Urges are thoughts, and you are in control of your thoughts. Every human being has urges and temptations; these are a natural part of life. It is our actions that determine our character and how we choose to react to those urges.
Make the decision to not allow any lustful thoughts to remain in your mind. The brain will cause random arousal, flash a memory of P or point out a woman in the street or or online and cause urges to come. Do not allow these thoughts to linger. These thoughts activate your brain’s reward circuitry and begin producing dopamine. The brain knows the biggest source of dopamine you have known in the past is PMO, and it starts pressuring you to relapse the more you allow these thoughts and fantasies to remain.
Instead, acknowledge these thoughts and take responsibility for the urge; 'I want to stare at that woman with lust. or ’ I want to watch P and M. This simple statement gives you power and stops the urge from growing larger, because our tendency in the past has always been to deny the urge’s existence, until it grows too large to ignore and we feel we must relapse to remove the pressure.
Then, accept that this temptation is normal. It is not bad to be tempted to PMO, it is the action that counts. A recovered alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years and is tempted to drink has done nothing wrong; it is only wrong if she grabs the bottle and takes a drink.
Then, make your decision. "I choose a life of freedom, receiving genuine benefits, living a life full of love, joy, confidence, strength and self-control.
This process takes less than 2 minutes to get rid of the urges for you. Your brain cannot focus on urges and your vision of a positive life at the same time. It helps if you memorize a list of the top 5 reasons why you want to stop PMO, and reflect on them for a few seconds.
You’ll notice that this short process can be done anywhere at anytime, and it takes much less time than a walk or a cold shower, with stronger results. It takes very little willpower too, only the decision to act in the moment and not be afraid of the urges. Every relapse is a choice, no matter how hard it is to accept that. We can always choose to do better. Once you can consistently make choices in your best interests, you are on your way to a life of freedom.