A month ago, i went in a trip, with my 'supposed to be my best & closest friend ’
Was my first trip ever abroad, we shared same room for 9 days
He’s well aware of my addiction, I’m addicted to everything related to sex,
Im trying my best, I trusted him with all, and trusted he’ll take care of me, and look out for me.
In the trip he was different person, someone totally driven by his desires,
He didn’t give me any space, and kept pushing, and triggering me, knowing it will destroy me.
This dude, he put his desires first, he didn’t think of me. My interest, how things affect me. He broke me.
Supposed to be my friend, who bush me toward my goals, and protect me. I did all to protect him, to take care of him.
5 days intro the trip, I fail, he won, he broke me.
Its been exactly a month since we took this trip, and exactly 3 weeks since I did dirty act. I’m trying to recover, it hit me hard, ruined me, corrupted my brain, soul,
I’m an addict I’ve struggled with sexual acts before at very young age, it sent me to depressed phase for years,
He acted like he cares, he’s lying to himself, he took a risk on me,
I’m weak, and I was trying my best to get better, but I can’t move 2 people, he did all to sabotage my progress, to make it harder, to drag me with him.
And then he came to me saying, oh its not a big deal, don’t be dramatic.
For me its a big deal, I’ve told him before how big the effects would be on me, how sex can destroy me. how dangerous all sexual stuff are. And I’m the addict, and he’s my friend who’s supposed to help me.
He totally betrayed me, to fulfill his fcked up desires