Reflection on the 102th day of my streak

Hello all, I hope you are all doing well in your battle against PMO. I just wanted to share some of feelings that I felt lately.
First of all, I am thankful for Allah and this community that help me to overcome the continuous battle I am facing everyday against urges. 102 day is a lot and I hope I can continue.

However, sometimes it saddens me that I still have a long way to build a family. I live in a 3rd world country where it’s hard for young youth to become independent financially from their family which is a huge issue for me.

To put things into prespective , I am a 24 year old man and this is my first year practicing medicine. I try to focus more on my education to become a competent doctor and to earn the respect of my patients and collagues. In addition, I try my best to work on myself phyisically and spirtually to become a better muslim and human being. I am thankful for being a doctor which was my goal from the 4th grade.

However, today I caught myself wanting to edge. It’s a continuous battle that I undergo everyday but today I was going to fail. I know that those urges , for me atleast, arise to fill the void of not having an intemiate relationship with someone. The problem is, I can’t start a relationship right now. In my country , doctors are extremely underpaid , and if you want to have a relationship the right relgious way ( building a family ), you are expected to have an apartment or many other things.

Even though , thanks to allah’s grace , I am respected among my colleagues for my hard work as a young physician , it is still not enough.
It still bothers me to this day when I approached one of my female friends ,few months ago, whose family rejected me based on financial reasons - which is a totally valid reason and that’s their right.

However, the rejection was in a way that made me feel like I am a spare guy : " you are a good person that I truly respect and I believe you have a great future. but you are not ready yet financially to start a family . I will not wait for you , but once you are ready you can come to ask for my hand ".

I truly respected her for her response , which is also her family’s, but I would have prefered a flat out no . The response made me feel as if I became a spare guy who once is ready financially , he can marry a girl if she hasn’t got married yet. However, I don’t blame her or her family . They are good people.

But now I feel like I don’t want , for the time being at least , to approach or get approached by anyone. I don’t want to re-live the embarrassment. That’s why I will focus to become the best version of myself. I hope I won’t be put in this kind of situations again when the time comes for another try - whether with this girl or someone else.

Sorry for the long post, but this is something I didn’t tell my family about, except my younger brother , to avoid making them sad. So I just needed an outlet to get ride of what was left of the negative emotions which were born of that situation.

If you read to the very end, I would like to thank you for being considerate. :innocent:


Hello mate, good night. The best thing you can do now is move on, continue with your NoFap, and become a great, respected doctor. Friend, I understand your religion and your culture, despite being far from it, however money, the reason for your rejection, does not buy everything, not even a family. A millionaire can think of himself as the owner of the world because he can buy everything, but there are things that money cannot buy, such as family, friends, special moments, etc. Learn to value yourself, know that you are worth more than others, only when you love someone, you can put your life in front of those they love. Value yourself, friend, money doesn’t buy everything, not even family. Family requires love, rationality, alright you need money to survive, but this is not the most important to the point that you are rejected by someone, the person can be more honest and say that in the combination of both, there would be no way keep yourself, and don’t just put the stone on your back. You have to be happy, a life without happiness is not worth it, remember that you are important in this world, become a respected and prestigious doctor, I know you are capable, I have confidence in you, and help others in your way, don’t depend on anyone for your success but yourself and never let anyone measure your worth, for they don’t know about your tears, your efforts, your pains, only you know. Don’t let anyone kill your dreams, please :cherry_blossom:

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Hello there companion.

Its nice of you to write for us. I am a muslim too and 24 years old. Also I live in a poor country so I totally understand and feel you man. Its hard and extremely expensive to get married. My story is exactly like you except that Im an engineer.

I struggle everyday from loneliness and boredom as I live alone away from my parents. Yet I try (again like you ) to focus on myself and becoming a better person.

However. Please be careful from peeking. I once achieved a 110 days long streak and blew it for no reason at all. It then took me 5 months of struggle to rebuild the streak I hold today (58 days). So dont ever relapse. It only makes things worse. Trust me you dont want to walk down on that dark path again.

And remember that whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah. Allah shall reward him with something better. So its garanteed that you will have a loving and caring wife one day so dont lose hope. and trust your lord.

Lastly I wish you good luck doctor with everything
Salam Allaykum


Thanks man for your kind encouraging words, really needed them. Stay safe at home and enjoy your life <3

Alykum al salam brother. Thanks for your kind words. Yeah, it’s getting hard this days but I try to maintain self dicipline, as much as I can. May Allah help us in our quest of being good muslims, and grand us his gannah.
و لك مثل الدعاء و أكثر بإذن الله :palms_up_together:


She is considering you as an back up option,then why you are still into her. Let’s say even if you guys get married somehow or other. The way she has spoken to you clearly shows that she won’t give respect and love to you after marriage.

She is portrayed herself as if she is some sort of reward which you can have only when you are doing financially good…

Actually, it’s a common response in my culture. I am not into her anymore but in the same time I don’t blame her for her rejection. But as both of us said, the rejection was in a way that made me feel as a back up guy, that’s what upsetted me the most. I moved on from her, but I shared the story as a way to move on from the back up thing :joy:
Thanks man for your being considerate and reading this long post. Totally appreciated :pray:

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