Read this Pathetical Diary & Pls Help Me

Hey there guys…
Thanks for coming in I guess

You can come here if you want to make fun of me… Or just feel cringe and run away from here…

But I would really prefer yo to help me… To write something nice or helpful please…

You can comment here in my diary, there’s no problem with that…

I won’t write here everyday… Just when I feel like it

So, here we go

:fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward::fast_forward:

26 July, Monday

ughh dude, I survived The first night at least
I haven’t lose yet

but only 13 hours had passed since The last time I came… and I can’t believe I was about to lose it at hour 6

at hour Six I had to use the “emergency tentation button” several times…
I stayed literally more than 20 minutes waiting for the urge to pass…

It’s extremely difficult to me…
ofc it makes me feel desperate and desperation is my kink.
It’s literally a critical hit to my kinks to go through abstinence…

Desperation makes me go more desperate, more and more and more and more…

and there the thing that’s supposed to help me tells me “focus in the urge, feel the urge go insane, do nothing about it, and let it pass”…

dude, I could barely breath…

I’m laughing right now…
Idk what I was thinking about…

I got into a 45 days no-fap challenge in this app… the challenge is also Pokemon related

and yet here I am, not even able to endure a week… also having a Pokemon related Kink.

bruh wtf…

the challenge is supposed to start next month… so there still are 4 days left until that challenge starts…

I might honestly lose it even before that challenge starts.

it’s already a challenge for me to endure 4 days more…

ahh okay dude… I got classes, see ya

1 Like

28 July, Wednesday (Day of Relapse)

Are you stupid? ~no? Then why do you Masturbate to the point of Edging if you don’t wanna cum.

30 July, Friday.

I can’t believe I already Achieved my longest streak?

I remember that it felt EXTREMELY Difficult the first time

and now I already did it better than last time…

I’m having urges right now, but I think those started after going on a longer streak

wtf… what am I even saying?
am I really celebrating a two day streak?
since when am I this sick?

someone please help me, I am about to delete this app and leave all no-fap community and challenges…

can you please help me stay?

30 July, Friday ~Second entry (Relapsed 5 minutes ago)

I feel I’m the Most disgusting person on earth

I disgust myself.

I hate myself because of this addiction

And I absolutely hate that I can’t even make it to 3 days.

It’s humiliating, it’s embarrassing

I hate myself, I disgust myself. Dude… I even wanna die right now, I’m not kidding.

I managed to block my phone access to every single porn website, I managed to even block ADs

And yet I can’t block myself from masturbation more than 2 days.

I really wanna die right now

(In case you wonder… Yes, I’m also dealing with heavy depression and suicide ideas since late 2018)

31July, Saturday

"Might someone please save me?
I’m being totally serious, I don’t think I can make it to September this year.

I feel hopeless, desperate, lonely, stressed, anxious… Yesterday night I was having a panic attack. Before to that I was having another panic attack right in fron of 2 psychologist and next to my mom, they couldn’t even notice.

I need someone to vent or something, Please.

I’m sorry not to write rainbows and flowers over here, but I can’t express what I’m not feeling."

1 Like

First of chill!! Don’t give a fuck about this damn additiction. It may be affecting your life but there are others things which you need to focus on right now. it’s not your fault that you are addicted, it was never yours okay. I know how it feels like to be at this place.

Listen to me, the only thing I can assure you is that you can get out of this storm, just be faithful!!

remember YOU ARE GREAT!! YOUR SOUL IS PURE!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE FREE!!

MEET YOU IN PERSONAL, yes you are unknown to me but I can’t see you like this.