Not Sure How/When to Approach Younger Cousin

Hey everyone!

So I’ve been trying to find a good time to approach my younger cousin about PMO. We are very close, basically brothers. We grew up together and I am someone he looks up to.

I’ve been wanting to talk to him about it upfront and just ask the question. I know it would be awkward, but I’ve had deep conversations with him before and have helped him with things before so I know how to navigate it.

However, I think if I were to do it that way, we should be pretty much alone, as I don’t want him to be embarrassed or worried someone is going to overhear. I want him to be able to be completely honest, and not worry about someone else seeing him if he gets emotional (I know at his age I cried when I finally ended up telling my mom).

But that’s the hard part, because it is really hard to get him on his own because I actually have two cousins and we always hang out all together. They come as a pair in most situations, so I can’t exactly leave one out. Plus my other cousin is super nosy and it wouldnt work out. And on top of that, it is hard to find a time where we are not in a public or person-filled room.

So I have considered the idea of just dropping a text, and then following it up with, “call me if you want to talk” or “let’s talk one on one when I see you this weekend”. But I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, if it’s too disconnected.

Additionally, I’m also worried whether i should even say anything at all yet, as I am only 17 days into my streak. I want to be completely clean for him so I can support him and give him the answers he needs. I don’t want it to end up like how I treated it with his brother, where I was no help whatsoever and relapsed sometimes more than him. And now his brother isnt even committed to it as far as I know.

But I also hate to think about him having to struggle with this any longer. Assuming he is into PMO. He’s showing odd behaviors that I did when I started, plus he’s at the age.

Sorry this was a long post to anyone who read all of it. But if anyone has an opinion on what I should do, or has had similar experience in this and wants to share some knowledge, please write below!

Thank you!


I have the same dilemma but I can’t assume my cousin is into PMO. But, worried as he’s the age & need positive education.


I had made this mistake… you shouldn’t.

I think you should get Freedom first in order to help & guide others. When he will see you relapsing… it may prove you hypocrite in his eyes.

Today you are confused… but once you gain the control over your nerves… that is the right time to share your experience and dont tell him that what is good & bad… Let him decide… you just have to tell your story. Wise people take lessons from others mistakes.


Ya it’s hard to tell honestly. I’m still not completely sure, and I don’t want to create a weird conversation if he hasn’t yet. But idk, maybe we should just watch and wait.

Thanks for the advice man!

Ya I think you’re right, it is probably better for me to wait and get a hold of myself first. I think his brother only saw me as a hypocrite, as you say might happen with this one. I don’t want that to be the case. I need to fully be there for him.