Unfortunately I had a relapse. I am currently 1 day and 6 hours clean.
Let me tell you a little about what motivated my downfall. I believe that I have been through an exasperating and anxious moment because there is a family situation that generated friction. There were some unforeseen events in my routine and I ended up having to go to sleep in a hotel where other guys took prostitutes, I did not go there for that purpose, but only to sleep. I’m being honest. That heavy, filthy atmosphere made me strong erotic thoughts, and in the morning I was alone in the room and I woke up very anxious because I was out of my rut. My routine helps me a lot because in it I find the resources that I use to stay away from the PMO.
Conclusion, I went to travel for 2 days and stopped meditating, taking a cold shower, praying, among other habits that brought me virtue and strength to overcome my perversion in PMO, and the absence of these habits made me vulnerable.
Well, now I’ll tell you a little bit about what I learned.
I realized that I must keep my mind focused on my virtuous habits even if I am away from home. I must be very careful with the places I go, for surely the mischief influences my mind.
The interesting thing was that while I was having the relapse I realized that I did not want it for myself, the pornography seemed so empty. It was a realization, do you understand? I felt that as much as I had fallen I was really on the right track.
At that moment I’m looking at the counter on my cell phone gaining second every second. I know I’m going to have to go on other times, but I also know that I’m on the right track, that I will be able to develop my self-control more and more.
I’m back already! No matter how much I have fallen, I have risen!
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place. And I don’t care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently there if you let it”
“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done”
“Now if you know what you are worth, go out and get what you are worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You’re better than that”
(translated by Google)