Thanks; i will keep that in mind.
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I think that is your agenda.
Bhai remember to chill, yaar. 
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My wife used to say in the beginning that she is very lucky that she found husband like me.
After my last relapse her trust on me is broken. Now she say… i wish i had never married you.
Never fap to porn.
DAY 8 HARD MODE
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Hug her and promise her that you will never ever fap. Give her a gift of 90 days streak. 
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Did you ever ask her, what is it about you that she likes?
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She said that i am intelligent & good looking.
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VERY BAD DAY
Anger,
Hatred,
Insecurity,
& Loss of peace inside me. The weakness inside me is making my life tough. I am having a very bad day. Negativity gets heavy on us when we are weak. When peace of body is lost, it cant think straight.
Too much negative thoughts.
Less Confidence & nervouseness.
Positive messages from fellow companions gives me some relief. Thank god… i got this app. No real friends i got in real world. Pity !
DAY 9 HARD MODE
Man, that’s sad to hear… man…
What the hell are you doing… bro… Man, gear the fuck up brother… I dare you to fap again… and I will come to your house and beat the shit out of you…
Are you a man…?? Where is the proof…??
Prove yourself by crossing the limits… no questions asked…
You keep on motivating us, with different post, pictures… but why would we listen to you…???
Bang your head against the wall… And promise yourself that you will not fap… Write everywhere in the wall… I WILL NOT FAP …
Show your wife… what you are capable of… So that she can take back her words…
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Thanks babi… i am working on our relationship. It is good now. Building the Trust again … takes time.
Back to progress
Before relapsing i was planning to switch from walking to running but it didnt happen. But i kept my morning walks regularly. Now on 10th day… i run … i made 2 sprints…and it felt great to sweat it out in chilly winter breeze.
The sprint opened my body and the sweat made my skin young again. No need of face wash. Heeeheee.
DAY 10 HARD MODE
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Yesterday i didnt took my sleeping pill. As it was already reduced to its lowest dose last month. Next step was to take it on alternate days. But due to relapse the step was incomplete. Thank god… i am back with my streak & now its time for total quit of drugs.
I had good sleep. My legs were hurting due to sprinting in morning that i did for 2 days. She gave me a good massage on legs. It eased the pain. My relationship is also improving now as i am going strong in my streak. I never want to relapse again.
The new experience of drug free is awesome. I have become more fast & aware. Less brain fog. Now, i wanna give my all to my studies. I want to crack a gov. Exam next year so that i can be proud of myself. When somebody asks me what you do ? I feel ashamed as my classmates are all working & i am still fapping & wasting my life. I want to change my life completly. I am going to work very hard towards my goals. I have already started my studies but i got bored & exhausted soon. After afternoon, i start watching smartphone. I want to give my all to the studies. I believe that we have to sacrifice our entertainment time if we wanna achieve our dream jobs.
Lets go for the kill. Ahhhoo.
DAY 12 HARD MODE
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Night of Horror
A day before yesterday,
It was the Alternate day of quitting the drug process. I was lying down to sleep… suddenly hiccups started… it continued for several minutes… it made me take the pills… then… the hiccups stopped.
Today, i didnt took any drug… i slept for 3 hours… i awoke at 2 am in the night. The sounds were very loud. It was strange. I was full of fear… i go to bathroom to pee. Then, when i tried to sleep again. My breathing was not normal. I started to get panic… as something was choking me… i rushed towards the kitchen & took my sleeping dose. Then, all things settles down.
These incidents made me think that quitting is not that easy. Its more difficult than stopping fapping. The change in brain chemistry makes me go anxious. I have decided that i would try again in 5 days. I am very depressed about it. It makes me irritable. I must risk all if i am going to get out of these shity drugs. Life has become very tough. Lets focus on good things.
DAY 15 HARD MODE
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Boon OR Bane
I was solving my maths problems. Questions on finding remainders of an equation were giving me headaches. As i am doing self study so i was stuck in one concept & no help. Then, i opened youtube and found the lectures on the topic on which i was having problems. The teachers were giving short cut methods to solve a 10 minute question into 3 seconds. It cleared my all doubts. I was realy thankful to the internet.
Before i used to watch youtube for big ■■■ & boobs which was a self destruction. Now, i am using youtube for my life goals. For my better life. So, i realized that internet can be used for life betterment by a wise people & the same internet can be used by a fapper to destroy his life.
To better life or to destroy it… the option is in your hands. Choose wisely.
DAY 16 HARD MODE
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Those feelings are hard to explain
Last year i had quited my sleeping drugs for 4 months straight. During those days… i had a streak of 30 days on hard mode. Today i remember those days. They were incredible. When you get those feelings back after a gap of 10 years, how would you feel ?
You go crazy… right with joy.
Life blossom into a beautiful flower when we have a pure body without under toxic influence of drugs, alcohol or tobacco. I remember it clearly… the food never felt so tasty… the water was like bliss… the pure energy of excitement… the energy to run … & laugh like a kid… to dream … the crystel clear dreams which rewires our brain… the confidence from greater awareness. I miss those days…
Tonight i am going drug free. Another shot at glory. I want those feelings & pure emotions back in my life.I want to be alive again.
DAY 18 HARD MODE
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Add me to this forum
Sharing code : f222iq
I don’t know whether it works on everyone or not
But an app has helped me a lot in my sleep
Relax Music
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.deepsleep.sleep.soft.music.sounds
Specially
2nd music Bamboo flute is my favourite
close your eyes before listen
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This is far better than sleeping pills. Humans do not need pills.
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I run two groups not this forum 