Resurgent Success Journals

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Day 30
walking distance increased… now i dont feel shame in who i am… i want to fly with my wings wide open in the sky.

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DAY 33 My Defeat

I breaked down in front of sexual thoughts. I yielded to their suggesstions. I put the words in search box and watched hot videos. Then i stoped. As i goes to bed for sleeping. The thoughts become more aggressive and it was very hard to shut their mouth. I again took to their suggesstions. Went to bathroom and watched more videos. Then masturbated and ejaculated. I relapsed 2 times after that. … a total of 3 orgasms.
Today at day 0 i am feeling the effects. My all energy is gone… a little bit of rewiring is left with me. Sleeping dose has been increased … again to 1/2 of the dose.

I am ready to fight again for my freedom

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Day 1 Only Wiring has left

Today i went outside for walking as it was in my routine. Thanks to the 32 days streak… i was normal outside… but i felt i have lost big power. I am not the half man i used to be before when i was on the streak. I was not enjoying … i was just pushing my dead body along the road. Now, i will keep my routine which i had build on the streak… and work my way back again… to move forward in life. The thrist for Hard Mode has ignited again. I am looking forward to achieving great heights of joy in my life.

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@Sahas why are you giving up in front of urges. If you’ve extreme urges then why you don’t tell about it to your partner, I think she surely help you and if you want to give up then why you don’t sex with your partner atleast it make more sense than this shit.

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She was not at home & she is not interested in my stories anymore because it has been 2 years… she has watched me fail again & again. So many promises broken. She thinks … i am forever doomed and can never get out of this addiction circle. Well ! I have to prove many people wrong including my mind.

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Well , in this situation you’ve to prove yourself bro and I know that oneday you and me will get out of this addiction because it’s just a dark night , a bright day is waiting for us…so don’t lose hope. We will get up and win this battle :crossed_swords::crossed_swords::crossed_swords: we’re warriors and warriors won’t give up until their death.

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Sahas, first of all, congratulations on making your personal best of 32 days on hard mode. Not all progress will be lost with this new streak. :muscle:t5: :facepunch:t5:

I will not dwell on the negatives; you know very well how much your life will be improved when PMO is behind you. That is why we are all here.

You have been a powerful voice of encouragement and support in this community. People have reached their highest ever streaks in groups you have created. We are watching and waiting eagerly for that day when we see Leonidas next to a huge 90-day reboot sign!

It’s time to give it everything you have. No excuses. Find the root cause that has kept bringing you back to PMO and remove it. Make a vision of your life of freedom and reflect on it daily. That name…Resurrection…Resurgent…It’s time to be reborn!

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Thanks @Forerunner for your support & motivation.

Yes, 32 days streak benefits me a lot. I had Rewired myself. From staying at home all days to daily going outside, i have changed a lot. Now, although i had 3 orgasms but i am going outside daily… the habits which i had built are with me.

I know what i have lost … and this understanding of loss is further motivating me to do hard mode for all my life. I have hit a jackpot during my streak… i have tasted powers of Brahmacharya/ hard mode. I want more & more now. I am ready to fight for my better life until death.

From now, sky is the limit… i am ready to fly.

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Tantra Sex NSFW WARNING

For 2 months my wife is at her house. I am bringing her back this monday. I lost an oppurtunity of doing a Reboot… thats not a new story. I am planning to do a holy ritual this monday… its called tantra sex.

I would do sex with her for 3 hours without ejaculation. I had done it before . But that was not planned. Why i am doing this ? To get free from this lust & pleasure & to gain her energy. It sounds weird but its true. I had experienced tremendous Rise in my Energy Levels from practising Tantra Sex. Its like opening your Base Chakra. Plus when you do the act for long hours… … you can understand sex mechanism completly. There is a chance that you can free yourself from hypnosis of Women/opposite sex. It is going to help … further in my journey…

I am going to Edit this post on Tuesday.

Tuesday Day 7
Previous night … i performed Tantra sex. I dont want to write here… the details because it may Trigger someone. Just i will tell the basic details. During 1st hour … she was screaming with pain … plus she was enjoying… Next hour … She was completly exhausted… as she had her orgasms… she was hesitant in changing positions… she kept saying… STOP… you are going to kill me… and i look at the clock… it was 11 pm… we begun the act … at 9 pm… i said… one more hour … this time … she pushed me away and she took to a corner of bed… she was literaly crying & in fear… she begged me to not go any further. I accepted her as she is not a object for my experiments… i love her… as a human being. We stopped.

I noticed after that and i told her that i have lost all interest in this friction of two bodies… i want my life to be more than just sex… i want real joy in my life and not this fake pleasure…
I told her that next time… we shall do sex when we make our 2nd child. She agreed. She told me that you are a Sexual Beast… With little energy you tear apart me… what if one day you complete your Reboot and you become full of energy ! I fear sex now… i wont do it again. My back is hurting.

The Mantra to perform a Tantra Sex is keeping your breathing normal… Yeah it is a little tricky but with full focus & concentration that becomes easy.

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:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
You are a piece of work!!!

Didnt get your idiom… can you say it … in simple words.

He means you are amazing (at sex)

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DAY 13

I am very happy. My social anxiety is almost gone. I am on brink of quiting sleeping drugs. Brain Fog significantly reduced. Dopamine healing.

:blush:

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This is beautiful! Keep going strong brother! :muscle:t4:

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DAY 14

Rewiring at fast rate. No tension in body.
I can feel myself breathing.
I feel love and negative emotions of other person.
I want my children to grow in atmosphere of love, peace & serenity.

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The Reward

Day 16

When i completed my all tasks… an eruption of euphoria happened. I got energy + euphoria. My dopamine are healing and i am truly Rewiring… Rebooting… and it has begun.

After doing hard work… you get your High… The Reward…From your natural source. … The best feeling in the world… better than orgasm.

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DAY 17

Flatline Balls popping

Today my confidence was low… anxiety was there but i accept it as a part of the process & healing. Some day you wont feel happy & confident … that day … accept yourself… do your work & tasks… this is life… ups & downs… but slowly & steady we move forward…
Flatlines are blessings in disguise… It is where the Healing beguns…
In flatlines… you have to continue your routines and work. Physical excercise helps in boosting your mood.

Ball Popping. This is a new experience. My balls vibrate and pop sometimes… like something is going on in the balls… whatever it is… i leave it to the body. I think its good for me… whatever is happenning. No need to worry. I am in hands of god now.

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How are you doing Resurgent?

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I am feeling Alive Again.

How are you, my friend ?

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DAY 19

Their Eyes are Beautiful

How should i tell you that what is going on in my life… i am relaxed… i have peace & meditation… eyes contact is my new benefit. All of a sudden i am looking at eyes of every human which passes in front of me… it gives me some sort of comfort. I am reading their faces… their emotions… Some Eyes have that sharpness… some eyes are dull… some faces are happy… some are full of fear…

As i am moving outside daily… i am getting used to the crowd & traffic. My focus is on my tasks & i am getting good at everything… like some evolution is going on in me… or my seeds are becoming flowers… sexual transmutation… sounds good.

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