Pran Adhyay (19M)

I want to start a journal/ diary for myself. I really dont have a habit of journalising but anything good can always be adopted.
I want to see myself grow with this diary. Everyday I will share my progress, daily jobs done and little bit of feelings and thoughts that crush my mind.



  • Woke up at 8 am
  • Did nothing specific whole day except study at night
  • taking out the pillow
  • Hip Bath before sleeping
  • Study time- 2 hrs

I woke up groggy and fatigued. But obviously better than other streaks. I am losing from the last few times just because of 'self imagination masturbation ’ and nothing else. I think I lack in productivity. With this journalising, I hope to be accountable more to myself.
I somehow passed the day by watching t.v. I had no mood to study the whole day. At night, I got little bit of recharged to study.
I made sure to keep my side pillow out of my bed, it’s a very big reason for my self imagination masturbation.
I took the hip bath just before going to sleep. In that I simply pour water all down my body below my hips. It is said that it calms down your genito-urinal nerves and makes you feel calmer and urges also come less. I have been really benefited from it. Though, I miss it quite a number of times (more frequent to miss in chilling winters).

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  • Woke up at 8:30 am
  • taking out the pillow
  • Hip Bath before sleeping
  • Study time- 2 hrs
    Oh man! Today’s cold is just spine chilling. I had no intention to wake up today. Buth had to go to college.
    I really repent taking into this college. I took it just because I have social anxiety and its nearby my home and couldn’t even choose my desired subject. This fact will haunt me for years. But anyways, I think I deserve this punishment for doing all kind of wrong activities of watching pornography and being escapist.
    I came back home after college and was soo tired that I couldn’t study a single thing afterwards.
    I watched a good movie on television with parents.


Day 1

Got lost again in that circle and it took time to return to normal.
I am returning with lot more enthusiasm than my all other times combined. Why?

I am finally able to draft a way to help me meet my dopamine levels. I was really lacking in that. As in the last streak and in major of my streaks, I really forget porn. I know that sounds achievement. It is…it is

But the problem with me is that after continuing my streak for a few days, my dopamine levels really suck. I don’t have access to any of the porn material [atleast till now everything is blocked. In these two years, after struggling, falling, dying a lot many times, I am quite able to block every damn thing which can lead to relapse]

I neither have any access to any entertainment at all, just T.V and nothing else.
So, this time I provided myself with two big sources of dopamine.

  1. A game which I like the most (Real Cricket 20)
  2. Few allowed websites to browse on

Will keep posting. Good night.

Sharing Code : ku5u5wP

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