Relapse: To want to or because of an urge?

I feel that this should be a topic to consider.

Because I have experienced both.

Most of the time it is due to urge, but today and rarely do I see my self forcing a relapse to happen as if I want it or need it.

I understand that a change in mindset can work here.

Tell me your thoughts.

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Obviously, I’m new here, and wanted to discuss the same issue. I have found, that I don’t do it because of urge now(it’s been 5 years), and now it’s just because I want to…just because I do that…I mean what does that mean, right? It’s like it has become a kind of hobby?
Now what I have seen here is that, I do it, when I have nothing to do…like I don’t do anything productive and it just happens…and if there was other me ,he would surely think, this is purely pathetic of me.
So now I’m here thinking, that what if somebody challenges me to it… whenever I received a challenge…more like a promise(which obviously I think is beneficial for me) I have done quite well and now I’ve come here using this app timer as a challenge. So let’s see where the journey takes me.

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@Archmatrix

First, welcome to the community.

2nd, thanks for your answer.

Some people here do great with their streaks and some people like me struggle s lot. I literally relapse every 2 days and trying to find a way out of my cycle.

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Oh, well can ya tell me your longest streak?

4 days is my longest.

Mine is 7 days(dramatic pose):grin:

@Vortexkicker even the people who do great with their streak were once the ones who used to relapse dayly. But they didn’t give up!

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I’m not giving up. I’m just having massive difficulty.

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I think in order not to relapse, or to relapse less often you need to set a definite goal in your mind and stick with it no matter what. I been trying to do that with some sucess. When I forget about my goal I relapse every couple days.

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I relapsed yesterday after 19 days and I came here because I was having urges. One thing I have learned from The Easy Peasy Way is that porn and masturbation is not a hobby. It does not need to be replaced. You have nothing to lose from quitting. All you are doing is ridding yourself of a horrible disease. I remember when I relapsed yesterday I felt horrible. It did not feel good, the only good feeling I felt was the relief of my withdrawal pangs. But those withdrawal pangs would have gone away with time if I didn’t give in. It is all an illusion. PMO is an illusion. It tries to make you think you have something to gain, but you don’t. I will keep trying not to fall for this illusion trap. Even the smartest person can fall for a trick, but he would be dumb to fall for it again once he realizes it is a trap. I relapsed because I wasn’t observant. I didn’t notice the hole that I was about to fall into by peeking at porn. Remember we all started with just one peek. Just one peek is never an option. Hope this helps. Also thanks for this thread since it just saved me from another relapse.

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This is the problem, we have short memory and forget how crappy we feel after relapsing. When the urges come we just think of how good it will be to satisfy them and that’s it without remembering the consequences. I kept falling into that trap myself. I told myself “one more time” hundreds (if not thousands) of times but kept going back to my old ways. Decided to really change my life this year with God’s help. I can’t live like this… :flushed:

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Same here, you are not alone. We just need to remember the illusion and not get tricked again.

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