Pizzamonsters diary

Well where do I start. I have been fighting pmo for years now. Im so done with it, lately my streaks have been longer than ever. However I still relapsed an hour ago or so, after (a few hour before) 3 weeks. The thing is that I felt strong yesterday, yet I failed

I have to get back on my feet. To do that I thought this might work. Every time I get the slightest bit of urge, I will post my frustrations here and get over them. Im gonna focus for now on the next 48 hours, those seem to be the difficult time fore me always.


Making a journal is a huge step forward, almost every successful person I have seen so far keeps some kind of journal. I haven’t made my journal public yet but I really appreciate people who do, I think it’s very brave and noble thing to do. I wish you luck and I recommend you journal why and how you relapse, you can come back and read your word for years to come, over time you will realise your strengths and weaknesses both sub-consciously and consciously


Thanks man! I hope this is gonna work for me. Thanks for the advice as well. Here I go: last relapse (22-feb, yesterday) ess because I started gettinf into a thinking-trap, as I like to call it. I started thinking about how far I came (3 weeks) but instead of just getting proud I started thinking about the images of porn that were still in my head. I relapsed shortly after.

But I survived this day easily. This has to be the easiest first days after a relapse. Tommorrow I have to work early shift, so I wont have the energy to relapse after that I hope. If I think I will relapse I ll go to a friend of mine. Distraction helps me the most.


Didnt have time to write yesterday, too tired. This has been ny 3rd day, still counting. Next week will be easily, I hope. But I will go through the next 2 days first.

Wow I just relapsed. After 4 days and a few hours dafuq. Well, i know what do to, I will have to fight harder. I didnr even try to stop it this time for some reason. It felt like my brain and my will were out of the picture. Gonna go for one week now, cant let this happen another time. The reason this time was clearly boredom.

1 Like

Boredom is the snake stay away from you already did for days thats amazing your next goal should be 8 days everytime add days trust its a battle but you will can do it its all in your Brain be the master of your brain take back what belongs to you and thats your center your control!


Sorry for late reaction. Really tired from work (I go to school but work in holidays), got one day off tho. Youre right. My next goal is 8 days. I reset my timer this morning. Yesterday I watched a movie, and therr was an erotic scene in it, didnt know it was there cuz it wasnt the movie for such scenes. I rewatched it a few times so that counts as edging. i resetted my timer this morning. Every evening I will update you for 8 days, I promise.

1 Like

Day 1 completed, not much trouble. Day 2 letsgo

Late update, but day 2 completed as well.

Relapsed again, so done with it, gonna uodate every evening again.

Day one completed, really wanted to relapse but survived :slight_smile:

Day 2 complete, I relapsed the day before yestersay right when I hit first day mark. So now on day 2

Im back after weeks of no posting. Lately I feel depressed and started hurting myself again to try to make it stop. I dont do the latter anymore, but I still am depressed. I keep on failing after 2 days. The problem is that streaks of one to almostv3 week were common but now I keep failing. I needed to get this off my chest.


Just relapsed yet again. Im thinking of just cutting of my penis and getting it over with. I do not wanna die and thats the only thing keeping me from doing that. I want to become in control of myself, yet how more I try to how more I fail. I need a saviour but that saviour can only be me. What have I become shouldnt matter, it should just be what will I become. But I keep on looking back at past failures, and than I get in the temptation to fail again. I am not even close to the person I want to be. Im nothing currently :confused:

1 Like

Hey man. I can really understand you.
One really important thing is to realize that the past is not what you are now.
Because you failed yesterday doesn’t mean that you’ll fail today.
Because you failed this morning doesn’t mean that you’’ fail this evening.

The only thing the past is, is a fountain of experiences. Use them to decide how you wanna live your present moment.

Everyone does things in the past that are wrong if you look back. But that’s a good thing. You know now how you should react if a similar situation occurs.

Keep going and be strong!


Hey man, sucks to hear that you keep relapsing. What helps me a lot is to make an action plan before I actually relapse. Say that you usually relapse when you come home from work at 6pm. Then try to plan beforehand what you are going to do when you actually get home from work. For example, when you get home, immedeately start cooking your dinner or immedeately start reading a book in your living room.

When pmo was still a habit of mine, it was sometimes pretty hard to think clearly through all the urges. I found that when I made plans beforehand, I didn’t have to think what I should be doing during an urge. It helped me a lot, maybe it will help you too.

Best of luck mate


You’re right. This time until now I didnt fail. I stayed strong today and I will tommorrow. But the thing is that urges come so sneaky. It starts for me (just an example) with a music video. Getting me in the wrong mood to do more. Until I end ul with porn again. Past experiences I often forget at the moment itself, cuz I often dont see it coming. But youre right: I m not gonna let the past decide who I am. Ill climb the mountain.


Thank you very much for your advice! I never really planned a day before. I did try to plan an average day, but no day is average. So tommorrow morning I m going to write down specificly what I will do THAT day and I will repeat that. I survived this day so I have a little bit of confidence back. I might relapse some day. But tommorrow will not be that day :-).


Gone through it, tommorrow is day 3, I always feel like thats the most importsnt day for a week nofap at least, so Im not gonna fail tommorrow

1 Like

Havent relapsed yet, its now afternoom here, Im not gonna update tonight. Because yesterday just after my last post I got a very strong urge. I did overcome it before PMO, but it was difficult. Next update will be tommorrow morning.