Radio's diary: Feeling sometimes doesn't feel so good

Day 0: I’m going to try to stop drinking alcohol, makes it harder to think clearly even just a beer or two makes me stop thinking as clearly as normal and I need all my senses to fight this battle. I need to start meditation and praying more to reduce stress, because stress is my number 1# reason i relapse

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Day 0: I binge relapsed a few times after my last post, it really sucks! I have been self hating myself from even before I was addicted to this junk (and I fell into this trap over 10 years ago, when I was like 12 or 13)

I need to find a way to forgive myself for a lot of things that I blame myself for.

1: I told myself many times that x year or x day was the last time I was going to relapses

2: I told myself I’d get over this addiction before I turned 20 (I’m 23 now)

Imma write more, if I think of some more

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Day 19:
I wish I could say I feel better now that I got to this streak, but I don’t I frankly I don’t really feel anything at all unless it is pain. And even that feels numb. The only thing that makes me feel better is reading my Bible/listening to it. Yet I don’t do that to I go to bed. I need to push myself to do that in the morning so I can start off my day right