you guys do You think relapse cuz of sex counts?
looking forward to hearing your advice
NO, this app is for getting rid of pmo addiction, not s*x. A pmo addict generally should not count sex as a relapse. Only if you are doing hard mode, you will have to count as per the definition. Sex is not the best thing, but it is far far better than pmo. We should rise one step at a time. The choice depends on whether one is predominantly in the mode of ignorance or passion or goodness. Wherever one is, he should start from there and evolve. Evaluate yourself and take your own decision.
I want to do hard mode for many days because I find it the best solution for me.
Best of luck!
Let me clear your confusion; sex is a RELAPSE on any day.
But if you are doing it as a duty towards your wife; without you having orgasm; without any lust. Then; its not.
Is sex one of your problems? Did you have sex out of love or out of a need for pleasure?
Sorry my friend but you are wrong about sex & Love
SEX & LOVE can never happen at the same time.
Meditation can happen during sex but not love. Actualy the more you have expression of love the far you goes away from sex.
What are you talking about. I don’t know how you meditate and how you have sex but for me, you can’t be farther away from truth.
For me, meditation is a state, where I’m completely aware of my presence. I let my thoughts and all the problems from the day pass and acknowledge my being. -> It is something where I’m aware of myself (I’m pretty sure there are forms of meditation out there where you become aware of your surrounding)
Love is something where you are aware of your partner and how his/her mind converges with yours. It’s the feeling of having a person who is always there for you -> you need 2 person for love.
If I meditation during sex, I would focus on how I feel, on my presence and thoughts with neglecting my partner. Which is the worst thing you can do during sex.
Love and sex on the other hand can be connected. It is the feeling of a mental and physical convergence.
That’s why i don’t wanna have edging sex. Because I think that happens when you look at sex like meditation.
I respect your point of view but i beg to differ.
Love takes you far away from sex. Sex is just an animal instinct. Love sets you free.
I think this topic should be closed/locked now.
That’s quite a powerful idea about self control.
But please tell me the wisdom, I need to know why the no-orgasm would be your definition of love and thus not sex? Also related to the previous question, but I need to emphasize the point that was asked, why does orgasm would be defined pejoratively low as animal act, but not the intercourse?
I never said so.
I said if you are doing sex as a duty towards your wife its not a relapse provided you didnt orgasm.
Now; to explain it simply.
Lets say your wife want to have sex with you and you are on hard mode then; if you can satisfy her sexual desire or pleasure without making yourself fall to senses. You are good because your conscience is clear. You did this as a merely act… or duty. By not having orgasm you proved it.
When she say its over… you stop having sex. That is self control.
Doing sex with mindfulness allows you to separate yourself from lust. When you have clear thoughts in your head that… i am doing it for her… not for me. Sets you free from the act itself.
Actualy the man who is involved in pleasuring himself can not love others because his body is not balanced. His energy is not balanced. He is weak. Fear & negative emotions become his friends. He procrastinate. He is brain fogged all the time.
He cannt help others because he is insecure in his life. He is filled with hatred & anger. Agitation & anxiety are results of orgasm.
Wow, I am so interested in the concept. Here’s my thought btw.
Your 1st answer:
It’s so great that as if you’re describing a super saint. I would very much aspire to reach that state of mind. Its too far to achieve for me at the moment. But regardless of the concept, considering to your hard mode, doesn’t the intercourse act itself defeat the hard mode? No matter mind control is, youre physiologically infusing the dopamine, unless if you’re already the saint which maybe would be a different experience. Correct me if I’m wrong, that’s so close to nirvana, but a recent addict is still early in the journey to achieve that, wouldn’t you think?
I can’t really have any response to this. as it’s very much about me. I would say I’m so into myself. I like to make me feel comfortable, now not with PMO, but with anything else. Im so depressed, some days I took coffee, yesterday I wasted my time on screen. I would eat a lot every day. Today I am still considering how to deal with this depression
Maybe I need to start to give some illuminative thoughts on this, or maybe you could share some of yours
I cant say man because… i never had nirvana. I am also in the process. They say there are 3 stages of the whole process. Before these 3 stages there is a rise of power inside you. You no longer walk but you run now. You dance & indulge in emotion of love.
A zero forms inside you. Zero = silence. You keep on working but there is always a calmness inside you. You do your work as duty & detach yourself from it. The silence keep on growing. You become more stable & grounded. You become Fearless. Your meditation become powerful. You can mediate while doing work & with eyes wide open. Your memory has become powerful. You can easily recall your whole life moments. You become fully present in the moment 24×7.
The zero keeps on growing. You suddenly gets a feeling like some lightening has struck you from inside.Your focus & concentration reaches to its peak level. You are in meditation while in your sleep also. You are awake all the time. Your energy is huge which knows no exhaustion limits. You start unlocking your other levels of mind. You can control your wetdreams because you are awaken in your subconcious now. Your memory has become superconscious now. You can recall memory of your ancestors. Your awareness reaches to its peak. You can see; smell & hear more than ordinary humans.
you have fully become one with the almighty. The fruit has ripened & ready to fall from the tree. No more process . The sun inside rises & it never goes down. You have a source of energy which is infinity. You never get tired. You get answers to your all questions. That is nirvana. The spiritual masters said so.
Do you ever had any training or do you know any resources that I can learn from the web?
I think I need to know the ways or steps to achieve that. What you mentioned I think is more like phases of the mind
I learned about it from the audio files of osho.
You can find it on youtube.
@Resurrection and @neveragaintw I read both of your points and all I can say is one thing. Cultural difference.
I am a student of cross cultural studies and have studied the dimensions by which different cultures are defined (10 dimensions).
It simply says that you don’t have to agree with others culture, but you should expect there culture.
As both of you has different perspective towards sex and relationships, which is bound to happen, no one is wrong here.
That’s what I will suggest you guys. You don’t have to agree with there culture, but it doesn’t mean you should enforce your own.
This really is something I wasn’t aware off for a long time.
i was raised in the believe that there are “right” and “wrong” things.
I thought my social believes to be the only right way to think.
That’s maybe a reason why it is really hard for me to accept that other cultures can have other ways of living and these are right too.
But I’m improving. my sister currently has a Muslim boyfriend. At first it was really weird for me. I thought that they are wrong in their believe (not their religion believe. I myself believe in something that no other religion teaches. More into the rules they set them self). That that can’t make a person happy. But the more I hear, the more i can accept that their way is okay too and that it is equally correct.
In this topic I just felt like I have to state my point of view if resurgent says that I am wrong. I had to say why I think I’m not wrong.