Relapsed and have no hope

Hello,
I just relapsed.
I don’t know what to do. How to overcome this. I tried everything, both physical, psyhical, emotional and technological. Nothing works.

I really need to finish this but I don’t know how! I can’t get past 5 days.
My girlfriend counts on me. I want to marry her, whereas I know there is no option to enter marriage with PMO.

God, please help me…

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When no fap becomes a question of Death or Life… when your whole existance is in jeopardy … When there is no option left… When you start begun to cry like crazy after a Relapse… when you find no joy in porn & orgasm… Then … There opens a Door.

You devlope a Will power which comes from understanding & misery of earlier experiences…
You start walking the highest path… Yet God will Test You… but this time … You know yourself… that You are Ready for freedom

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When you give up, then there is no hope. But until then you are your own hope. Understand that if you would only dedicate yourself 100% you could do it. You can try all the things in the world to beat this addiction but if you do not have the dedication it will not work for you. If you are a believer in Jesus I recommend to get in your knees and pray for deliverance. Stay strong bro. May God bless you.

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JESUS IS THE HOPE EVERY HUMAN HAVE…
JOIN “TITANS” in forum

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Know this, whenever you tell yourself that I have to do this only one more time, just this once, then remember, it will never end there, there will always be a new reason, there will always be a new purpose for relapsing and you probably won’t see it coming, but if you are care full and observe your own behaviour then maybe you won’t see it coming still but in the heat of the moment you’ll know that even if you quit now there is still a chance for you to break you habit, be free.

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Sorry to read this man. Sometimes a shift in perspective helps getting motivation again. Do that by changing your approach. Just know, there’s something you haven’t tried yet. There’s some mistake that you are doing.

I really recommend you check out Recovered Man Episode 127 and also Recovered Man Episode 128. I remember when I was stuck in the early beginning of my nofap journey, couldn’t get past some certain barrier. At least it seemed so. Those two episodes will give you instructions on how to create a plan that’s pretty solid and go from there. The plan improves and you’ll have a better strategy.

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It sucks and feels hopeless, but you’re at this forum seeking assistance so there’s still some hope left.

There’s a lot packed in here. Are you having trouble with abstaining from viewing porn or masturbation, or both? And what have you tried, specifically?

One quick suggestion might be to install a porn-filter app on the devices you use to access porn and hide the password so you can’t unlock it.

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Thank you all. I gor better. I think many or all of you could feel the emotion of despiar and no hope after relapse. Especially when you were commited, thought that last one was the last etc. My emotions concuered me for that time. It is shitty feeling. You feel worthless.

Yet it is a lie. I have a value. I am not a trash. I did no evil to anyone expect myself.
Ok, it is a sin. Yet Jesus died for me and took all my sins.
Yes, it is a destroyer of relationships. Yet, my girlfriend is amazing, understanding and supporting as I would not imagine for myself.
Yes, my counter was reset, testosterone droped, self-esteem got worse.
Yet, there is another day. Much support. New chances. This is not an end of the world.

Thinking about it only in negative is a devil’s trap to stay in that condition.

I get up from my knees. The one who loses is the one who stops fighting, not the one who was beaten once or twice.
I will win.
I have huge support.
I count on myself.
She counts on me.
HE counts on me.
I have victory in Christ, because he has already won.

Thank you, guys.
I promise to have no more breakdowns, ever again. And support you all on your roads.

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I had double app blocks. But I found out an easy way to turn them off.
The same for blocks on my computer. Eventually you will find a way.

Either you throw away all electronics or focus on strenghtening your mind. Blocks can help but will not be a perfect solution.

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Very true! However, one must be in harmony with their intentions to resist PMO in order for the app blocks to work effectively.

This is a false dichotomy because there’s a third course of action: strengthen one’s mind through the use of electronics. For example, the Rewire Companion app is useful and instrumental in my own journey to resist PMO. Insight Timer, an app I use to keep track of my daily meditation routine, is another useful app.

Think of a “perfect” solution and there will always be a counterexample that disqualifies it. For example, it’s like assuming that bulletproof vests will make the wearer impervious to bullets, but it doesn’t. It provides a level of protection, but it doesn’t provide 100% protection. With porn blockers, it provides a level of resistance, but it doesn’t (and was never meant to) provide 100% resistance.

You still haven’t given any specifics as to what you meant by “I tried everything, both physical, psyhical, emotional and technological. Nothing works.”, so it’s hard to see what would help you more effectively than porn blockers or prayers to the divine. In any event, I wish you the best of luck!

Cytat This is a false dichotomy because there’s a third course of action: strengthen one’s mind through the use of electronics.

I thought I was doing this. By preventing myself from access to the P I wanted to clear my mind to prepare it for creating a powerful mind. However I would need to have no access at all to success. It is impossible. What is the use of your blocks when you can easly get around your protection? My urges are strong and when activated, they push aside all my sense.

Cytat With porn blockers, it provides a level of resistance, but it doesn’t (and was never meant to) provide 100% resistance.

Then what is it for? If I can turn it off by a few clicks, how does that help me? On the other hand, they boost up my excitement about looking at P, so it is even worse.
I will keep my blocks of course, because they prevent me from many things, not only from P.

I just realized one thing - my porn blockers also block my access from any time-consuming shitty websites like Reddit. And I don’t have urges to overcome my blocks to get to Reddit - it works only with P. So firstly I should decrease the power of P-Urges, so that I won’t need to fight with my blocks.

Cytat You still haven’t given any specifics as to what you meant by “I tried everything, both physical, psyhical, emotional and technological. Nothing works.”…

Ok, here is a list for you:

  1. Blocks on my computer and phone
  2. I got rid of my computer and damaged the software on my phone so I could not use it to surf Internet
  3. Have a few accountability partners who I talk with and receive support from them
  4. Listed down my values, reasons, dangers, chances etc. connected with P
  5. Prayed - a lot
  6. Tried different substances to normalize my urges and dopamine level (I just did not use drugs from a doctor yet - It is a finality)
  7. At some point I stopped doing sex with my previous girlfriend (with my current, we are waiting with that for the marriage)
  8. Tried changing my habits ex. put away my phone when I am at home
  9. Created some rules for ex. “Don’t take phone to the toilet” - never worked during urge.
  10. Tried to motivate myself many times whenever I did not felt the urge - so I would win when one comes.
  11. Tried hypnosis - doesn’t work on me
  12. Tried mindfulness - but I did not persevere in that.

What else do you suggest?

Heres the truth, you can be successful with or without technology as long as you have 100% dedicated yourself. I used to think that I needed to stay off technology too because it was making me relapse, it wasn’t. I was making me relapse.

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TLDR

Ditch everything
“he who holds onto his life, looses it” ~ Jesus

Forget it all.
Take out the garbage.


I’ve been what you’re going through,
and I’m kind of going through it right now too, except I haven’t wasted my “life juice”

I strongly suggest avoiding details, accuracy etcetera…
our thoughts; become, grow within.

So seriously, let go of it all. Everything.
It is just you and God :pray:

“Thoughts, feelings & ideas” are only small parts of ourselves.

We also touch, taste, smell, see, breathe, pump blood through our system.
Ie; we are not our thoughts

There is so much hope, once we stop creating more garbage to tackle.

To Fap or NoFap is the only question. what is your decision?

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When we eat, walk, drive, we do not think.

We’ve practiced them many times.
So to with NoFap, we need to practice for a few weeks before it becomes nature.

I suggest easy mantras ;
My favourite is “why do I want to torture myself?”

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If that person can “easily get around,” then maybe they aren’t being realistic about being PMO-free. No porn blocker, or any other intervention for that matter, could help. That person has to have a conversation with themselves, not with anyone or anything else, but with themselves about being PMO-free in the most honest way possible.

If you can turn off the blocker as easily as turning off a light switch, then it’s pretty useless. However, I would suggest this: the porn blocker that you use should be one that requires password-protection in order to access the app’s controls for turning it on/off. Input a random password but don’t write it down so you can’t gain access to turn the app on/off.

They say that if one wants to overcome a habit, replace it with another habit. So, perhaps some physical exercise could be added to your list. What are your hobbies? Perhaps during this time, you could invest more rigor into your hobbies or pick up a new hobby. I found #12 on your list to be very effective for me - the form I practice is Samatha meditation. In my previous relapses, I never used any meditation, but this time I did and it makes all the difference. I practice at least 5 minutes every day so it turns into a habit. I just close my eyes and breathe - I imagine exhaling the PMO urges out of me.

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What is the use of a password if you are able to disable blocker? That’s the problem. There is no P blocker which I could not turn off. You can trus me, I tried many.

Also, I had both exercises (gym, dancing, ice skating) and hobbies, which does not change anything with my fight with addiction.

Today is my fourth consecutive day of fapping. And I ejaculated which is unusual for me because most of the time I fap and reach the peak without ejaculation (I am stopping it from getting out). If I do so, it means nothing matters for me…

This is bad. But today I made a plan to change that. The truth is that I have to:

  • be radical
  • be motivated
  • be prepared

I will test the plan for 14 days. Also I will prepare everything before start of the plan. If it works, I will share it here.

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Not sure if you actually read my previous post regarding this, but I already gave an answer. I’ll leave this be.

In any event, you and I have reached an impasse in conversation. This is about you, so if you believe porn blockers are useless just because it can be turned off, then nothing that anyone tells you will ever change your mind. At this point in your recovery, it’s about having an honest conversation with realistic expectations with yourself first. There’s more that could be said, but I’ll leave this be as well.

Good luck!

First thing you must do is realize that you are the one that have control of your actions and that your brain doesn’t control you , you control it and it has to follow your commands.
Second if you are a competitive person like me turn nofap into a challenge. For example the first 7 days of my nofap challenge I’m going to just resist the urges. Than my next 7 days I will make the challenge even harder; like I will start taking multivitamin s every day that week WARNING MULTIVITAMINS MAKE YOU HAVE MORE URGES because of the energy it will give you. Than I will limit myself to only 7 videos a day on YouTube the 3rd week and keep finding ways to challenge myself.
My motivation for this challenge is based off of an anime character named Rock Lee you may know the anime name but I won’t say it because I don’t want to get copyrighted.

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Hola probando probando im fluent spanish