Prox's Journal(18 M)

Diary
,
201

I don’t think it means that it’s more like having anxiety during the process but try out whatever works out for you use the meditating videos in youtube
this is a good channel also try using the headspace app as well as the series over netflix
https://www.youtube.com/user/Getsomeheadspace

Also check this thread it had some nice answers
https://amp.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/4bzo5h/why_am_i_crying_during_meditation/

3 Likes
202

Day 2

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :white_check_mark: 10:00 pm
Wake up early :x: 9 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 25 minutes
Meditation :white_check_mark: 30 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 2 Hours and 30 minutes
Reading books :x:
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 9 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching :x:

Was more of a procrastinative day had an, as usual, headache in morning since I overslept
rest was anime binge :dragon_face:

3 Likes
203

Chill bro, you’re doing fine. Whenever I meditate, it’s basically 30 seconds of meditation and 10 minutes of overthinking while half asleep

4 Likes
204

Yup, that happened with me today, it happens many times, but I saw in one of the videos that while meditating thoughts will keep pouring in but you just have to keep letting them go and that is the basic of meditation.
@Armaan_1 nah bro I don’t cry while meditating either :joy: you need not necessarily feel like crying. It’s just that some people feel so.

3 Likes
205

feeling really guilty today after relapsing twice today after being alone at home
still my brain is asking for the third time. chest and head feels heavy

I’m thinking that my father allowed me to use this laptop for studies but what I use it for is ofc pornography, social media(not anymore at least), and anime… I just feel trapped at one point and frustrated completely
Need to get out of my room I’m gonna delete all the trash of anime(200GB) on this device and would be using downloading only 2 eps per day for controlling
and gonna shift my room to the next one in my mom’s room and use my room for working out only
Luckily there’s ac there so it’ll also be a big help it’s completely hot in my room tbh
Gonna start all over on it again would just eat my dinner and read the book I’m reading right now

Even grammerly is mocking my confidence right now :expressionless: :expressionless:
image

6 Likes
206

Day 1

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :x: 2 am
Wake up early :x: 9 am
Workout :x:
Meditation :white_check_mark: 30 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 2 Hours
Reading books :x:
Cold Shower :x:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Brushing Twice :x:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 5 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :white_check_mark: (5 Hours)
3 Likes
207

Day 2

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :x: 1 am
Wake up early :x: 9 am
Workout :x:
Meditation :white_check_mark: 15 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 3Hours 30 minutes
Reading books :x:
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :x: wasted time on discord
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 9 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :white_check_mark: (30 minutes)

Had urges did cold shower+ meditation after it

2 Likes
208

Day 0 relapsed in evening

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :x: 1 am
Wake up early :x: 7 am
Workout :x:
Meditation :white_check_mark: 5 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 4Hours 21 minutes
Reading books :x:
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :x:
Brushing Twice :x:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 6 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :x:
2 Likes
209

Day 1

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :x: 11 pm
Wake up early :x: 10 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 45 minutes jogging/skipping rope
Meditation :white_check_mark: 5 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 3 Hours
Reading books :x:
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :x: (used yt)
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 11 eps
Room cleaning :x:
Sketching Practice :x:

Drank water just before going out for jogging and then after 20 minutes I couldn’t feel my kidney at all. Still somehow completed 2 rounds of park with 3k steps

3 Likes
210

Day 0 relapse early morning

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :x: 1 am
Wake up early :white_check_mark: 4 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 15 skipping rope
Meditation :white_check_mark: 25 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 4 Hours 30 mnutes
Reading books :white_check_mark: 30 minutes
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :x: (used yt and dc)
Brushing Twice :x:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 6 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :x:
3 Likes
211
Triggering Text I've been trying to control my anger issues but today I ended up shouting at my parents and then got into fighting with them... This day is gonna be traumatic in the future for me After that, I tried to control through meditation after which I got an emotional breakdown and cried for 1 hour and now getting high urges for PMO
3 Likes
212

Stay strong and if you wish too, you can apologize to them. Don’t hesitate, your heart will be lightened.

3 Likes
213

Next time you face such situations, take deep breaths before reacting ok. I get you tho, I also used to be angry all the time when I was your age.

4 Likes
214

The same happened to me one day, I felt depressed. At that day my father was a bit drunk and I couldn’t control my anger issues and I was upset with him the whole day for drinking .
I could make him understand about alcohol consumption simply by talking but I overreacted for which I felt sorry afterwards.
@The_integrous_one is right you should take a deep breath and should not react.

Its our age and I think we face those situations when we are in the flatline of nofap.
So by understanding all these, we should do wisely and maturely and continue our nofap journey without giving up.:muscle::muscle::muscle:

3 Likes
215

Day 2

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :white_check_mark: 10 am
Wake up early :x: 8:50 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 30 min skipping rope
Meditation :white_check_mark: 5 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 2 Hours
Reading books :white_check_mark: 30 minutes
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 10 eps
Room cleaning :x:
Sketching Practice :x:
Spent most of the day sleeping and watching anime

I did apologise to her afterwards but she kind of just forgot about it…

this was the same thing I thought last time but I only know when it during/after it occurs :pensive:

4 Likes
216

Practice bro. Also add this to your affirmations, I have added a line reminding me to take deep breaths before replying when in conflicting situations. It works.

3 Likes
217

Day 3

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :white_check_mark: 11 am
Wake up early :white_check_mark: 5 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 30 min jogging
Meditation :white_check_mark: 8 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 8 Hours 50 minutes
Reading books :white_check_mark: 30 minutes
Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :x: 5 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :x:
5 Likes
218

Day 4

Tasks status
Slept Early (last day) :white_check_mark: 11 am
Wake up early :white_check_mark: 5 am
Workout :white_check_mark: 30 min jogging
Meditation :white_check_mark: 10 minutes
Study 10+ hours :x: did 3 Hours 45 minutes
Reading books :white_check_mark: 20 minutes
Cold Shower :white_check_mark: (twice)
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Brushing Twice :white_check_mark:
No Junk Food :white_check_mark:
Anime Controlled :white_check_mark: 2 eps
Room cleaning :white_check_mark:
Sketching Practice :x:

Had to travel to another city in the morning for something and used up 5 hours in that
Need to travel more tomorrow for around 40 km (front and back) and I usually easily get car sick so hoping there won’t be any traffic and I’ll reach back home without any vomit smell

4 Likes
219

Mate check out the animedoro technique. It’s really cliche and a weird spinoff of pomodoro but it may help.

3 Likes
220

Hey!
I did know about this and tried as well once but going to be completely honest neither this nor Pomodoro works for me… I usually sit whenever I’m in a mood or just taking breaks when I feel like since the focus on the timer itself is distracting so I just use the most basic stopwatch/tracking app

3 Likes