Now or never! no more old me!

** I almost crash a kid today while cycling**

I ride my bike every evening. However, today, I almost hurt someone. I feel really bad, hence I think I feel the need to journal this. This evening, I rode my bike as usual, but somehow these thoughts started getting to my head, it was fury against someone that hurted me this year. I got so angry and i thought about what should i say to him, but i didn’t realize i’m speeding up.

It went for awhile, then i got to this intersection, i was cycling really close to the right lane, maybe it was my habit to get really close either to the left or right side of road (or maybe because i’m angry i didn’t think of cycling in the middle of the road). As i was about to turn right, there was a black car blocking my view to the right road, i didn’t realize i was quite fast and i supposed to slow down near the intersection, and there was an elderly woman with a kid in front of the car, and the kid suddenly wanted to walk to the front in the same time with me going right. I was so shocked and terrified, the kid was literally next to me as i cycled my bike, luckily the lady held the kid back. I should be apologizing for speeding up, but the shock left me speechless and i went straight home. But after awhile, i went back and rode my bike again in a more calm state to check what happened earlier. I am so sure that i was crazy fast in the rage mode before that the kid and the woman must be as shocked as i was :frowning:

i feel guilty until now, especially because the woman and the kid lives next to me. I’m really sorry for them, especially the kid :frowning: It’s really dangerous to drive or ride or do something while we are emotional and couldn’t focus our attention, keep safe guys

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Don’t let anger cloud your emotions, you are right. But don’t go too fast either.

I don’t think you were in the wrong position. People don’t usually swerve to the middle of the road befire turning, they lean to the side they are turning to.

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Sometimes a good person acts in a bad way. Don’t punish yourself twice.

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11:13 pm

I relapsed after 4 days 10 hours. maybe I relapsed around 40 minutes.

possible causes

  1. I feel unproductive today and just mentally drained (idk why) so I just gave up today
  2. today, I don’t put my mind and heart into prayers, reading bible, and meditation. maybe I’m feeling too cocky after just 4 days free of pmo.
  3. yesterday, I stayed up until 1 am to get the urges away, maybe I’m tired because of that

What I need to fix

  1. put my mind into daily prayers, reading bible, and meditation
  2. sleep early or not at all

I can’t back down now, I believe this is my little step towards my freedom. ill start fresh tomorrow and all glory to God!

GOAL 1: HAVE TO GET TO 1 WEEK STREAK NO MATTER WHAT

Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

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I understand. I have also slapped a student and shouted on my friends, because of anger for no f’ing reason.

It happens brother. We all go through that state. Chill. You have done that once. Now you will not do that.RIGHT? :slight_smile:

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