Yeah exactly…
The thoughts of PMO did came up but I ignored those thoughts…
Ohh is it…
Where can I find it…is it available online?
Again…to the point…
This is how I am feeling…no energy for nothing except binge watching…
Yeah…Only way to move ahead is to move that ■■■ up first
Few weeks ago…life was crowded with people and interactions, to the point that it was frustrating…
Now its the complete opposite
Life doesn’t wanna follow a straight simple path
Its my choices that have lead me here…
I could have opted for a place closer to my home…but I chose this place to grow…and I have to live upto that decision…
I am reading the epub version.
Do you know about epub? If not I’ll explain in dms.
I understand this feeling completely .
I had been like this a couple of times.
And I am sure it is gonna turn out to be a good decision, you have to move out at some point. You’ve got this bro, I believe you will manage to turn things positively.
Try having a conference video call like GMeet or a voice call with your friends. If you don’t feel so, then try having a chat conversation with them. They’re for you and won’t show happy faces always, you can be your real you with them Cuz they know everything about you. Literally, everything Also, we miss you here. Especially me and you’re another frand. We’re always meeting and going for doing spiritual activities together. Also, your another spiritual frnd is always asking about you, like how he’s doing and did he settle down… All these… So whenever you feel like you’re missing something… You have this diary and you’re here close and best buddies Appreciate the care from you guys! But we’re also there for you BB sar. Also, guys… We call him “Baburao” that’s his petname Now you know what to do!
Getting to a new place means creating new connections, but that doesn’t mean the ones that I already have would be lost…
Why did I think like this I don’t know…
Its all there…as it is…just not physically…
The connections can be felt beyond physical plane and I forgot that…
Well, I started going to office…and things started improving…
Being surrounded by people, really makes a difference…
So for now, things are starting to go well…
Only thing is I have to sleep on time
Also, no Nightfalls for last 3 weeks…
Just using the good ol method of not letting thoughts dwell in mind…
It works wonders…
19/07/2022
I faced high urges today…and I am alone in a room…
Damn I was not able to work properly…so I took a nap.
There I had a dream where I relapsed…and I was really sad…then I woke up and realized it was a Nightfall…or Afternoonfall ._.
There wasn’t much release…so its alright.
Then I slept again …and had a really bad dream…I almost cried in my dream but then I woke up and was relieved…
After all this chaos, I was finally stable and did my work…
Will try to wake up early tomm…haven’t doing that since few days…
Also, I was thinking of creating a new diary…to get a sense of fresh start…
The journey with this diary was amazing…
I saw lots of changes in me in past 1 year…
I am changing for the better but I feel that I lack discipline…
So a new journey begins to conquer that!
Thanks everyone for being part of my journey in this diary…
Hope to see you in the new one!!
Cuz they know everything about you. Literally, everything 
Hare Krishna 
