I have been watching the progress of a few people under My Companions for motivation and have seen some incredible streaks. Then there are others who relapse and then relapse over and over again in short succession. They don’t make it through a week. I won’t give names or ids, that is not relevant, but what would the reason be for this? I know everyone has different levels of addiction to PMO and coping mechanisms, but is that the only reason? The relapses I am speaking about are the ones where the person seems to become stuck in a cycle of relapses within days of each other and doesn’t progress beyond single digit streaks. I can only imagine how demotivating this must be, but what is actually going on?
I myself am a example of this too.
I relapsed once a day before and then before nofap I remember making a 15 days streak. After knowing nofap, the best streak was 8, and then 3 times 3 days.
Why I did that?
For me, it’s was so much guilty and shame, it was draining my determination for not relapse, making me sad, and the brain will naturally seek by some relief, and guess what, relapse again! so more guilt and shame, feeling down and the cycle continues.
It was even I did not binge on the relapse, but I think if I did that too, could be even worse, because the urges could be much more powerful due the link very active in the brain.
And so I finally get to day 5 now and no significant urges for while. Because my mindset is a bit different now. I don’t wanna be controled by it anymore. PMO is not an option for me anymore.
And even I relapse, I don’t want to be sad anymore, I will just not mind it and will try to maintain my normal routine just keeping PMO things that triggers or saddens me away.
I don’t want to give PMO a piece of my mind anymore.
I will just forget this and focus in live my life.
@sadraw My curiosity about what lies at 90 days is what keeps me on track. I still need to be on my guard 24/7 because one moment I am okay, the next I feel like throwing caution to the wind and jumping back into PMO. When I see guys relapsing, part of me is jealous and wants to do the same. I know it is silly, but its true.
@jtr I really still do not know what 90 days is like, but I think is not so special in that sense of having superpowers.
I think it is more special in the sense that you had finally learned how to live without needing the PMO.
Just think, which relapse you had before was really worth it? Not even one, right? Then, the truth is: Relapsing is never worth it.
So how is the life without that needing to relapse?
Probably a normal one.
It can have sad days? Sure.
It can have happy days? Sure.
It will be just happiness everyday? Maybe not.
Because normal lives are like this.
But one thing is certain: your life WILL be a lot better without that shit PMO.
PMO never do any good. The little pleasure that comes of it is not worth all the suffering that brings atfer, like drugs.
And feeding it just make this worse, each relapse is less pleasure, more suffering.
But without it, we can really enjoy the happiness of life, the simple things that each day brings us, like the warm sun, pretty flowers, beautiful clouds, cute animals, happy faces of people we love, a clear mind, without remorse.
If we think enough, there are so many things in our own lives already that we can be grateful to have.
We will be able to enjoy these simple things even more intense, much better that sad, artificial, destructive, empty PMO things.
So, what I really want to focus now is not just “not to relapse”, but focus “living my life”, because it will give me the reasons for not give up.
Hits the nail right on it’s head.