Relapsed :( These are some of my takeaways

Fuck, cant believe I relapsed after 17 days. Once again, porn and edging prove there is no point return after you open a porn site and you are isolated, there is just way too much stimulation and dopamine for our dumb brains to handle.

So, we need to treat merely opening a porn site just as we treat relapsing, we need to look at the thought of “lets watch a vid or 2” as “if we do that, we lose, we will relapse, if you open this site, its over”.
Because once you open it, and you start at with a vid or 2, it will quickly be you just brain-deadly looking at thumnails, and than you will find that super hot girl which is just your type, and blow to her pixels, waking up the next day depressed and ashamed. And if you somehow didnt jacked off, you will end up bing watching porn for 4 hours, and than masturbate at your next urge.

So I have some keys that helped me to be succsesfull to almost 100 streak, which is another story. I am not sure this will be something new, but i am sure it will be a good memory refreshing and thought put to words for some of you.

Keys to succeed -

  1. At ALL COSTS avoid porn, as we said, merely opening it is a guarnteed lose, dont OPEN IT.
    Opening porn = relapse.

  2. Minimum isolation, espiaclly at night, just go to sleep or something, meditate and release tensions, the worst thing you can do is lying at night, or worse lying at night with your phone.

  3. Start each day with a short mental preparation;

If you know you have a lot of free time at night, be prepared try use it for something usefull.
If u know u tend to relapse at the shower, be prepared and make it short.
If you know you tend to jack after a night at a bar when you didnt got lucky, be prepared, avoid it.

Once you are prepared for those moments, and you dont allow the urge spark to become a flame(key numb 4), you will easily move past them.
Be prepared.

  1. Try and identify urges small. See their baby steps toward trying and fucking you up, and kill it.
    Dont wait until you are too stimulated, kill and switch the thought once its small, and its just an early stage of urge - “amm maybe ill watch a vid…?” and not a late “ye fuck everything lets watch a vid” urge.
    Another early stage classic brain lie is - “maybe i’ll search for a fettish I thought of lately, out of cURiOuSiTy”.
    Kill it while its early.

  2. Strong urge? Meditate, Go for a walk, a workout, a cold shower, sit with your family, do SOMETHING, please do SOMETHING. Staying in the same spot, having the same thoughts, will lead you to an hard, sad and miserable relapse. :frowning:
    When it goes down, do SOMETHING.

So I am going up to my next streak, and this is gonna be my highest streak, I will survive those 90+ days until 2021, and further more!

I need this, for myself, my family and my future.

Wishing all of you strength, brothers and
sisters, and that together we will be better human beings!

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I too relapsed today after a streak of 14 days just bcz i thought 1 vid won’t hurt right. And after that was filed with nothing but guilt.
Thanks for sharing these points i really appreciate them

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The moment of orgasm is not relapse. This is a fundamental thing that we get wrong bro on NoFap, the point of orgasm is not what I’m trying to stay away from, it is the act of doing and seeing itself. The hormones and brain damage is happening while masturbation, while fantasising, while looking at pictures. That is when the damage happens.
Many of us try to stay away from the point of orgasm itself because it is a tipping point or finishing point. This is where the mentality “one pic won’t hurt” or “one touching won’t hurt comes from.” It is actually the touching or just seeing that releases dopamine in the brain. This is what we are trying to stay clean from. We donot avoid edging or touching or peeking because they may lead to relapse , we stay the fuck away from them because THEY ARE THE FUCKING RELAPSE!!! In truth, peaking and edging is what we are addicted to and what we are trying to stay clean from.

Realise this important concept guys. This is vital. PM is the drug. Stay the hell away.

This is a very smart perspective, thank you. I’ll remmeber that for sure.

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Yeah I feel really concerned when people say “don’t peek or you will relapse” or “touching is ok as long as we dont relapse” etc. bro, i feel if we have that mentality, we will never fully overcome this addiction. We have to learn exactly what pmo does to the body and brain, like point to point scientific analysis. It will take a lot of time and effort, I am in the process, I’m sure it’ll be worth it. We must not rely on half-truths or half-learning or misconceptions or just intuition or just instinct, unbacked by logic and fact.

Intuition tells us that the moment of relapse is what is harmful for us, because it is after the orgasm we feel down,sad,pain etc. and we believe peeking and edging is ok as long as they don’t lead to this “relapse” point. That way of thinking is plain wrong. We should all educate ourselves. :smile::smile:

Well, 1 vid of graphic content can even be in a movie, and I do not count just being there and watching as a relapse.

Likewise I do not count falling to entering a P site, and than very fast getting your mind together and quitting it, as a relapse. Although, you MUST never even open it, because it is never 1 video, never. From my own and others experiences, when you open a P vid you are 99% going to watch more, and THAT is a relapse.

See, everybody has bumpers on the roads, and if we treat all bumpers as pushbacks right to the beginning, we will be very discouraged. We need to be strong, avoid those bumpers at all costs, and if we did encounter 1, win him over with will power and strength.

About NoF as a sciene - while I do agree that we need to educate ourselfs, and I myself been researching, learning and experimanting for about 2 years, I strongly believe that this is an indivudual path that one must walk. One person can experience succses with a textbook NoF methods, and the other with a whole other not that scientific methods. There are some universal truths and facts, those of course everybody in my opinion need to learn
Also there is a lot to learn from one another, but every person is individual, and he must walk his own path and fights.

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Okay Nashma!! Get ready and brace your self.

I am impressed by your 17 days streak and guess what i was going to watch some porn before sleeping now but instead of that i am texting you, Do this whenever you feel urge, I was also going to watch it but i resist and now i can sleep peacefully.

And do whatever you like which gives you same feeling and dont be isolated, Stay with your mom in kitchen or with dad when he is doing work. Every morning wake up early and do vipassana meditation in which you have to concentrate on your every inhalation and exhalation. It will increase your concentration and whenever urge strikes always think of your future the better version of you and the another dimension’s Nashma, well you have to do a lot coz you are not Rick with a portal roaming in other dimensions.

So i hope you have learned something, but i know you knew it already.

And yes!!! Good night from India :heart::om:

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Agreed bro. My point was not that we should reset the counter every single time we see a picture intentionally or otherwise :smile:.
Just that consciouly edging or peaking without touching is what is bad and it is wrong to think that as long as you don’t get to orgasm, everything is fine.
This journey is about teaching your brain not to feel pleasure from fake and instant gratification.

Obviously, I did not mean we should take it as a relapse every single time a trigger comes in front of us or a scene comes on a movie. In that instant, we must take a conscious decision we WILL not take pleasure from it, that’s all. Just know that even that gives you a tiny shot of dopamine and leave you wanting more, we can always choose to redirect that wanting in our own way. If we do that long enough, we can force our brains to change for the better ie total reboot.

You’re on the right track. Keep moving, stay strong!

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And remember Excessive Domamine burns the frontal lobe of brain with furious neurochemical reactions and also destroys the Neuromuscular junctions. Well, I am in 10th grade, I only know this.

If you want to recover start writing on daily basis, do some thing creative and stop that auto typing in smartphone. Which will enable you to do your work on your own basis and will also imcrease your brain activity.

Ok brother bye and good night, i have to sleep bcoz i have my 10th boards exams

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Yes, not always we can avoid all, sometimes its merely a cute girl passing by that triggers us, and not a big bang graphic content, but it is our choice, to be strong and rise, and keep moving forward.

Thanks, be strong my brother!

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Wish I was familiiar with this muchr information at your age, you are on a very good path.

Keep going and be strong brother, good night.

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Hey Brother, I have been trying to get a good streak for a long time, before I had my current 58 days of Hard Mode streak.

I think, we need to stop taking the problem lightly. I suggest you stop using social media for some time or clean it up if you have to use it.

Stop taking your phone to the bathroom and identify and avoid the spots in the house where you mostly indulge in porn.

Forget watching, just look away if you see something provoking accidentally.

Take it as a challenge or a task you would get in school/college/work, plan for it.

  • Respect to my fellow Nofapper