Part 3 - The Spiritual Malady - The Brain and Negative Emotions

Thank you for all this. It’s really helpful and really great reading time. Very much appreciated

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I hope this helps me because I have been on the same journey …waiting for your solutionss

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Welcome to the community. It’s good to see you Here. How long have you been addicted? And where are you in trying to stop.

A CLOSER LOOK AT THE BRAIN

(Sorry this is a little long - TLDR: If your are addicted then you are screwd.)

I believe that most guys get addicted when they are young - before the age of 20 and very often around the ages of 10 to 13 years old. This is a time when the brain is in full development and not ready for the powerful feelings that nudity and sex has on the brain.

It does not mean that older people that are exposed to porn later cannot get addicted, I have seen some cases, but most of the time it happens really early in life.

This makes sense.

Let’s look a little deeper at the development of addiction in the brain.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in this field, but this is what my research and studies have yielded. We can go a lot deeper into this type of research, but that is not the point. I hope that what I have written will be enough to help us understand addiction while keeping it simple.

Here we go.

As I mentioned above, the brain is built for efficiency. That is how we have survived. We have a problem, and the brain gives us the best solution - the most effective solution. Most of the time, that is exactly what we want (and we are not even conscious about it). But sometimes the solution is very good at solving short term problems but causes longer term issues. This is the case of lust and porn.

It starts with one experience that changes everything – we see a powerful sexual imagery and our brain lightens up. We are built with a bias for reproduction, so the sexual image causes an explosion of pleasure endorphins and neuro-transmitters in our brain. We feel something that We have never felt before. It is amazing. It feels really good. Now, if we were feeling painful negative emotions at the time, those difficult feelings (shame, loneliness, fear, disappointment, abandonment, rejection, anger, physical pain) are also swept away by the same wave of feel-good neurotransmitters.

The brain, especially the Amygdala records this new experience: sexual images = no more negative emotions + feels great. The Amygdala is the region of the brain that regulates our emotions – especially fear. When the amygdala senses these negative emotions, it sends a message to other parts of the brain to solve the problem.

In our case, it remembers that the last time we felt this way, viewing powerful sexual images made everything better. The Orbitofrontal cortex and the Cingulate Gyri (limbic system) part of our brain regulate the judgement of the cortex and how to regulate emotions and pain. It decides the stimuli-response choices and says let’s watch the sexual images - it will be good and solve these painful negative emotions. This is when our brain wants us to find porn or sexual images again. The desire starts to build.

When we see, or remember sexual images, the Ventral Tegmental Area (TVA), where dopamine is produced, releases a large quantity of this neurotransmitter. Dopamine helps us feel pleasure. In the case of sex and sexual things, a lot of pleasure. At first, the release happens at that time, later the anticipation of pornography is enough to release the dopamine. The Arcuate Nucleus (AC) also releases endorphins and the Locus Coeruleus (LC) releases adrenaline and noradrenaline.

These are the neurotransmitters that we mix in our porn cocktail that is released in our brain. It makes us feel amazing, especially when we learn to masturbate and experience orgasm. This climax reinforces the connection in the Amygdala that porn is a great way to regulate the negative painful emotions – the addiction is settling in for the long term.

The next evolution is important because it creates the permanent aspect of addiction – the physical allergy or craving. This is where we change physically and our brain is injured. We will not be permanently addicted.

This is what happens.

When the TVA, AC and LC release this much pleasure and excitement feelings, really too much pleasure and for too long (especially for a young 13-year-old brain), a neurotransmitter called Gamma-AminoButyric Acid (GABA) is deployed in our brain to acts as the police force of the nervous system and to protect the brain from the overdose. The brain is saying too much, too much dopamine, let’s slow this down. GABA is “the chief inhibitory neurotransmitter in the developmentally mature mammalian central nervous system. Its principal role is reducing neuronal excitability throughout the nervous system.” What really happens is that it inhibits the pleasure neurotransmitter, and the dopamine production cells in the VTA start to shrink and atrophy.

Yes, our brain shrinks, at least some parts of it.

It’s not the only part of the brain that shrinks, the Orbitofrontal cortex shrinks increasing the impulsiveness, compulsiveness and bad judgement when it comes to porn. It’s like our brake pads are wearing out. We can’t stop making the decision to view porn. Our Cingulate Gyri also physically shrinks. The Ventral Tegmental Area producing dopamine shrinks – Why should it keep producing so much dopamine, when there is too much and GABA is removing it.

This is the final piece for a full addiction.

Since the parts of our brains that normally regulate your emotions, shrink and atrophy, our body does not release enough pleasure neurotransmitters on its own. Our brain stops and waits for porn do the work.

When we don’t view porn, our body has lost the ability to feel good on its own. Over time we become uncomfortable, irritable, discontented and unhappy. Why am I not feeling good? The normal day-to-day events of life that increases our fear, our stress and our feeling bad are still there but we don’t have our normal (like everyone else) mechanism to feel good, so our amygdala comes to the rescue and suggests that we lust, look at sexual provocative images (porn or mental fantasy) or masturbate and orgasm to feel better. If we don’t, then the feeling of craving (the need for dopamine) will grow and grow and grow until we cannot deal with it and we finally give in. We have just relapsed

Two more points before we end this section.

Over time, our brain becomes so unbalanced, that lust does not do it any more (not enough dopamine), then sexy bikini pictures don’t do it any more, then nude pictures don’t do it… we always need more and more to have enough pleasure to cover up all the negative emotions.

So normal day-to-day stressors that normal people can handle without a problem, become too much for us and we need more and more of our lust drug to feel normal.

I know this is depressing.

We are physically disabled in our heads and porn did it to us (with our help). This need for more, and more, and more powerful sexual stimuli is what creates the physical allergy for lust. The anticipation of lust and porn, starts the VTA to release dopamine, but it is not enough. You need more lust and more powerful sexual imagery, even videos where we experience the sexual sound and the actions, it captivates us.

We need more, more, more. Stronger, more descriptive, more real, and more hard. We need this escalation, this progression to just get the same high as we used to get.

We are sick. It is no longer about morality, about will-power, about choosing to stop. Our brain has slowed down the creation and release of dopamine, endorphins and adrenaline so much that without porn we cannot function normally. The normal day-to-day stressors happen everyday, and so we need our solution everyday. If we don’t give in and view something to give us our feel-good fix, then we experience headaches, irritability, restlessness, anxiety and sleeplessness - withdrawal symptoms.

And to top it up, if you try to resist viewing porn and stop (nofapping) the lack of these neurotransmitters will just build an ever stronger craving that will drive you crazy.

Welcome to hell.

As I have seen many times in the forum : It’s not easy to do porn and it’s not easy not to do porn (not even to mention the long term effects of ED and PE).

Final point, when we orgasm, a hormone is secreted called Vasopressin. This hormone creates in men an emotional bond between us and our sexual partner. This is great if we have sex with a person that we love, but since we are having orgasms while looking at pictures or videos, we become connected and bonded to the pornography and the stories of sexual seduction.

I am sure there is even more that we could bring up about the brain addicted to porn and how it causes the addiction (i am even sure that I have made some mistakes) but I think that what I have shared is enough to establish that:

  1. Our brain is obsessed with porn.
  2. It uses porn to regulate our emotions, especially negative emotions,
  3. The phenomenon of craving because of a lack of normal creation of dopamine, makes us need to lust more and more to make us feel good.

In other words, I have an allergy to lust and porn, when I start lusting, I need more and more to satisfy my needs (problem #1), my brain is obsessed to view porn and will find any way to convince me until I give in (problem #2) and I need porn to remove the pain that I feel from the stressors of normal living (problem #3).

This is the essence of the problem. This is why a lust/porn addiction is so hard to break. It’s wired in our brains and each time I do it again I reinforce the neural pathways of my addiction.

I know this is depressing but we need to know the truth if we are going to find a permanent solution. Keep reading and keep coming back.

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Hey - I would love to know, when did you start viewing porn or nudity?

For me, I looked at Payboys when I was 11 or 12. But even earlier, I did play doctor and examine girls when I was 7 or 8.

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As for trying to stop I have understood…I will get a little religious at this time…
In Islam we know there is hijab, hijab is actually protecting and covering your chastity and your shame.
In Islam Hijab is not only for women but also for men…
People say Hijab is difficult for women, I say its easy to cover yourself even in the heat… But it’s not easy to keep your eyes and heads down while the woman is in front…that’s what you have said in your whole research…how amazing Islam is…btw the things you have said that’s just really how it works… Every time you think about it you will do it … These all tactics of gyming getting busy in something… It works …but not completely…there should be some strong solution to this …

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You are right. There is a strong solution. It is to find and obtain a power greater than any human power (ourselves or others). That works.

The how to do it is also known and has been tried and tested my over a million addicts that have it to give them complete freedom from their addiction. It involves 12 steps and by discussing the the 3 problems we are really getting to the bottom of the first step.

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I really look forward to learning about the 12 steps.

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Thats why i realise that why my tastes changed in wilder and ugly fantasies which i never had

This is 100 percent true because its not just about ■■■■
Here is a real life scenario which happened with me
I was preparomg for exams but used to procastinate a lot
So what i did was i decided not to use phone and just focus on studies
So from 8 till 1 i studies with small breaks in between but then i started feeling bulky in head
So i thought why mot take a break and go have lunch
While having lunch i thought why dont i see youtube some comedy video or anime till i have lunch then ill go and study
Guess what the bulkiness in head was gone but after lunch i no more felt like studying because i like i cant remember anything etc stuff amf i wasted the rest of the day

Exactly what I experienced. I started watching stuff super gross. Never thought I would.

"IS PORN ADDICTION WORSE THAN COCAINE?

This is from a book on porn addiction written by a neurological surgeon and doctor:

“VISIBLE DAMAGE AND HEALING

When addiction causes shrinkage of certain nerve cells, the area of the brain containing these cells actually shrinks, and this can mean measures in drug addiction such as cocaine and methamphetamine and in natural addiction such as obesity and, significant to our subject, sexual addiction.

(There is Table 1 with 5 regions of the brain called Orbitofrontal Mid Frontal, Insula Hippocampus Temporal, Nucleus Accumbens Putamen, Cingulate and Cerebellum. It then shows that Obesity has 2 parts of the brain that shrinks, Cocaine and Methamphetamine has 3 parts that shrink and Sex and Pornography addiction has all 5 areas that shrink.)

Table 1 is a compilation of studies showing atrophy (shrinkage) of different areas of the brain associated with pleasure. Most of these areas are concerned with pleasure itself. The Mid-frontal gyrus is involved with pleasure/control, and the cerebellum is a coordination center. Note that the sexual addiction study on the bottom row shows the most extensive atrophy. This is significant in that most recovering individuals I have spoken to who have dealt with both drug and sexual addictions say that the sexual addictions were more difficult to overcome than the drug addictions.” Source: Hilton Jr. MD, Donald; He Restoreth my Soul; 2009; p. 63 - 65,

This neurologist says that there is evidence to show that porn addiction is worse than cocaine addiction. That is very interesting.

We can wonder how an addiction that is just looking at things worse than an addiction where people are putting things in their body. I don’t know the real answer to this but it makes sense that if we take a drug or alcohol, that our body must first metabolize the physical substance into endorphins and neurotransmitters before it hits the pleasure regions of the brain. Porn just goes from the eyes to the brain. The connection is faster.

Porn and sex are also related to one of the primary objects of our bodies, reproduction. It seems normal that it would be wired to make sex really important.

This is to say that if we think that addiction is only for substances that you take into your body, we may have to reconsider that. I for one am convinced that I am addicted.

A LITTLE GOOD NEWS

The book also says this:

“With months of recovery, these damaged areas can regain their size, both in drug (methamphetamine) and in natural (obesity) addictions. It is significant that the visible changes of recovery from addiction seen in brain scans correlaed with the addicted person gaining control of their life throught recovery. Dr. Doidge, in describing his treatment of men with severe pornography and sexual addictions, says… “even some of these men were able … to change … because the same laws of neuroplasticity that allow us to acquire problematic tastes also allow us, in intensive treatment, to aquire new, healthier ones and in some cases even lose our older, troubling ones”

This means taht even if the regions of the brain shrinks and are damaged that with time of being recovered (no fapping) our brains can change again and heal. This means that if we can just find a way to stay stopped we will get better.

Now it does not matter if LPMO addiction is worse than any other addiction. I am addicted to it and it is destroying my happiness and my life. That is all that matters.

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Sorry I have been silent for a couple weeks. Just really busy. Took a week for a vacation with the kids and now back to work. I will star writing about the solution tomorrow and get something out this week. Thank you for your patience.

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Finally. I was able to take a few hours and start writing about the solution to lust and porn addiction. Here is a link to Part 4 - The Solution - 12 Steps of Recovery: Part 4 - The Solution - 12 Steps of Recovery

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Thank you for these posts. Although some of the details are different, I completely see myself in your descriptions of how it all started and continues today.

I just installed the Rewire Companion app and found this forum.

Today is day one, the start of recovery. Thank you!

Playboys at 13, then progressing to more explicit magazines, then videos. Didn’t help that I found an adult video in my dad’s briefcase.

Welcome to Rewire. It is very interesting how every addict has a very similar story. How is it going?

Really it is the combination of the 3 problems that we have been examining that makes nearly impossible to overcome my addiction to fapping. I hated each time I would just fall back on my face and see that again my PMO addiction had won again. I would never give up, I would do ANYTHING that was needed to get rid of this never ending cycle.

Think about how these 3 problems compound to create this situation. 1) I am alergic to lust and when I start I cannot stop until porn and most ofthen orgasm; 2) When I do stop (at the end of the bing), over time my obsessive mind makes me think I can do it again, just a little; 3) the negative emotions that I have in my life (anger, fear, guilt and others) creates something inside me that leads my brain to find a solution and what it knows it that is must convince me to use porn to feel better.

Individually each of these problems is managable but when you put them together, they becomes too powerful for me. I become powerless over my addiction and that is the essense of the 1st step of recovery. I must admit this to move forward and claim the recovery solution. I wrote more about this today here: Part 4 - The Solution - 12 Steps of Recovery - #4 by 24hours24

It is really interesting how when we are in the middle of addiction to PMO we think that this is the problem when it really is lust, but that is really not the real problem. When you live the 12 steps of recovery for some time, you learn that the real problem is selfishness. I know it does not make sense just saying it that way. I was surprised also. But if you really think about it, what is the spiritual malady really if it is not selfishness in action that makes us feel guilt (because we hurt someone), fear or anger. Just something to think about.

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