I’ve had enough of my continously short streaks! Even though knowing that sexual pleasure of watching porn is not real, I am still obsessed with the false happiness. My energy is not strong enough to fight porn, that’s why the masturbation repeats. I seriously need help on this!
Sharing code - 2df3gs *
Current streak - 2 hours *
Highest streak - 16 days *
Age - 25
Gender - M
Location - Malaysia
Why I want a companion -
I hate pornography. It causes serious brain damage on me which made me almost fired by my company due to some stupid mistake. Hence, I need some help on rebooting my brain from now on.
Everyone regardless of any background is welcomed. We can remind each other everyday on the lifestyle as well as the improvement on rebooting the brains.
Let me know if you’re interested either by message or reply on this post. *
Big thanks for everyone whoever passby. Wish you all a brightful future!
According to my observation, bad emotional control is the top reason of getting my dozens of relapse. Bad emotion comes from many places. For example, rush project to meet schedule, negotiate with stubborn clients, being scolded by parents and etc.
I used to release my stress through watching videos like reels, movies, anime, drama and etc. The intimate scenes or sexy costume always lure my desire to click into adult content.
Besides, I am people who like to stay at home enjoying self time. However, moment being alone meaning lesser internal supervision or restriction because you dont need to take care of what you are doing. Boringness makes me wanna find something exciting which leads me to browsing erotic content. Although I have an apps to filter adult content, but I cant control myself to search for erotic content by dodging adult videos filtering. It sounds weird…but ya, I successfully forced myself from not watching adult video, yet failed to make myself calm down from the strong desire to search for porn sources. Then I end up with reading adult comic.
It is tough to quit masturbation as the devil keep on changing ways to seduce my internal pervertness.
I wish i could have a healthy hobby to replace this bad habit as well. I am working on that right now. But before that, I need some motivation, thats why I came to this forum…
Basic laws of nature:
the more and more you dont want to do something, then you will find yourself more and more involved into it. That hate itself have such huge power to make you getting involved with it. You will again and again find your mind going into it. you cannot stop your mind, its impossible. so you fap again and again… then you hate even more…then again fap and then hate…cycle continues.
the more and more you like something you will find yourself more and more doing it. its natural due to its pleasantness you want it again and again.
whether you hate it or like it. your mind will be into the same pornography,adultury. If your mind is always there soo much clouded with sexual thoughts(whether hating sex or liking sex) then how you can come out of it?.. Naturally you choose pleasure then after enjoying you hate yourself(its your current habit pattern right now) and that habit pattern you have to change. You need to develop equanimity( that is not liking, not hating but simply witnessing, that witnessing helps you to understand the impermanance). I know i know meditation is harder at your age. But fortunately or for many people unfortunately meditation is the only way to develop equanimity. After developing this quality called equanimity you dont have any thoughts in your mind of liking or hating porn. it will subside and you are free of those thoughts. I know i look a different person talking from a different world or simply for some people and offcourse its true. you will understand what i am talking if you meditate more.
If meditation dont suits for you, then the key for you is repression. but this is not the best one to do. the more and more you repress you will be filled with those thoughts again and again like a massive shit. The thoughts of liking sex and the thoughts of hating sex will cloud your mind totally… its natural but you must focus on your work/goals. Sexual thoughts will be there , let it be. But you dont give any damn shit about it, just focus on your work or go out chill sometime if its too much. Then over time gradually if you dont give any shit to those thoughts of liking and hating thoughts of your mind but simply focusing on your work, then one day you will find yourself those sexual thoughts are reduced tremendously and now you are a very focused man in your career and achieving a lot of things. Now you repressed it successfully.
I wish people choose deep meditation. But it will be very scary and unnerving in the beginning for few months or years, but in long term nothing is more joyful and satisfying than that.
But who nowadays have that few months …all are very busy people.
so until you are ready just use the repression method. Its okay if you fail sometimes, just accept that and try again and again. thats what people are doing in this forum.
Find better hobbies to keep yourself happy. work harder on your goals and get what you want. its all joyful and satisfying things to do. so your fapping will be reduced a lot or you can completely neglect it also by repression by its requires lots of dedicated practice.
Indeed, repression is so common method that newbies will autpmatically choose to encounter with adultury… I tried to build up meditation habit, but get lost for a period of time. At the beginning, I will choose meditation guidance videos, follow the mantra and music to settle my mind on bed before sleeping. However, after some period of time (not sure when), my meditation time gradually became shorter and shorter, 1 minute, 2 seconds (sit down and just quit) then 0 ( not even started). At the same time, I started to relapse at least 3 times a month. I even spent 8 hours which is late night till next morning (the longest time i can tell) on watching pornography (mostly at Friday night or Staurday night cos no work on next day). My hair fall become more and more serious, my brain thinking become more and more slowmotion, my stamina become trenmendously weaker (easy to fragile and panting after some exercises)… Because of losing track on meditation habit, I start to repress whenever i have urges, end up with I’m still in the negative cycle of relapsing now… My feeling is comolicated now, after evefy relapse, I tell myself it is a good chance to start again, if I can overcome sex addiction, nothing else can defeat me, but i also feel ashamed of my pervertness, and the hatred obviously sronger than the equanimity…
Brother i was meditating like 4 hours everyday for past 1 year. still i cannot overcome anything. the more and more i go into meditation , the more and more i find myself entrying into the more darker portions of my mind. I know one day it will change and i will heal. but meditation is not easy brother. as i already said it requires a tremendous courage and very unnerving at times. somedays i was very nervous that i dont even feel like getting out of the home. Different people see me at different times , some say i am courageous and some say i am scared soo much to go to piss even haha. but i was in different different states of mind. sometimes soo lusty and sometimes not. at times i was in soo much confused state and likewise same for many emotions. sometimes more awareness, sometimes i feel like i am mad or something. i will clouded with too much thoughts. at times i feel joy ,at times soo much emotional pain etc etc., and right now my kundalini energy started to move upwards, the level of suffering i have to gothrough is much worse for sure. i know its all for healing purpose. but managing meditation with worldly habits is not easy. society will think differently about you(maybe mad or possessed or depressed or anxious etc) different people starts to think about you differently. at times your family will be against your actions and hate you for choosing meditation and they blame. so, you must learn to be equanimous with all these social situations. not giving any shit if someone praise you and also not giving any shit when someone say bad about you (yes, equanimity here also)… after all its not a piece of cake. thats why i not advised meditation. but you can do if you ready to face all shits like me. i am offcourse more willing to do it…haha.
if you are married , then read oshos book of sex to superconsiousness. that will help you.
you can enjoy sex meditatively and overcome that. again i say meditation is not as people think. it will fuck you up totally but its all healing going on.
you can try any 112 meditation technique that osho mentioned. i am also 25 but not married, one day i wish i try tantra couple meditation with my wife. haha
right now i am practicing vipassana meditation.
i do repress alot at times. because i need to earn and need to manage many things. but its all in the game. hope one day i get that financial freedom.
Hey brother, you have meditated for more than 1 year, thats so great. What time you used to meditate? Morning after wake up or after work or when? Do you meditate one time for 4 hours or you meditate twice per day in total of 4 hours? It is incredible (from my perspective) to meditate for 4 hours within one day. I used to have long working hour, so currently the maximum time i can spare to meditate is just 30 minutes… But the longest stillness i can achieve is 10 minutes, and now i even stopped meditation for few weeks, I wish to pick it up as soon as possible.
I strongly believe that meditation is a good habit that can improve our body system. Even though i have not meditate for few weeks, i still have the intention to make it as a daily routine for my inner peace.
Please continue your meditation whether the society support or not. Beneficial changes of meditation will somehow reveal. At least you tried for so long time, you are better than whom wanted to start meditation yet never had action on it (like a friend of mine, he complimented me for having a start to meditate even though no obvious changes seen yet).
Good morning
Firstly have a happy day brother
And i cam relate to u about watching reels etc for stress release and also the intimate scenes and sexy costumes
But lets not leave hope
Lets just work pur way through this
Oh thanks brother. I am meditating not left it.
Morning 2 hrs , evening 2 hrs. Some(hehe many) days i mess , so inbetween the day i meditate. This was my #1 priority for me until now. And do you know what happened to me after kundalini energy begins to awaken?..my body starts to move itself spontaneously and i begin to laugh,cry and going to yoga postures,some mudras. All are spontaneous (involuntarily) it just happens. Then i called many teachers but many had different opinions …some said to stop the movements and some said to go with it. Many opinions starts to piss me off. It was scary. And later i decided to let that movements be and just be the witness for everything. Stopping the involuntary movements every time simply means that i don’t want that movement and stopping simply means not equanimous. But Here i am practicing equanimity so i let movements be. They said these movements and crying laughing spontaneously is sign of recovery. All those emotions which are suppressed in us starts to unwind in order to heal the body,mind and yes soul is trying to express itself. Our kundalini energy from the base of the spine starts to move upwards to clear the blockages (physical, emotional) in order to heal. The energy have its own intelligence it will make you move in whatever directions it has to move you for healing. It will be very unnerving at first, but with some time if we just witness we understand what that energy is doing for us. And we adapt slowly slowly and starts to grow as a new man. Yes we have go through many suffering.
If you want to start meditation then it’s upto you totally. It heals you and do massive good for you. But not a piece of cake it knocks you, mess you,fucks you, you walk into darkness with your little consciousness and you only have to walk. The fear will be there always but even if you have fear and trembling like a little leaf in the tree, panicking then also you have to walk… Don’t think i am over exaggerating. But i wish someone had said this before. At times you may be need to quit the job and focus on yourself or shift the career …quit your relationship or friendships… People may notice you and comment differently/badly. It’s upto you man.
What i said above all are new to you , but if you practice you will adapt and you will develop a new courage, intelligence,sharpness,love, patience, joy, bliss ,freedom, yourself true self, immortality etc…, through long time(years).
30 mins is good time to start . Before starting decide yourself your situation and financial status. I don’t say, you will leave your career but if practice intensify then for some time you may have to take a break and rethink that particular job of yours and find something that suits you.
If you cannot then leave it and focus on your career growth like every people around you.
. Before starting decide yourself your situation and financial status. I don’t say, you will leave your career but if practice intensify then for some time you may have to take a break and rethink that particular job of yours and find something that suits you.