Radio's journal: It's so hard to say goodbye

Day 1:

Just a average winter day, streaming then playing some among us with friends


Day 3:

Slept in bc I helped my brother make his dresser at his new place yesterday.

Streamed overwatch and practiced Spanish with duolingo between in queues.

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Wow! Look at that, you’re already at day 7 in no time. Unfortunately I could not join you at the same time but I’m getting there again!
Your progress is quite motivating actually.
Would love to know how you’re doing. It’s been 4 days since your last update on here. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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My family and I cut some trees down on Saturday and I took both Saturday and Sunday off from streaming. Practiced a little bit of Spanish even tho I didn’t stream

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Day 2:

I was just watching a YouTube video and some thing clicked in my head about why I took rejection from this girl a few years back so hard. It was bc I never think I’m good enough at anything and the rejection made me thing I wasn’t good enough for her so I must be worthless. I need to address this more bc I feel like I haven’t fully dealt with destructive mindset

It’s essential that we work on building a positive mental attitude. I tore myself down for years and it just made life unbearable.

You’re definitely not worthless, I’m glad you realised that was the reason you took the rejection hard in the past.

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I think it also has a connection to why I PMO. I think bc I tell myself I’m not good enough. It makes me feel good enough for a brief moment, but then makes me feel enough more worthless after. It’s a circle of pain

I think my main reason for PMOing is bc it makes me feel like I’m in control

I always had this feeling that I wasn’t good enough in general and PMO gave be this feeling of being good enough for a moment of time

I used to think that these two reason for PMOing were the same reason but they’re different and it’s helpful knowing that

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