Hey guys. This is Rajameghanan(17M). Some of you knew me. Today I am creating my first thread here. The reason behind it was that I have relapsed three straight days from March 15. The urges were too small but I can’t control myself. I have done a no fap streak for 76 days from November 29 to February 14. After my fall since Feb 14, I have relapsed nearly 8 times. I don’t want to happen this again. So, I am gonna start this thread where I can share my feelings and the things that happened in my everyday life. And when I get urges, this thread will remember me of its existence and my accountability. Thank you.
I am so lazy today. I went to school to study for the exam. But, I was just playing with my friends all the day. Just read 8 details the whole day which requires just 45 mins to cover if read with focus. After that relapse. Then went to terrace to relax myself and read 5 details so far. Feeling sleepy now itself. Many people experience some pain or discomfort in some areas after a relapse and I have it in my eye. My eyes turn red every night and makes me fall asleep by 9 or 9.30 itself. That’s how the day went.
In simple words, it’s an unproductive day. Atleast let me make my tomorrow a productive day.
Atu enakku natakkum . Ovvoru muraiyum nan oru ayvuk kuluvil pankerkiren. Nan patippatillai
Avanga 7 per Raja Rani vilayadinanga naan adha vedika pathutu irundhen and then thanni ellar melayum oothi vilayadinanga afternoon full ah ipdi than pochu.
Day 1 completed
Studying very slowly. Just moving like a worm. But the best thing is I am moving rather than staying in the same place. Heading towards Day 2. Will complete it.
“I can do this all day”
Every Sunday is boring for me. This Sunday is very important for me to cover the important questions for my upcoming exams. But when I feel bored, I don’t do anything other than watching TV or phone. It actually sucks. And because of the previous relapses, I can’t focus in my studies too. Everything is silent today. Even the weather is so cloudy like my brain. Any ideas to recover from boredom guys? I survived from PMO but this boredom is always making me weak all the time particularly in Sundays.
Day 2 completed.
Same as yesterday but so lazy. Boring Sunday. Happy that I didn’t relapse.
I am inevitable
It happened again. I relapsed again. Having urges since today morning but controlled it. But, after my lunch, I can’t control it. The urges were at peak. Automatic erection too. I think the overeating could be the reason for it. Though it be the reason, I should have focused on studies but I relapsed. Sorry guys. I should not have done this.
Day 1 completed
Today Mar 21 had my Economics exam. Don’t know the answer to the compulsory question. Lost 3 marks and in 2 marks made a mistake.
March 23 Day 3 completed
Studying all day for the upcoming exams
Planned to cover 20 lessons details today and 8 accomplished till now. 12 to go within 7 hours. That’s really a difficult thing to do.