Well I have thought about doing a diary for a while now, but never did it so here it goes… On second thought I’ll write something down in a few hours.
I’ve been having fantasies about porn and such. The fantasies feel like eating junk food on a diet. So good, but so wrong at the same time! This feeling of good and bad rushes over me. It feels like drinking/eating some thing with caffeine (I don’t drink coffee anymore) in it, yet it also gives me this feeling of pain in my soul.
I know I can’t give in for a whole lot of reasons, but the most important reason and the main reason I’m doing nofap is that it’s a sin. It gives me this dull pain when I know I sinned against my Lord and Savior.
Just came in here to say that I love that cat profile pic
I’m with you on this. According to the Bible it’s a sin against your own body. Imagine hurting yourself deliberately. That always reminds me the fight is worth it.
@copper_bronze I totally agree! I wouldn’t be doing nofap for any other reason then to live for my Lord and Savior.
Thanks, @Taher It’s actually a picture from one of my favorite video game franchises (Fallout)
Day: 238 I’ve been reading this sample book called, " Every young man’s battle" and the one time I was about to read some more of it. I clicked the play books app and this revealing photo of a sample book that I didn’t sample was in my sample list and I stopped for a second, thinking why did this happen? did I sample this book and forget? Then I snapped back to reality and remembered that I didn’t do it and that also I couldn’t have done it (because I worked 12 hours)
I’ve half-heartedly been fighting thinking about fantasies, but I’m going to try harder now. I’m a little anxious because I don’t know what career I want to do, but what I do know is that this addiction doesn’t make it easier so I’ll keep fighting this thing. (PS I’m having super annoying stomach cramps as I write this, so if I wrote something wrong please forgive me)
I own “Every Man’s Battle” and have read it atleast twice. It’s a good book during nofap. We have a book reseller here called Half Price Books that sells this kind of book for like $7. It’s a book you can read more than once. Good choice.
I’ve been having flashes of sexual thoughts and regular thoughts too. They’re not even a full thought. I think I need to get my goals in life in line and find the pain in my life that I medicate with PMO.
You are facing the sexual thoughts same as a normal beginner faces in the starting days of nofap. What’s the difference between a 3 day and a day 238 nofapper?
P.s I can’t pass day 3 …always end up relapsing😶 and here you are in your 200+ days. M just curious
The big difference is that I usually get weak urges, but a beginner gets urges that make you want to rip your hair out. Plus when I was around months 3-4 I hit this rough patch that I felt like nothing in life mattered.
Are you on hard mode bro ?
Yes I’m on hard mode. The only time I have see porn sense my last relapse was when I was looking for a way to fix my lag on my video game and I clicked a website without reading the url, but I left that website as soon as I relized that it was a porn website
I am on 25th day of hard mode. Any advice for me ?
Truthful one good piece of advice would be to find what you’re medicating with PMO
Meditating = ? …
Confused about its meaning here !
Oops, I meant to said medicating
No Medicating in my case.
The intense pleasure of Orgasm was the reason behind my fapping addiction & The reason why i am doing nofap is because i believe there is 1000 times more pleasure in living without orgasm
I’ve been thinking. Last year I was talking to this one girl that I liked. I made some lame excuses so that we’d talk every day. She’s one of those types of people that don’t realize that they come off as a little flirty(I also miss read her being super nice as her liking me) . I found out that she had a boyfriend, it turns out that she got back together with her boyfriend that she broke up with. I told her the truth. I told her that I liked her, but that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to her because of her boyfriend (she didn’t know that I liked her until I told her).
Thinking back on it. I think it was a good thing that she didn’t like me. I don’t want to hurt my future wife. So why would I try to look for a girlfriend if I know I need to improve my self first.
Fudge this is a bit too repeatable
And man it’s okay to like someone and if it was mutual then great right?
I just think we should all be in the moment at times the ‘future wife’ is in the future you know , she could have been the one as well and I don’t think past relationships would hurt people cause how would you know someone is the one until you try it. This is coming from someone that rejects people all the time
It’s good that you’re planning on bettering yourself 1st, that’s what I’m also doing and hopefully the right one will come along.