ReBorn's Diary - Conquering Myself

My mother said i cant do anything in my life.
It hurts like salt to wounds.
Today it is my Truth.
Can i change that ?
Can i Surprise all people who believes my days are over ?

Yes. I can .
But first have to conquer myself.
Day 23 Flatline.
Its not over yet.


Shock them, all of them make them feel embarrassed when they see what you are capable of.


There was a quote which was , “Set small goals , beat the hell out of them , then clap for ur damn self”
I think it applies here as well


Prove them all wrong! You’ve got this!


Fear griped me as i was

DAY 25
The edging i did on my day 22nd ruined my progress and put brakes on it for 2 days. It took away my sleep and confidence. Today on 25th day. As i was about to go to the market, Fear griped me and took over. As i was just about to give up, i remembers a motivational video about social anxiety. In that video, the guy was talking about the excuses that we make like what if i looks awkward what if i look stupid what if this & what if that let be this and let be that. Just be yourself. What if somebody thinks of me.
Let him judge you. Let it be. You have to move yourself.

Physical activity is a must in such times. We have to sweat in order to progress. We have to face our fears. So i faced mine today and i went on my buiseness through the crowdy streets. Yeah ! I was not 100% not fully confident, calm etc. But i did complete my work. We have to accept ourselves that way we are. Sometimes things are difficult. We have to be patient. These are struggle times. Good Times are not very far. We are reaching there with every passing day. Just be True to your journey…


Facing the uncomfortable situations
DAY 26

Yesterday i went for 20 minutes of morning and evening walk outside.
After a lot of procrastination, Finaly woke up today at 6 a.m. and went for a walk. Although i didnt enjoy it but somehow i am doing it. Some discipline has come into me.
Yesterday night didnt sleep enough. Today feeling very tired but again i am studying somehow. I am changing myself somehow.

Waiting for the days when i will enjoy all these activities without forcing myself. It is just a beginning.


When you are about to give up, just remember why are you doing all this. It is for yourself and the people you care of!

You deserve a life with full liberty that comes from self-control! A truly life with happiness that comes with the satisfaction of knowing you are doing your best to be the best version of yourself.

Keep going! Don’t look back to what you had lost, because what you had lost is nothing!


Thanks sadraw.
Everyday i am hustling and forcing myself to be in crowdy public areas. Social anxiety is my big fear.
Also i have Brain Fog issue.
I could have been better but i edged.
Past 4 days are clean.
But the brain fog is not lifting.
It is there may be due to my antidepression drugs.
I am trying to quit them when i was on day 7.
Now its 27th day. Not much breakthrough.
But i wont give up. I am seeing a tiny light hole in this cave full of darkness

I must crawl to reach there and pull myself out of my miseries.


The Flatline
DAY 28

In nofap community, the term flatline is the period of days when you are depressed, not feeling the benefits, poor mood, no motivation, sad etc. Some say it is when your brain is rewiring itself. Some say it is side effect of pmo withdrawl.

Now i will talk about my situation. I edged on my 22nd day. After edging that day, i lost my benefits. 6 days have passed after that but i am still not recovered from that horrible mistake. My state of mind is sad. Angry and frustrated some time. Although i have plenty of energy to do my tasks but it is a forced decision. It doesnt comes from my heart. I feel corrupted by that edging.
The reasons of my Flatline are :

  1. Edging. I feel i am cheating myself. My streak is not pure. I edged on 11th, 12th, 15, 20 & 22 day. I watched erotic videos for about an hour per day. 5 times. I will consider my reboot on 95th day of my streak.
  2. Sleep quality not improving. 20 days have passed. I am trying to quit anti depression drugs.
  3. Not much improvement in body. I expected the benefits more.

The very important thing is beside my miserable condition i am not going for a Relapse.
Today the urges came to watch some shit but i denied and told myself i am not giving up.
I am just 3 days away to break my personal best. I am optimist that sooner or later things will be in my favour. I must restore my faith in nofap. The guilt of edging will go away with each passing day.
:smile: Faking a smile.


Day 29

All focus on quiting antiDepression drugs. It is The Main Reason of My Brain Fog

The strength of this addiction is as strong as of faping.
I am determined to take full control over my body.


DAY 30

Benefits :
1.Increase in social skills.
2.Reduced Anxiety.
3.Going for Walking outside.
6.Working on quiting antidepressants drugs.


Day 31
Relapsed after 31 days & an hour.

Depression, sleepless night
But these are only excuses. I lost to myself. Instead of controling my thoughts. I lost to them.
I will try again

You are 100% Right.
Edging = Relapse.

Whats your thought on Kareeza ?
Is it edging or not ?
Can i practise kareeza after my Reboot ?

1 Like

@ReBorn When I relaxed my personal goal of strict+perfect Hard Mode I made progress. I edge less now and I’m happier. Don’t make the goal too strict. Re-evaluate it and be honest with yourself. 31 days is a great Streak.