a mad desire that people should look at me like a captain/ hero/ savior in my future because I never got a chance to shine in my life.

Since I am an introvert, I used to have a lot of hobbies since childhood. Some of my general interest were music, zodiac sign, pokemon , cricket and so on. I chose the name Risinglion123 because of my zodiac sign Leo, the zodiac sign that ideally contradicts my behavior. For those who have less idea about astrology, Leo is the zodiac sign that is considered confident, brave , dominant and the one who shines a lot, in brief which are the characteristics that I want.

Sorry, I love to story tell a lot, so without further due, lets get to our common topic.

How I found out the concept called masturbation

I was 12 years old. Studying in 7th Standard as a typical introvert reading books, daydreaming etc. There was a guy( I don’t want to reveal his name) who has a habit of massaging his d**k in public. I don’t blame him because he has a problem associated with his brain due to iron deficiency. Whenever he does such a process I make an attempt to move his hands out of that position. Whenever I does that, he begin to act aggressively making noises to stop me from stopping him. After 3- 4 minutes of this act, he become calm and composed and removed his hand from that area. This aroused my curiosity. That night, I followed the same procedure and waited for few minutes. I began to feel a particular sensation which reached its peak level about few seconds and dropped down to zero after that. You know what happened next right?

How I found porn ( An experience to prove why porn is dangerous than Masturbation. Especially to those people who believe in the sentence " One peek wont hurt" )

I used M as a reward system whenever I complete academic stuff like HW, Good marks in exams etc. I stopped playing Pokemon because I thought M is better. M used to give me more happiness, and also does not consume time. I got my 10th board result. I got my AIR rank near to 1600 among 16 lakh students, received certificate from Mayor from our state and my name got published in the newspaper. Things are going favorable right?

NO

I opted Bio- Maths for Class 11.The life of an introvert started to bore me. The M process is no more interesting now. As we become teenagers, we start to make attempt to attract our opposite gender right? From class 11 onwards, my primary goal was to make a girl get impressed by me. So an introverted life was not found as an attractive option for that. So I decided to become an extrovert. I started talking to men and women around me in a awkward manner because honestly I have no idea what i should talk as an extrovert. People started to treat me as clown, bullying me when needed, made me post pics in Instagram of me sitting in the closet.

The girls also started to treat me as if I am an awkward person. But I was late. I understood that I was treated like a clown on Class 12. All the drama that took place on Class 11 has reduced my academic performance. Tbh, I just passed the 11th standard. I was too late to understand the harsh reality of life. This may be nothing for people who had overcome several setbacks in life. Probably this was my first setback. I gone through minute depression like situation for 6 months. I started failing in exams. One of the student in my class understood my current situation and he gave me an advice.

" I know your current situation. Go watch some porn. You’ll get a lot of women there. "

After that I started enquiring about porn, its procedure to access it and so on. It was more like in a Cloud Nine situation when I first started watching porn. I will wait for the school to get over, take my personal laptop, turn on the internet, shut the doors and watches it. The M process became interesting again. I saw life in a virtual world.

The board exams for 12 starts within 1 week. I failed a lot of internal examinations in my school. Desperate to get motivation, I saw a Beer Biceps YouTube channel. The way he speaks, began to motivate me. I worked damn hard and managed to get 87 percentage for board exam.

How I came across No Fap

I became a constant viewer of Beerbiceps YouTube channel and through that , I came to know about No Fap.

My main motive associated with this diary is to update myself regarding productive activities , random thoughts and ideas , Hobbies or anything that I feel like writing.

Earlier I have a YT Channel to livestream productive activities but replaced with Twitch now. So from Discipline perspective , Going Good from blessings of God , But still there are times I go out of track.

So I am planning to update myself during lone moments trying to reflect what’s happening to me.

The discarded YT Channel will be continued soon. I changed its name to " Some Random Things " because my videos would be random. I like to upload Videos in Social media so I choose YT for that.

https://youtube.com/@risinglion1234

Another reason for this diary is that I am starting my GATE Coaching tomorrow. So I want to be productive asap. I am using Twitch as a motivation to be productive and using this platform to come back on track asap.

These are my thoughts for the time being.

Thank You.

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Planning to update from tomorrow onwards

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18 December 2022

7:00 AM

Woke up at 7 AM . Planning to go to Driving School now

18 December 2022

8.30 PM

After waking up, my dad has gone to hang out with his car , the only way I could reach my driving school is through cycle.

It took me like 30 minutes to reach there. But I was late. There were no one in the driving ground.

I didn’t have a breakfast , so I just had a packet of roasted masala peanuts and 2 bottles of lassi. Despite being unable to do my driving , Had a 1 hr long cycling. A good workout in my opinion.

After having a breakfast from a nearby restaurant , planning to go to Chottanikkara ( An auspicious temple in Kerala ) .

Thats my thoughts for the time being.

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18 December 2022

2:30 PM

Reached home after praying at Chottanikkara. Then gone to lulu mall as my mom said she wants to treat me and my dad for completing her 26 years of professional service.

Christmas is nearing so took a top veiw picture of the decorations inside lulu mall

Inside lulu mall , We went to Paragon hotel but have to wait outside for almost an 1 hour because the seat were filled inside.

After I hour , I ordered Ghee rice and Gobi 65. Currently I am in a watch showroom to replace the old strap of the watch that belongs to my mom.

That’s all my thoughts for the time being

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15 December

8 PM

It took almost like 1.5 hours to replace the strap of my Mom’s watch. In those hours my parents were simply roaming around the mall. I hate window shopping so I thought of staying inside the lens showroom.

I was busy updating the RC app but slowly my Internet connection started getting weak . So I played that Dinosaur game available in Chrome for the time being.

After a few minutes , it was very boring so I decided to roam around the mall alone. I called my parents for the permission but they didn’t receive the call. Anyway I started to roam around the nearby shops around the mall , had a pista kulfi and when I was looking for a washroom , I received a call from a student who was my classmate in my 12th standard.

The name of the guy is Richard and we started a small conversation like his college life etc. Then I got a call from my parent to reach to the lens showroom asap. So I bid farewell to him and took a simple family photo on the topmost floor of the mall

After that had a mango and an orange juice, reach home and had a 1.5 hour nap. Then had ghee rice as dinner while was bought as parcel from nearby hotel.

Now planning to pay the fees for GATE Coaching.

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18 December

9 : 00 PM

I told my parents about paying for the GATE fees but both of them were immersed in the World Cup match. They told they will do it tomorrow.

The penalty shootout by Messi was a quirky move. Anyway planning to complete DSP ( Digital Signal Processing ) and LIC ( Linear Integrated Circuits ) pending work.

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18 December 2022

11 PM

I was unable to control my urges and relapsed. The only strategy I can think of right now is to study downstairs. Anyway studied DSP for 1 hour. Will do LIC tomorrow. Going to sleep asap for damage control.

Productive Activities Done Today

  1. Woke up at 7 AM
  2. Cycling 1 hour
  3. Studied 1 hour

So that marks the end of this day. Good night :sleeping:

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19 December 2022

12 : 30 PM

Making a small apology that I slept at 2 AM. After the relapse I was binging YouTube . Anyway Woke up at 6.30 and was rushing to catch the bus.

Read 30 minutes of Inshorts news inside the bus. Tbh I was feeling very sleepy during regular classes. Bought a cup of tea to cope with it. But it didn’t help.

But when I got some free time , Idk why I cant fall asleep. So I spent reading 5 pages of " My experiments with truth " book by Mahatma Gandhi. I almost completed three fourth of the book.

Had lunch and ready to continue the class.

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19 December 2022

5 : 30 PM

After the previous update , I have got 10 more minutes left for lunch break. Till that point , I was in a situation in which I was tired but unable to sleep at the same time. But in those 10 minutes , I got sleepy and took a small nap. It was refreshing.

That 10 minutes long nap has helped me to endure the next 1 hours lecture. And by God’s grace , I got a free period because the professor was busy correcting the internal exam papers. And man , I slept for 45 minutes like a baby :joy:. I had no idea of what was happening around me that time.

After that I have 30 more minutes left. My dad whatsapped me that he has done all the payments associated with GATE. I was happy and frustrated at the same time. Happy because its my short term goal to get M.Tech in IIT like @Samaranjay , frustrated because I was developing some kind of PTSD associated with it.

My 11th and 12th Standard were some of my darkest days of my life all because of this addiction combined with JEE unnecessary pressure. This GATE is more like JEE - Season 2 for me. I know sometimes I think too much and must move on from this asap.

This frustration has been daunting me for almost an hour. I ate 4 samosas and 1 vada to cope up with my pent up anger.

On my way from college to home , I was completing all the legal procedures associated with joining GATE Coaching online. Now I can start my GATE Practice from now on.

On reaching home , polished the shoes. Now planning to do leg , calves and glutes workout. Will start that when any one of my parents reach home. After that iron the shirt and pants for tomorrow.

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Well it was never my goal :joy:.
But since you are in Computer Science doing Mtech from IITs will be of hugeeeeee benefit.

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Samaranjay never set goals , Goals set Samaranjay :sunglasses:

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:joy::joy: being a mechanical engineer I aimed for Gate just to get into Public Sector job. I am still pursuing that but the recruitment process is too slow. A lot of patience required.

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It’s that slow that next year’s gate is within 40 days and I am still not settled :slightly_smiling_face:

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That’s terribly slow :sweat_smile:. I hope you have some backup plans other than this.

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No video in your channel
@Risinglion123

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Its you right?

You are a real hero…:slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face::blush:

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Earlier I had some videos of me Studying, working out etc but those activities are now replaced by Twitch

Yes

Thank you so much . May I know why do you feel so :sweat_smile:

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Nope. There are actually a lot of public sector companies and chances are bright if you are in top 500. It just requires time and patience.

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Cuteness overloaded!!! :heart::heart:

Hope you guys always live happily!

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