No being alone till the end of life isn’t easy. Even iam scared of marriage. But we will regret after a certain point. After 40’s of your age, that part really would be very difficult for both genders without marriage and children. U just fed up at this point. Whats your age now? But iam literally confused to share it here or not. My neighbor woman who is at 30 didn’t marry yet. She was rejected by a marriage proposal when both family met. The mother of the boy said she dont have anything in the front . I was very curious abt her marriage then i asked what happened she said i was really shocked i dont know what to say. How bad she would face when others ask what happened? Why they rejected u? She isn’t married yet age 32 Not po*n only created that this society has this kind of thoughts before. The thing is before it is male dominated i mean male gender is supremacy nowadays it is becoming opposite. I got to know when i read someone’s diary today where he said he has ED i dont know abt that i searched it i got to know. Never i have watched any side effects video of pmo. I think in just a decade these things might go more problematic. As i know most of the ppl watching it. They dont aware of the thing bcoz there is no vid abt bad effects. And if vids are there, they can’t accept it.
And dont overthink abt this society lol. U have to focus on your studies alone … Then u can change things surrounding u not the whole society. 
what u r studying? Whats ur age now?
It’s not, but after a point in life it becomes much easier. Much like running a marathon, which seems much tougher in the begining but just becomes easier once you reach the half way mark. I turned 28 last month.
Yes sister, you are very right and considerate in your approach. That might make her feel bad. I hope she finds a better person. It has become a norm for people to marry in their mid-30’s now, and I feel its better to marry as a mature, wise and stable person in your late 20’s and 30’s, than an emotionally vulnerable person in their teens and early twenties.
Its not something that I’d care about much. Male dominated or female dominated, society should live by some basic principles of life. There have been matrilineal societies in world for centuries, they did just fine. Same goes for patrilineal societies. An ordinary person always had the same necessities in every society and hence similar roles.
Its the ways of modern world, a facade of neo-feminism and male-jingoism that is making people feel entitled. Its making them see wrong things as right, people want to do exactly what established societal rules tell them not to, because to them it seems like a burden created by male-dominated or female-dominated society. While the rules are basically there to protect people from destroying themselves.
Yes sister, I know. And it is very sad. That is what I initially started with today. If only there was a way to stop this stupid ■■■■ industry and end it permanently. Our world is headed towards destruction and its so hurtful. Men have unrealistic expectations from women, women have unrealistic expectations from men, and still at best people are only able to look at each other as objects.
Actually my studies are related to the upliftment of society so I’m naturally inclimed to think that way. I hold a masters degree in environmental sciences, have a brief history in army, and am currently studying for civil services again. If it doesn’t work out, I may donne uniform again, but will emd this cycle of studying for exams by the end of this year or early 2025. If you need amy help in exam preparation or studies, you can ask me. I have massive experience , have seen both successes and failures.
Ohh… Army ?? I can get it now sry. I can get it. U ppl worked hard there . But when u return and see these things in society, u would fed up like hell yeah 
sry again. Sure. I will ask u the doubts. Do u want to serve for the country by getting into civil?? Dont worry u will clear before 2025 end. I think civil exams have already started right?
Not in the army that the way you think. I cleared CDS, but then due to complications of covid could not appear for other formalities and hence could never join. Sometimes luck doesn’t work in the ways that we want. 
There are many reasons for that. I’ve a goal in my mind to do something. I don’t tie civil services to be the only way to achieve that, but yeah the sort of things that I can do after getting there, might not be possible in any other way atm. Actually it has already taken place in June this year, but I could not even clear prelims. Currently appearing for state civil services, have one pretty soon.
All the best brother 
this time is yours. Then join ypt
Thank you so much sister. You will succeed soon as well. What is ypt?
Study tracker app , where we can study in groups , just by starting the timer nothing else required. RC also has a group @PrDr
Sometimes life can only push a man so much. Maybe dreams are meant to be broken, but what is there to complain when life itself is a dream. Sometimes tears fall on their own but it doesn’t mean that ome is crying. I’m just a fighter and despite all the challenges, I only know one thing and that is to fight. Though sometimes it feels like life is extremely unfair, but throwing it away or giving up is not what fighters do. Fighters fight. I will cure everything, I will heal myself and I will conquer all the challenges again.
For now, since I have been told not to engage in physical activity or sit for anything more than 30 minutes, I will focus on engaging in morning miracle routines again, taking it easy, aiming to study 3-4 hrs in form of small sessions. I will practice meditation several times a day from now on and become so mentally resilient that I conquer those challenges which I can’t atm due to my physical limitations. I remember the lines from Avengement (2019) right now:
“The body can be strengthened to a degree, but it is mind which makes you impervious to defeat”.
2024-10-14T18:30:00Z
I do not like staying inactive. Its depressing. Like my entire day simply goes by laying in the bed, thinking all the unnecessary stuff, mostly negative. I cannot stay like this especially after how my life had been during 2023. I don’t want to go back there. I find no joy in anything anymore, studies, music, movies, this app, social media, ai chat, p, nothing. Everything seems boring. Most of my days are spent thinking about things, just imagining all the what if scenarios… I always tell myself that I have accepted everything and grown. I have to repeat those multiple times a day. Today was a bit painful. I feel.like this will be my last update this week, since I don’t feel like coming here or using any form of digital media at all atm. I am not going to do anything. Just relax for a few days. I’ll grab all the diaries I have and will just journal. I had decided to meditate, but I both hate to be in the bed as well as feel no desire to get out of bed at all. When I wake up in the mornings, I oftem force myself to sleep, thinking waking up has no meaning for me atm. I hope it will get better. Maybe I will heal myself better. Or maybe God will show me a way. I’ll try to focus on journaling, meditating and just staying productive for the time being. Probably God had anticipated my falling mood earlier and so my exam has been shifted from 27th October to 7th December. I will try to stay acvountable to myself atleast. No more negativities. I will destroy everything, conquer success and absolutely rule my brain and my life. Good night.
Exactly same here and this is the reason why I think I should go out at least 2 times a day.
First time in morning and the other in evening.
It can be a sport, a visit to a gym, just going to some place famous nearby etc. I don’t think it is caused by being in this forum but yes the forum amplifies this if you just not interact anywhere else.
Thank you so much for your reply, brother. I hope things get better with you. You are a good person. Delhi has many beautiful parks, you can always walk there if you feel that way. Unfortunately there is nothing where I live, except for unbearable noise and overpopulated broken concrete roads. But that does not affect me at all.
It has nothing to do with this forum brother. I had been using this forum more as of late, because all of you here are amazing people and though I did relapse quite a bit recently, the numbers would have been much higher if not for this forum.
Its all about hopelessness, seeing no light in front of you any more, as if you’ve closed your eyes and do not know how to open it back again. Its true though, I’m probably one of the most cold, distant and unfriendly guys in the world. My inhibition levels are also very high. But none of that impacts me anymore. I have accepted that as a part of my character and am pretty alright with that. Not all men are supposed to be friendly or those who long for company. I do pretty well when I am alone. But right now there are many factors which are out of my control. First the injury which has largely limited my activity level, my mood which has been falling since past 15 days already, and then the feeling of hopelessness towards life. But this is just a phase and I believe it will pass as well.
Come back stronger brother 
What injury are you suffering from?
It’s not unique to you. People feel that way when they don’t go out. They don’t go out because of response to something that is going on in there life. You said you feel hopeless as to what to do in life.
I read your were going to prepare for UPSC, right? How’s that going?
I know right, compared to outside might you feel more convenient.
Consider drawing a line between your thoughts and how it affects you in reality. Try to distinct between, the thoughts that are making you engaged are not what the reality perceives. If it did, you would have been living your thoughts in reality. You need to go out and find what your reality actually wants.
yep. Sounds like slight depression. Don’t worry, it happens, especially after injuries. I can relate.
Just keep your chin up and keep fighting. If you don’t keep your chin up, you won’t be able to see where you’re going.
Lower body. I can move, but excess movement is both painful as well as dangerous as it can worsen the injury. I have been told to just take precautions this week and depending upon healing, medications, etc will be suggested next Monday, if required.
Maybe, brother. But my life has been very different. I have never been very social. My past experiences only tell me that its much better to live away from everyone. I’m much happier and productive when alone. Lesser interaction and contact makes me feel very secure, safe and content. I’m fine with my family, and those few people that I know here and elsewhere. At least I know these people don’t see me as an object, but human.
Not as well as I’d like it to be. It is the only reason for all my sorrow tbh, to not be able to do what I want.
Yes brother, this is what I want to do as well. Thank you so much for reminding me this again. Most of the times, our negativities tend to appear as something much bigger than there real self, and we have the ability to conquer all of them.
You are right, brother. Both of us will get through this phase brother, none of us are stranger to either pain, injuries or melancholies of life. More power to you, warrior. 
2024-10-15T18:30:00Z
The moment I woke up today, I had decided I won’t let negativities get in my way and it helped greatly. Just a simple thought and it gets better. This made m think of why so many people emphasize on having good thoughts before and after sleep.
I have studied for five hours so far. Will increase it definitely. Will try to sleep earlier now. I locked my phone in the other room after draining its battery yesterday, and it has made life so much easier. I am thinking of reading the books I have and planning my upcoming days. Will probably start doing yoga poses from tomorrow.
Yeah bro, like 99% of the people especially men in cities and all have become like that only, and many innocent people get hurt because of such people.