Im 30. Started pmo at 13. 17 years i’ve been doing this.
I didnt begin to think it was a problem until 25 y/o. I have had many long streaks since then, going months at a time without and a few “slip ups” and “binges” but have not been a regular user since.
My longest streak was over a year. A couple times this has been achieved.
Ive never relapsed(falling back into regular use) but have slipped since i resolved to quit 5 years ago.
Slip up is using once in an unfrequent basis for me. Like watching once after 300+ days, then going another 200, etc.
I still struggle with urges some days.
Before i saw it as a problem, I commited some dark acts, which i feel to confess. I believe it was porn which lead me to do these things.
- at 22 I hired an escort and had sex with her, after watching lots of porn before hand and edging.
- a few months later, i did the same thing, I felt great shame afterwards.
3)until 24 I used sex dating sites and tried to hook up with many woman and couples too. Many I didn’t feel truly attracted or interested in. I met up with a woman i was not really attracted to at one point, out of shear horniness and porn induced lustfullness and never saw her again. I sent out many messages and nudes of myself to woman and couples, whom I didn’t want more than to “get off to”. - at 24 I visit a happy ending massage parlor. I was edging on porn for a few hours before hand.
- I did the same act again, after viewing milf porn. I metup with a 55+ year old for a happy ending.
- One my slip ups on a streak, I didn’t watch porn, but I sexted with a woman from an online web chat, while being in a healthy and happy relationship in real life.
I feel embaressed and ashamed of these things, I have never told anyone.
Ive been free since i was 25, except a handful of slip ups.
I joined to help with my goal of no slip ups ever again, until i die.