Sorry for Long post & any mistakes, in advance.
I have been masturbating since I was 12, lost virginity at 15. Now I’m 24 & have a 6 months window before getting a job. Somewhat of Asocial & Lonely nature. Smartphone Addicted. Didn’t have any penetration sex after my first. So the cravings never stopped. Tried being in relationships too but didn’t work yet. Maximum NoFap streak I reached is 180 days two years back, when I had a break-up & was angry.
Coming to Now, I’m in 7 months long-distance relationship with a ■■■■ girl whom I met on my B’day. She’s Amazing in everything but still Not ready for full intercourse. So we do sexting, video calls & try to do everything (except penetration) when we meet.
Last month, I relapsed 3 times before meeting her mid-august. We went on a jungle trek & due to many factors, I couldn’t get any boner once I pull it out (it was bursting in pants tho). It sort of happened once before too but blowjob did wonders then. This time, We tried hard but No avail. And then & there I was completely shattered inside. She was very supportive and helped me come out of that jungle & of my negative thoughts. After that, I have fapped 7 times (few times sexting n video calls). So it makes August a very bad month for me, Relapse count 10.
She said I’m prone to masturbating by hand watching ■■■■. Also I got serious Anxiety issues when having encounter with her. Self-esteem is very low & Physical-Mental health is not in check due to continuous PMO.
I don’t want it to become serious Erectile Dysfunction or anything. I feel very determined to Not Relapse again so I can be good for her next time. I’m sure this Community will Help me to abstain & reach my goals. Add me code – nlyxyt, I will add back. THANKS AGAIN. Day 4
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