Sorry I couldn’t get back to to you. Forum was inaccessible from the app.
Relapsed 7 days ago. Going strong now. I don’t know why but I now have an insane confidence that I won’t relapse again. It’s like I got super powers.
I didn’t actively seek out ■■■■ but I was exposed to provocative stuff a while back ( 3 to 4 days ago ). Even though the urges were strong and recurring I didn’t give in. Not even for a bit. I did not even touch my D. This happened many times that day. And the denials have hardened my willpower.
That day was the day when something fundamental changed inside me.
Now when I see naked or dirty pics I don’t get excited mentally, though physically I get hard. I accept it as it is. Just pics of human body. I don’t fantasize about it.
I had plenty of time to fap multiple times, yet I just didn’t and don’t find the need to jerk off. Sure, I get blue balls, awkward erections, hot balls & D that feel like its going to burst etc; every now and then. But I can get past all that with knowing that it’s normal and completely harmless. Just give it some time, & they will all revert back to normal.
6 and a half days done. Just 14 days more for complete rewiring.
I’m now going through flatline period. Everythings messed up. I’m very demotivated. I get mood swings. But I know that its my body acting up and that once I get past this phase I’m all set for the future.
12+ years of addiction and I finally feel like I can do this.
One thing that helped me get past the first 4 days was the counter of other guys who had completed a minimum of 40 days. Always follow people with most days of no fap. Sort them in descending order of days in ‘my companions’ tab. Every time you get the urge, check their counter. Let that be your inspiration. If they can do it, you can do it too.
Follow this guy.
@rrks43 ( this dude has 350 days on his counter !!) He has been a huge inspiration to me. Every time I see his counter its like cold water poured over my head. Urges are instantly gone.
Start anew my friend. Let the past be past. Grasp the present. Never give up or give in. Its never worth it.
Below are some quotes that might motivate you.
“■■■■ is like salty water. No matter how much you drink from it, it will never quench your thirst. On the contrary, it will increase it.”
“For seconds of pleasure, you are planting days of guilt and shame”
“What feels worse? A slightly uncomfortable urge that can be taken care of by going for a walk, or the feeling of shame that only time can heal?”
“If you do and relapse you’ll be again at the level you were days AGO, when you were begging for the day you are NOW”
“Every time you relapse, you reinforce the idea that this isn’t important enough for your full dedication”
“Whenever you feel like giving up, think of why you started”
“No matter what happened yesterday, what matter is what you gonna do about it. Giving up is not even a choice. Be strong”
Stay strong brother 
.
Had to hurt myself physically to hold on. 12+ years of PMO have seriously frigged my life and my brain. I feel so sick man. This was not a good victory.
. But man was I glad that it was just a dream!!