Pierretomas18's diary - up

I hestitated some time before, thinking about whether or not writing a diary was useful. But hey I’m back on day 0, so I’m doing this to prove you guys that every streak can be the ONE streak. It was the last time I relapsed. Sounds like some classic bulls***, doesn’t it? Well, just hang over here dor a few days, a few weeks or a few months and you’ll realise all it takes is making a decision at some point -and sticking to it.
Welcome in my diary.


Day 0:
Had a shitty day. It is funny how the world seems to be conspirating against you as soon as you fall from a good streak. I wonder what physical condition causes this.
Anyway, some bad luck, a bit of tiredness and a lot of frustration made my day. I just can’t get satisfied over anything. Had some urges in afternoon, but won easy as soon as I examined the possible outcomes of the two roads that appeared before me. It often comes down to that.
I said goodbye to boners, random arousal and boosts of happiness for 3-4 days. Now I’m working to make them come back. Went to the swimming pool and really worked it hard, nonetheless.
I know my writing is bad, but it’ll get better as the streak goes on. Or maybe it’s only some weird paranoia about myself. That’s what these days are, really : full of doubt and frustration. Must go on.


No bro your writing is good, and this is a good decision to start journaling. I completely understand the situation you are in right now, I have felt those same feelings too.

But there is hope, and I think your plan to write here is going to make a huge difference for you. I know it has for me, and now I am on day 100 no PMO.

I might suggest that when you journal to also write down urges and what they are saying. Try to get to the root of them, even while you are experiencing them. It will help you to stay conscious of what is causing you to relapse and how you can work through it.

Stay strong man :muscle: I’ll be following your journey!


Exactly man!
A simple decision can change your whole life!
All the best on your journey👍


Give me your sharing code. I am also on day 0.

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83d24b lets do this together man


That’s great…


Day 1:
Kind of a weird day today, mind is still not clear. Got some disturbing information about myself, that really got me wondering long about my childhood. Apart from that, a regular shitty day, as all day1s are. Honestly, what did you expect?
Got no boners at all, not attracted to girls and struggled to keep up with the studies.
I don’t care, I’m staying on track this time. No matter what. I’ve done some organizing that has made the whole thing easier. Now lets go to day 2💪


Day 2:
I’m definitely on track. Waaaay more productive than before. I think this should be one of our main concerns in NoFap: being productive. While it may seem too much of a hassle to do, working your ass out everyday sure makes you satisfied by the end of the day and provides you with that extra bit of confidence when you say NO to urges.
So I had a 4 hour exam this morning in french. Mind still wasn’t that clear, so I decided do take a 10 minute break to meditate and everything went faster afterwards. Went eating to a restaurant with some friends, but my mood crashed and I was basically depressive-looking for half of the afternoon. I had a long talk with a girl I really like and managed to set up a meeting with her outside of school. Also worked and revised for more exams coming.
To sum it up : busy day, with a big black hole in the middle but still better than yesterday nonetheless. Urges were almost non-existent, and I didn’t have a single PMO thought for the whole day. That may be because I’m improving my meditation skills these days.
Meditation is also very important. When you know how to control your mind, relapse can only take you by surprise when you are too tired to fight, but these situations are fairly easy to avoid if you make sure to sleep enough and go to bed not too late.
As you can see, my mind is a volcano erupting 1000 ideas every second. Not smooth though. That’ll come with time. I feel like I’m making progress.
I’m on my way.


Saw you relapsed man. What happened?

Hope all is well otherwise.

Rise again brother :facepunch:

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Yes. I relapsed.
Since 3 weeks, I keep relapsing in the same EXACT conditions, from the same trigger. This trigger is playing League of Legends. It has become the only trigger for me. And last night, after relapsing, I uninstalled it. So I should be good now.


Very good man! Yeah I found League was sometimes a big trigger for me when my friends would have me play it with them. All of the scandalous-looking girls would bring on bad urges.

But good you identified it and got rid of it. I know it probably wasn’t easy if you enjoy the game a ton. Had to get rid of some games myself even though they were some of my favorites (i.e. Skyrim). I just can never go back to those games, the urge to download mods is too triggering. Despite the relapse, you did great work getting rid of this stuff, that’s the best way to come back from a relapse, to know exactly how to stop the next one.

Get back in the fight brother :facepunch:

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Day 0:
Shitty as hell day. I notices a difference in my strategy : I am 100 times busier than before. I do so many things these days, I have free time only from 9 PM or so. It make it easier because I simply don’t have the time to feed urges. Anyway, as for my day:
-went to church this morning
-spend much time with my friends, some girls were there including the girl I really like, was unable to connect and have some good time with her though, which made me depressed on my way home
-worked and revised for exams

Going in for day 1 and looking forward to going out with that girl tomorrow after school.

It is our choices that define us, Harry, not what we are


Day 1:
Tired af. My day was ok-good. Went out with that girl and we had some good time. I honestly enjoyed her company as a friend and nothing more, which was actually nice and enjoyable. I think we got closer. Relapsing can actually have some good side effects in unexpected situations lile this one : first time I ever said to myself «happy I’m not on day 10». Do not use my bullshit as an excuse. Please.
Tired. My day was tiring. My brain is aching. Not giving in though. Half happy of my day.
Now I go to sleep (aaaaaah at last)


How’s it been going man? Haven’t heard from you in a little while.

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