Trust me bro. It is real deal for all of us. Doing only one relapse between 2 streaks, does stop the bleeding & saves our sex energy.
but do not use any device for that. Use only imagination of ur future wife.
Atleast keep a gap of 7 days in beginning. Then, keep increasing it.
Thankyou brother for your valuable feedback. @siyaRam
I will keep in mind and look into it but before that I wanna tell you something.
Trust me, brother, I have been distant from God for many years. I do not feel like praying, talking, or reading scriptures anymore, because I have felt that nothing ever changed for me. Since childhood, I was involved in prayers and reading scriptures, but when it came to receiving something in return—such as seeing my sincere devotion answered through my wishes—it never happened.
When my wife was alive, I stayed connected to these things mostly because of her. Otherwise, I do not want to return to those old paths.
It may seem like I am immature, but honestly, you cannot force someone to do something they no longer believe is meaningful for them. It may be valuable and helpful for you, but that does not mean it feels the same for me.
How old is your body & sorry but i want to know what happened to your wife ?
sorry for your loss @Adioz brother.
and yes, as I haven’t faced such great losses, but I have felt the same
this relates to me in many ways..
always been agnostic believer, then I felt I don’t need to.
now I am an agnostic atheist, no problem in that, just means we don’t care about the answer for the question, whether god exists or not, because it is irrelevant, in living a happy life.
Does it really matters? I don’t think so
Because of we focus on problem then ultimate goal is to solve it, it’s not about who have it?
“Who have it, what’s his age?” that’s none of the business to anyone(sorry I know it’s rude but you have to understand the emotions also)
“How he have it?” “how we can solve it?” That’s helps more… Only if you wanna help.
But my reasons are different. Everyone is different.
Thanks for little understanding. @Aliquis
Many young people died of heart failure after crona vaccines.
Its ok if u do not want to tell about your age.
@siyaRam don’t try to convince yourself to judgement when don’t know complete picture.
It’s not due to corona vaccine. I have taken it but I haven’t been sick since that day of vaccine.
It’s sensitive topic so I don’t wanna talk more about it.
Since yesterday I wore panch Mukhi rudraksha… I know the meaning of this rudraksha we can’t do any sinful acts. And I wear this after prayer & cleaning process & every steps we have to take
So I completely stopped sinful act. But when it’s high on energy I may take it out… For not disrespecting it.
I experienced many things
One thing is urges are not even came to me at a single time Since I wear it
And today I was reading the book 
“Hindu Astrology for beginners”
I was curious to know how actually our astrologer predict our future predictions just by one chart and some information.
I understand basic things… I will move forward slowly if the curiousity will stays longer.
I started using NotebookLM also.
Honestly I did think about many things to improve one by one
But I ended up overthinking about it rather than acting on it.
I had urges but “I have fear about that “Panch Mukhi Rudraksha”
If I have done any sinful act then the repercussions may happen” because it’s kind of spiritual symbol for all of us.
It helps me & I started experiencing these:-
Reduces negative thoughts
Helps in meditation
Balances anger and anxiety
Supports spiritual growth and discipline
Overthinking still the same…
But My sleep pattern improved I sleep late night but wake up early than before time.
It’s hard to go through grief but still I am working hard.
Controlling my emotions. Never show anybody ego, rudely talk etc because it’s not in my blood I always wanted to have good for everybody. But sometimes misunderstanding happens.
So, if I hurt anyone till now I just ask an apology that kindly forgive me… !!
I did one task today which I felt it’s very hard but I did it with pushing Myself and controlling my mind that it is possible. Then I am able to did it. This is small achievement.
Slowly may be I may achieve more & more which amy be difficult now but that time it would be easier.
Thank you 
I know I shouldn’t keep making the same mistakes that I’ve been making for years, but I don’t know why I always end up back at zero. It feels like "I have a compulsive habit that constantly craves dopamine every day", and whenever I don’t get it in a healthy way, I return to where I used to be.
Ever since the last time I logged in here, I’ve been continuously relapsing. Usually, I do it once a day because I don’t have enough energy for more than that. Sometimes I think that if I had enough energy, I would do it even more, but somehow "I get triggered again and relapse anyway".
Many times, my mind tells me that I should start working out and focus on financial stability as well, but I don’t know why I love laziness more than working hard for my future. Whenever I feel at my lowest, or when my emotions are extremely down and I’m in a very dark mood, I start thinking about my wife. At that moment, "I feel like I don’t have a single source of hope left for a better future".
To be honest, "I loved my wife more than myself". She was connected to almost every part of my life. When she was alive, she was my source of confidence. I felt proud whenever I was with her. I felt loved, and I had dreams of improving my life for our family. But now, "it feels like everything was destroyed in a single second on the day the love of my life passed away".
I’m really confused about whether I should try to do something for myself or just remain where I am right now. Honestly, whenever I feel sad, I become unable to improve myself, and now "the situation has become very bad". I’m unable to get out of it.
Every day, every minute, "I keep thinking about my past", and it feels like it constantly pulls me back to where I was before. Truthfully, "I’m still unable to accept everything that happened to me".
That’s why, even though I try to become better for a few days, it turns into a loop, and "I end up back at zero whenever I lose focus".
"If anybody can help, I would truly appreciate your support."
My current Streak:-
Why I didn’t write here because I have nothing to write…
No progress 
Everyday relapses… Sometimes 1-2 day gap is there automatically it comes I never fight urges or urges didn’t appeared.
But situation is like slowly or sooner situation gonna be worse than before… So before that I should handle myself and control myself from this compulsive behaviour. Relapsing everyday may wosen the health conditions more than righ now.
I will start trying to resist the urges and by not fighting it tackling it properly. Here I feel like whenever I come to this platform I feel sense of control over behaviour even a little but it’s more than not visible here at all.
I understand this is what my pattern
That’s why relapse.
Lonely → watch anything → content triggers → No control thoughts/actions → Relapse.
& Sometimes
Heat Sensation/Blueballs → touching → edging → watching something → Relapse.
One more thing I forgot to mention
How can I live with hope and get a big streak going.
Or
Can my life be redeemed, can I find meaning?
It’s related to all areas of my life…
I don’t know whether I will find the answer or die before getting it.
Started new game which will be enjoyable throughout the Journey..
